InternationalHoe's blog: "myself"

I don’t kno wat to do I cant eat or sleep All I do is cry I didn’t evn kno I had that much tears in myself to cry that much…the tears should be dried up by now Im changing…but im dying too Im no longer gonna be with multiple gys at the same time…but…im no longer gonna go out with any gys either…no dating evr again…watsoevr I give up I love him so fucking much its driving me crayzz n I don’t kno wat to do Everyone told me I would end up getting hurt in the end…and I knew it myself…I just didn’t kno it would hurt this bad I don’t wanna talk about it face to face with anyone…saying it just makes it hurt more…I can tell anyone ovr the internet…online I can tell u any details u wanna kno…but I cant say it…it makes it final…and I don’t want it to be I hate love I hate life(but im NOT suicidal) …screw this world… …fuck this whole entire pitiful existence ~me~ *my breath has ceased my love is taken my life is stolen* **Never again ,no ,never again. they gave us 2 shots to the back of the head and we’re all dead now**

My breath has ceased My love is taken My life is stolen Cut me Kill me Watch me bleed I push my fingers into my eyes It’s the only thing that slowly stops the ache But its made of all the things I have to take Jesus, it never ends, it works its way inside If the pain goes on… Swallowed up in the sound of my screaming Cannot cease for the fear of silent nights. O how I long for the deep sleep dreaming The goddess of imaginary lights. I lost my fear of falling I will be with you I will be with you And we’ll all dance alone To the tune of your death We’ll love again We’ll laugh again And its better off this way.. O never again Yea never again They gave us 2 shots to the back of the head And we’re all dead now… And we’ll love again We’ll laugh again We’ll cry again And we’ll dance again And its better off this way So much better off this way I cant clean the blood off the sheets in my bed O never again No never again They gave us 2 shots to the back of the head And we’re all Dead Now Well this is what its like when worlds collide Well this is what its like Wat is it really That’s goin on here You’ve got your system for total control So is ther anybody out ther Now watch us suffer cuz we cant go Wat is it really That is in your head Wat litl life that you had just died Im gonna be the One that’s taking over Now this is wat its like wen worlds collide Liberate your mind You mother-f*cker your so narrow-minded So narrow-minded Liberate your mind Now mother-f*cker will you liberate your mind This time Bold mother-f*cker Don't limit your mind Can't you see that the pace Has fallen behind All the hate in your heart Will be leaving you blind So bold mother-f*cker Don't you limit your mind This time Waiting, for your modern messiah To take away all the hatred That darkens the light in your eye Still awaiting. I Liberate - My madness (One of me, all of you) Liberate - My madness I just want to... Section off myself Put a wall up/What the hell have I done Keep the dog at bay Survive by saving me! Values and the game Not a fuck-up - Not a part of your lie I am one, I am all - I'm above and beyond! stand off of the shit back off or I'll spit So soft, you forgot Your garbage in is garbage out You don't give a shit I won't play the fit Get off, get on this Your garbage in is garbage out Liberate my madness... Liberate - My madness (One of me, all of you) Liberate - My madness I just want to... I am not ashamed What is vital, isn't always humane You can break in vain But you can't break away Even in my face Lotta bullshit, not alotta the truth I can't see from here But I can smell your fear Back off of the shit Stand off or I'll spit So soft, you forgot Your garbage in is garbage out You don't give a shit I won't play the fit Get off, get on this Your garbage in is garbage out Saved - You're such a slave - I don't expect a Name - You don't care - I wasn't witness - I can't be a part of a system such as this Hard eyes - Glow right - In my - Darkness - Again With the sickness, rengade sisters, blisters, Salivate, litigate, liberate, madness, sadness Fuck this - How long have I had this? I don't need this - Outta my business Insert, engage, betray, MY GOD FRAUD Liberate - My madness (One of me, all of you) Liberate - My madness I just want to...

