back from vacation. eye opening experience. had a great time. enjoyed self but learned a hard truth. I was blessed for awhile with a wife and a good wife. My depression fucked it all up. Now it is lost. Being just friends does not work. I would rather be alone. Since I love with everything I had yet my sickness depression got the best of my I think it is time to live that new life the "Acceptance" phase. I do not think I could ever love again with heart soul mind and sprit. So on with a lonely life with my family nearby Mom (overprotective, worring, and always nagging), Danielle (good heart, lives her onw life, i like that about her, her two daughter which i am just an uncle to so i know how that is), My one friend John who I blow off regularly. I plan to do some artwork stone, glass, ect. Go on fun vacations, roller costers, disney ect). It is hard to face the truth but we all must do it, thank the (universe, god, yourself) for what you have. Blame only yourself for what you do not have.