Billy's blog: "MY TIME IN IRAQ"

It was a very sorrowful day for us knowing that we have lost two of our own in a wood mill fire. This comes as not shock but that is the risks that we take each day as we receive 911 calls. The funeral was straight down to the point. There was nothing out of line or anything of that nature. While at the funeral they played the taps and I lost it crying. But when the fire truk lit up with lights and siren I really lost it with several other firefighters. It was a time in my life to where I did not care who seen me crying. He was a brother to me and well my emotions are flowing. We have worked together on calls and he has always been there for me but like any other firefighter we are all like brothers. To go down the road slow with my lights flashing and seeing all kinds of people on the side of the road just made me feel good but getting to the grave yard is what got me sick.

Today is a real sorrowful day for a lot of firefighters. We have lost two brothers due to a fire at a wood mill on 03/07/2008 and they never knew it was coming. Times are hard right now and well people are taking it in different ways. I ask that you keep us firefighter's in your prayers at all times every time you pray. Remember we do this with a passion not as a job

TWO SEE MARINES DANCING IS ONE HELL OF A SITE. IF THERE IS ONE THING THAT WE CANT DO IT IS DANCE TRUST ME ON THAT. ANOTHER THING IS THAT SOME OF THE MARINES THAT DANCE ON VIDEO DO WORRY ME BUT I KNOW THEY ARE JUST PLAYING AROUND TO BE STUPID. ANYWAYS LATER

WELL I HOPE TO HAVE A COMPUTER SOMETIME THIS WEEK AND MAYBE THE INTERNET WITHIN THE MONTH. RIGHT NOW I AM JUST TAKING IT EASY AND SEEING HOW MY MONEY GOES AND THEN GO FROM THERE. THE THING IS THAT IF I HAVE A COMPUTER I DONT HAVE TO GO TO THE BUILDING TO GET ONTO THE INTERNET LOL. ANYWAYS THANKS FOR READING THIS

You know I have been told by a lot of my friends that if I would let go of the marine corps attitude that my friends would be able to help me out more and now It has hit me. I took a look a life last night while talking with a friend. It seems that people are there do care about me and everything like that it just seems like there is no way to turn around for me. But things are going at a slow pace for me and it will sooner or later pick back up to speed. I just got to thank all my friends that are on here and also all my MILITARY friends. You boys really do come in handy when a brother is down. Thanks again you all really dont know have much you have done for me

You know a time comes when a person does not know what to do in their life. Some people can handle it better and some cant. I am on of those people that cant handle it. My friends like to use me for what I have and that is about it. They also ilke to see how far they can go with me and what not without ever saying thanks. You know I bet not one of my friends would really care if I went to my truck right now and shot myself in the head. What does it take to make good friends that you can trust and talk to. I have been dealing with this for about a week and it is really kicking in. I have been thinking hard about what it would be like to shoot myself. Does anyone really really care no they dont. They say they do but dont. They may act like they do but they dont. If I was facing you right now with a gun to the side of my head what would you tell me.

I would like to take this time to let people in on what happen to me once. I was over in Iraq and we had a little free time so I was not going to give it up and wanted to take some pictures. One of my buddies told me to get on the gun and look over at the cam so that he could take the picture. After the flash went off all I heard was three shots being fired that sounded like slow motion. Without anytime passing by it felt like I was being stabbed in the right side and next thing I knew I was falling over. It took me a few seconds but it had finally come to me that I had been shot and was in need of medical help. I knew at that point with three rounds straight to the side that I was done for. But deep down inside of me there was a part of me going fight like you have never fought before. Medics and all kinds of people were out there to try and help me. It went from being a good day to a FIGHT FOR MY LIFE. Doctors and everyone else were working on me like never before. It was time against time and at that point, Death was looking me down.

Each day I want to wake up and think about how I can turn over and look at something cool. I dont have to wake up hearing the sounds of gun shots in the air or other marines yelling out commands. To be home means a lot to me and most dont understand that. My girl does and see was torn up when she got word that I had been shot three times in the side. But she knew that I was a boy that did not like to give up. It all depends on what you deal with. Each day I thank god that I am alive and sometimes even wonder why I am. Does he have a plan for me that I am not aware of yet. Does he need me to do something that I have no clue where to start. Each passing day I look at my friends and just want to cry because I am actually with them and they can talk to me in person without having to wait for me to email them