(Woman walks in totally nude and grabs a muffin. She has a large, rather offensive tattoo from her bottom rib up her neck.)
Me: “Ma’am, you can’t just take those…”
Nudist: “Why, because of the tattoo?”
Me: “No, because you need to pay for it first.”
Nudist: “It’s a free country!” *walks out*
(I ended up pulling out my wallet and paying for it myself, because getting arrested for chasing a nude chick down the street is not worth it.)
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Egocentrism Meets Geocentrism
Customer, calling from a cell phone: “Would you tell me how to get to your office?”
Me: “Sure, where are you now?”
Customer: “That is none of your business. Just tell me how to get there.”
Me: “But to do that, I need to know where you are starting from. Are you in our town?”
Customer: “I told you that is none of your $%@# business.”
(After few more exchanges of this sort…)
Customer: “You are an idiot. Let me speak to your manager.”
Manager, who overheard part of the conversation already: “May I help you?”
Customer: “Tell me how to get to your office.”
Manager: “Well, that depends on where you are starting from.”
Customer: “&@#$#!! Just $%%@# tell me how to get there.”
Manager: “Okay. See the next corner? Turn right there.”
Customer: *click*
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Those Silly Ethnics And Their Funny Words
Customer: “Do you have burrito wrappers?”
Me: “Do you mean tortillas?”
Customer: “Well I guess you could call them that.”
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DNA Is Such A Bother Anyway
Me: “Is she your biological child?”
Customer: “No, no, she’s natural–no scientific stuff.”
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Some Types Of Trouble Are Worth Getting Into
Guest: “Do your steaks come from a cow?”
Me: “Yes.”
Guest: “Are you sure?”
Me: “Yes, her name was Maybell and we all will miss her very much…”
Boss: *not laughing*
