Princess Aleash's blog: "my wish"

Current mood:sad

I dont understand how God works! But i know that he works for the best and whats best for me!  And all i know is that the California girl i have found is the best thing that has ever happend to me!  Oh sure, we havent been dating long, but there is something inside me telling me that going to Cali, away from her as hard as it may be, will make us grow closer.  i trust God and i know that this was all a part of his wonderful plan, and i thank him everday for bringing her into my life!!!   i know that the next 5 months are going to be a stuggle, but we will draw closer together and our relationship will grow stronger!  God doesnt let us off easy, He puts us through trials so that we relay on Him to get us through and therefore making our relationship with him stronger!  The same goes for my relationship... the more i trust her and the more i trust in God to help me through the hard times while i am away, my relationship will grow stronger!!    All i need now is a little help on the talking more on the phone part of things!!! LOL!!    

God Works Wonderfully!!!

 

 

found this about me...4 years later... wow... <3

so another day...running around like a crazy woman... saw someone last night that i may never see again...which is kinda hard to deal with at the moment... it was a nice goodbye....but i just wish i had one more day to spend with him...just one more time...but then i guess i would keep wishing for "just once more..." i dont think he knows how much im going to miss him...his touch..his kiss..his hugs..his laugh...all of it...if i would have never met him i would have never known love again...ya..love...it was happening..but then i had to reality check and remember he was leaving from the start...but im a girl so we never actually listen to the reality part of the brain...lol...so its gonna be tough for a while thinking about all those good times and the times i wish we could have...so idk...life is life it gets tough so i put on a helmet and i got shot in the heart...go figure

Another day has almost come and gone Cant imagine what else could wrong Sometimes Id like to hide away somewhere and lock the door A single battle lost but not the war (cause) Tomorrows another day And Im thirsty anyway So bring on the rain Its almost like the hard times circle round A couple drops and they all start coming down Yeah, I might feel defeated, I might hang my head I might be barely breathing - but Im not dead Tomorrows another day And Im thirsty anyway So bring on the rain Im not gonna let it get me down Im not gonna cry And Im not gonna lose any sleep tonight

so ya...you know when you really like someone but you cannot say anything to them for fear of rejection?or fear of falling in love...? you dont really understand what love is until you know its there...waiting for you..you can feel it breathing on you neck, you can see it in his eyes...but you have to let him go... because it just wont work..thats when you know you love someone..is when they leave and you still cant get them outta ur head...

well everyone here it is.....it is finally done with forever and ever...he broke my heart once again...but this time i knew it would happen...i had to learn for myself what love is and what love feels like when its broke... gotta say good bye, gotta pick up the pieces, gotta stop crying... hes with her now... jordin sparks got it right saying... when you put ur hand in the fire sooner or later you get what ur asking for...he doesnt want me...ya i know sucks to realize that ur not wanted by anyone, hurts feeling like trash, misery is my new name and its my game...now i loved you once i needed protection...i loved you twice...i needed a flack jacket, a m-16, and the calvary to back me up...but there you go you win... i put up my white flag...just remember you came back to me...you called me, you texted me... i apologize that i let my guard down, im sorry for the feelings that i had for you and im sorry that i loved and cared about... i was walking away from you and you roped me back in and hung me by the neck...now im dangling... the life is leaving me....im turning blue from the thought of you...i will never think of you again...and if i do it will not be of you but the memory of you.... but guess what it didnt kill me....god knows it almost did kill me... but what doesnt kill me only makes me stronger...so good bye....this is the last time i will write of you directly....you know who you are and most of the others reading this know who you are... so that is it....done forever and ever....hope you get ur happy ending cuz you left me here waiting for mine....*dont let the door hit you where the good lord split you!!*

if i had one more day on earth i would apologize to all those i hurt, i would say i love you to that special person. i would watch the sunset, have a drink with a little umbrella in it. but if i had one more day you would know how much i care about you and how much i am glad to let you go....how happy i am for you and how much i will always think of you. i would look down on you from heaven and keep you safe. i would want u to know how much you have saved me and how much you have changed me. but now im gone like yesterday im gone you cant get me back...not in this if i had one more day i would say goodbye...dont cry for me...dont miss me...get on with your life...dont think of me any more.I will always think of you i will always think of the memories that we made...the times we laughed and the times we cried. it took me so long to let you go, i sacraficed so much to finally let you go and on my last day i finall let you go....i let you go to her... if i had one more day one more time...then i would love you till my last breath then no more after that...

Laying in bed staring at the celing...thinking of you... what you smell like, your laugh, your smile...your touch... I stare at the celing and i hope pray and wish that you will be mine and i will be yours... then i realize that the reality of that may never come true... Then i start to wonder what is real and what is just an illusion.... The love i want to feel, the way i want to be held, may never come true....I may never find you, i may never get to look in to those eyes and see true love.... True love does exist...i think i have seen it...but have i felt it? As i lay in bed at night i create a place of only love...only committment, only truth. Does this place exist? this I do not know..i cannot fully understand why love avoids me, why you avoid me and why life is the way it is. I never trully loved him...i see that now....i never really expierenced love before...but i know what love is... Its the way you look at me when i walk through your door Its the way you blush when i flash you a smile Its the way you hold me when day has been to long and the night to short Its the way you love me....just plain and simple...love And now i continue to lay in bed and stare at the celing...wondering, praying, hoping, what will come of tomarrow...