The Angry White Dude's blog: "not so sure"

here i am again with my exciting life... thought that i found and had eveything that i needed in life....turns out that i was so wrong...FUCK YOU!!! once again two of the most important people in my life have been lying and keeping secrets from me...FUCK YOU!!! and what i have for both of you is a big fuck you... ive been fucked over too many times by the ones that i love...and i say now....FUCK YOU!!!!this is the end... i love my kids and only my two beautiful children.... i can have acquaintences and that is is....FUCK YOU!!! and you all wonder why i am so cold inside, why i wont let you in FUCK YOU!!! i thought that i have been done dirty before....but this i believe may beat all FUCK YOU!!!

im so scared right now, i love my little so so much, more than anything,or anyone, it kills me everytime that i have to take them home, i always leave with tears in my eyes, i hate that their home was torn apart, i mostly hate myself for it. i cant stay sober for to long anymore, i start dwelling on things, and i know that this is killing me as well, oh yeah and i am sorry to those ive not been around for too much on here lately, i hope you understand. anyway there is alot more that i am feeling i just dont know how to let it out anymore, it just keeps boiling up inside me, and i am so scared that im just gonna blow up...but whatever, im gonna try to get some sleep now, my babies will be here nice and early in the morning....wish me luck on that sleep thing...lol

just sitting here thinking about all the things going on un my life right now, no real comment on anything , just confused to say the least, im in the middle of a divorce, i know it is what is best for the wife and i, but everytime i spend time with my kids, i feel like maybe we are cheating them out of something. then on the other hand i know its now good for them to grow up in an unhappy family. im scared that she will try to keep me from seeing the kids as much as i get too now. just waiting on a little more paperwork to be signed and i will be sure of what is going on. anyway, i know that i have found the love of my life since the wife and i split. she makes me very happy(something that i am not used to) she treats me like a real person, she does things for me that i would have never asked of anyone. anyway i know a few of you were concerned with what was going on right now

i do really like this place...but anymore it seems to be just a popularity contest...and not a place to meet people...there are very few on here that even really give a damn about anything but points...ive met many of liars...and very sweet people...some of which are just living lies online...be yourself people...stay clear of all of the drama i really think i may be in the middle of a nervous breakdown...i try so hard to make sure my family gets everything that they need in life...i spend up to 70-80 hours at work almost every week...no time to spend with the ones that i love so much...because of my back ground...i can not find a job as to where i can make more...dont get me wrong...i dont do to bad...but i know i could do so much better...i cannot go back to school...have to work that overtime to pay the bills...im caught up in this game called life....and its getting harder and harder to carry this burden anyway....i do think that its sad that i had more veiwers of the last bulletin thaat i posted...than veiwers that i had when my daughter was born....well i probably wont delete my account just yet...but i am getting aweful bored and aggitated with this place and some of the people here...until next time.....David