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WHY GOD CREATED CHILDREN (*thnx Liis!) (AND IN THE PROCESS GRANDCHILDREN) To those of us who have children in our lives, whether they are our own, grandchildren, nieces, nephews, or students... here is something to make you chuckle. Whenever your children are out of control, you can take comfort from the thought that even God's omnipotence did not extend to His own children. After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve. And the first thing he said was "DON'T!" "Don't what?" Adam replied. "Don't eat the forbidden fruit." God said. "Forbidden fruit? We have forbidden fruit? Hey Eve..we have forbidden fruit!" "No Way!" "Yes way!" "Do NOT eat the fruit! " said God. "Why?" "Because I am your Father and I said so! " God replied, wondering why He hadn't stopped creation after making the elephants. A few minutes later, God saw His children having an apple break and He was ticked! "Didn't I tell you not to eat the fruit? " God asked. "Uh huh," Adam replied. "Then why did you? " said the Father. "I don't know," said Eve. "She started it! " Adam said. "Did not! " "Did too! " "DID NOT! " Having had it with the two of them, God's punishment was that Adam and Eve should have children of their own. Thus the pattern was set and it has never changed. BUT THERE IS REASSURANCE IN THE STORY! If you have persistently and lovingly tried to give children wisdom and they haven't taken it, don't be hard on yourself. If God had trouble raising children, what makes you think it would be a piece of cake for you? THINGS TO THINK ABOUT! 1. You spend the first two years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next sixteen telling them to sit down and shut up. 2. Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your own children. 3. Mothers of teens now know why some animals eat their young. 4. Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said. 5. The main purpose of holding children's parties is to remind yourself that there are children more awful than your own. 6. We childproofed our homes, but they are still getting in. ADVICE FOR THE DAY: Be nice to your kids. They will choose your nursing home one day. AND FINALLY: IF YOU HAVE A LOT OF TENSION AND YOU GET A HEADACHE, DO WHAT IT SAYS ON THE ASPIRIN BOTTLE: "TAKE TWO ASPIRIN" AND "KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN"!!!!! Quick, send this on to ten people within the next five minutes. Nothing will happen if you don't, but if you do, ten people will be laughing

A Startling Stastic!!!

A recent survey revealed that the average American walks 900 miles per year. Another revealed that the average American consumes 20 gallons of beer per year. Conclusion: The average American gets 45 miles per gallon.

Oh cut me a break!

Day in and day out, seems it's all the same as if time no longer moves, as if time stands still. It's sad, really The yelling and screaming, slaming and banging things, even an occasional "CRAAASSSHHHH*. The namecalling and blameing needless noize and needless stress One's happiness should not depend Upon another's pain. Day in and day out, seems it's all the same as if time no longer moves, as if time stands still.

nuttin really

Wonders whats up with users. Thoes who go arround using others and laugh seem to be the worse, cuz eventually it'll come back at them. And they wonder why!!! What's worse is thoes who keep takin them back time and time again, constantly being hurt repeatedly. Wonders why they think things will be different when time has proven otherwise. I just dont get it. And Havin fun is only when when all are havin fun.......ger.
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