Paint a picture with my tears, what do you see? What does it show in the end? A heart valuable but broken, torn out, thrown away…. Pain from over these years that's never ending! Hate for your family, friends, love and yourself! Never changed, the darkness from rejection and hate. More tears fall as you keep on painting.
Where is the love gone, the happiness and the joy? Keep on searching, you will find nothing of such sort in the painting. Loosing my mind… bit by bit it starts to show. Should keep on fucking around, would you care if I don't? No deferens, nothing to say, nothing to write. I see darkness and hate is your passion!! An empty space, no love, painted in blood on the walls of your mind, deep inside the darkness you hide, locked away, don't touch, don't speak a word, and live in silence as you loose control slowly! What's the colors you see?
Save me, tell me its okay! Let me walk alone! Let me disappear! Will you ever notice me? Let me burn…Watch me burn!! Let me see you cry for the un forgiven child! Let me see you pain…
These tears won't stop everyday the pain gets worst and everyday I just want to die! What's wrong with me? It hurts so much. Every night I cry myself to sleep. Kill me and burry me…for ever gone. Tears from my face, till I stand in a deep pool of hurt! The pain so unbearable and yet so big part of my life. Who will be there to catch my tears? Who will be there to listen to my cries? It cuts like a knife through every piece of my heart. Cutting away everyday, I have no heart no soul no love just hate like poison running through my veins like this bitter taste in my mouth I cant get rid of. My mind rotten, lost in thought. Do not disturb let her have peace!
Emotionless slave, she who has too much pain, she who has too many worries! Look deep into my eyes…tell me what do you see? So much pain I keep locked away in the depth of my mind never to be spoken of or read, never to find the real me!
To end it, to end it all, now and forever! To die and forget all! Hurt as you hurt me! Cry as you made me cry! Be alone at night as I was alone at night! Loose your mind like everything made me! Feel the way I feel. Would you say those words to me? Would you hold me close in comfort? Let me be the first to know! Let me know I'm alive and loved! That's all you have to say…
I feel empty, alone and unloved even though I know there are people that care, it just never feels that way! Am I looking for attention in places I shouldn't be? Why wouldn't these tears stop flowing? Why doesn't it feel like anyone cares? Even though they do? Who will stop me from crying? Who will comfort me when I'm in need? I need relieve, I need peace…does anyone want me for who I am? Not for sex, not for the way I look but for love and compassion!? I scream and no one even looks up or even bothers to care! Just tell me I'm okay, tell me everything's going to be fine. Comfort me, hold me close, wrap me in your arms, care for me! Just give me a reason to be!
"I want you to know, I found a reason to change who I use to be. To start over. Sorry that I've hurt you. I never meant to do those things to you; it's something I have to live with everyday! And the reason is you!" I want to hear that from YOU! But I guess I will never hear them! So I have to say before I go……I'm sorry, forgive my mistakes! I never meant it to be like that, it wasn't meant for me to be alone, rejected and hated! Should I end it now or live in pain and loneliness? You decide and let me know! Alone, lost, rejected, with one cold heart never to love again! Each piece you rip out will never grow back! Love me, care for me, comfort me…fuck just be there for me!!
This anger, this sudden urge to cut away, piece by piece to this rejected body! Never trust or love anyone for only hurt and pain will follow! You hate me…. This knife in my hand, time draws closer to the end for me. Loosing bit by bit of my mind enduring rejection and madness. Slowly she slips away into total darkness; never will I trust you again. Drenched in her own blood and still the drops drip to the floor. Don't use me….please don't use me?!? With these broken wings I'm fallen and all I scream for is you! Come please, I'm calling! Hurry I'm falling… I'm falling! All I need is you!! She sleeps silent no more. Drifting in the empty space waiting to die….punish me for I have sinned, this house is not a home. Ripped down to the last piece of flesh. Die and be forgotten forever and always! Melt into madness…..