im in a predicament this gy likes me but i dont like him bak and im like ew but i did kinda make out with him this one time but it suckd cuz...well i wont say y anyways i didnt do it cuz i like him i just wanted to make out with someone hey i was bored (i kno im a bitch) so i should tell him not to like me like he does cuz ima bitch i admit that im a heartbreaker and i make boiz cry i hav and i will again not intentionally cuz im not that cruel... i think but its fun honestly fun to play with guys emotions but wen they cry its just too much too much to handle i cant handle it they cant handle me noone can handle me i cant handle myself im too wild i need to slow down bak up off guys for a while its nvr gonna happn but hey i can dream and set goals but w/e tryin to get ovr past acquaintances yes thats all they...or he...were...or was just an acquaintance(s) im confusin huh well i can be cuz im confuzd myself i think i like this guy at my skool but hes just a really good frend hes my husband too and im his wife but he doesnt like me like that cuz noone evr really does they mite say they do but thats cuz they wanna make out or they just like me for my body and i dont want that well at least i dont want it all the time from evry guy cuz i hav too many im not bragging i cant brag about that cuz in the long run it sux it sux badly wen u wanna be with all of em at the same time but then one leaves and u realize that he was the only one that u evr wanted only him only one then he moves on b4 ur willing to and u cry and shut out the world cuz u can cuz u feel like it dude im talkin bout him again shutup ok ... ok thats it no more feelings or emotions or at least evn less emotions cuz i only felt one love now i feel many pain hatred jealousy sadness and of course i still feel love which sux so no more of any of that ima be emo without bein emotional cuz ther arnt emotions to show but im still emo ina way it makes sense think about it ... u done?? ok well this is the new me no emotions at all but still very emo(tional) at the same time it so makes sense it really does it makes sense to me cuz i need it to make sense to make me feel bettr and less guilty for hurtin him and others all the time gawd im sucha bitch

"All generalizations are false, including this one" -Mark Twain

nothing... nothing but empty wishes...longing for the impossible. wanting so much to be different from who i am...who i truly am. not who everyone considers me to be. mother thinks of me as a wanna-be "bad-girl", rebelling just to be the same as the other youth of my generation. my frends think of me as a girl who has been places they will not go for a long time. its getting so bad that even im beginning to wonder who i really am to be lost in the depths of my thoughts...my imagination, is all i really long for in a world where the very emotions of people are blurred, marred, and destructed to the point of no understanding...what has this generation done? to have knowledge of our destructive doings and yet not do anything to prevent the evil from spreading its wings and taking flight in our world...planting itself in our homes...how ignorant will we be? we cant afford one more mistake in this lifetime...but... sadly millions more we shall endure before the end takes its proper place in time

wats the point? for me to listen to wat u say,and not follow it anyway, is a waste waste of my time, waste of my energy... a waste of my damm life u think i hav all the time in the world to wait?? *stupid fuk* ... wats the point? for me to stay around wen all im doing in slippin away... kind of an oxymoron,no?? ur loseing me ur loseing me and u dont evn notice im lost im gone from u ... wats the point? for me to believe the lines u use wen all u do is lie lie to ur frends, lie to me u evn lie to ur fukin self ... tell me wen u stop trippin and wen u get ovr urself...and maybe we'll make up a point just to let it go... ~To: u kno who u r...and if u dont,ur evn more screwd than i thot~

this is a randm outburst but... stupid ppl (aka-fuckers) in this fuckin world get on my nervs. skool is a bitch and life is just somethin that happns to fill in a huge gap in time and the only thing anyone really does is become a pro at fucking up evry damm thing possible. the girly sluts in this world need to close their damm legs and take their litl prissy asses somewher else cuz they piss me off this next statement will make no sense but LIFE IS A WASTE OF MY LIFE no im not suicidal or anythin which mite be the way it seems i just feel really annoyed at ppl rite now...cuz of issues that come up... sometimes i wonder y ppl r all fake and y they act the same and shitt...then i finally realize its becuz theyr scared...scared that noone will like them if they act like themselves...wow...wat retards ppl r such faggs...(in my mind "fagg" means majorly stupid) maybe if...nvm o then ther r the stupidly ignorant, innocent ppl and they piss me off 2...y cant they just get ovr the fact that some things in this world...no wait...ALL things in this world r fucked up. and if the litl innocent minds of some ppl cant grasp that reality that we all live in, someway, somehow they need to adjust or get ovr it (preferrably both) how did this period of time and this generation get so screwed?? damm its screwed so hella badly, that im sure its past the point of redemption...thers no turnin back... AHHHHHHHHHHHH i feel like screamin just for fun...just to watch evryone freak out..then to see some ppl get mad... w/e fuck it fuck it all ~me~