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Love & Pain

I fell in love. Huge mistake. I should have known better. And now it's over. It's for the best, I know that to be true. But that knowledge doesn't make it hurt any less. I have no business being in love with anyone, or allowing anyone to love me. I'm a sex addict. There, I said it. And he's right, I may never be able to be faithful. Even with treatment perhaps there's just no hope for me. Right now I can't allow myself to care. All I can do is feel the pain wash over me in waves. I've never felt so badly or so deeply in my life (save for the love I feel for my children). Mick, should you by some chance read this, I know you're right and this needed to end. I'll always love you but like I told you from the start, my love is just not enough. I'm sorry I can't be who and what you need and deserve. Please don't give up. Not all women are as messed up as I am. I hope one day you'll find real happiness. Your Zoey no more. As for those of you who read this you may want to stay out of my path. Apparently I'm a human wrecking ball.
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