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FlamingStar's blog: "My thoughts"

created on 07/18/2009  |  http://fubar.com/my-thoughts/b303802

Cowboy named Bud

A cowboy named Bud was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture in California when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced toward him out of a cloud of dust. The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, RayBan sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window and asked the cowboy, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, Will you give me a calf?" Bud looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, Why not?" The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to his Cingular RAZR V3 cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo. The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany. Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses an MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response. Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet printer, turns to the cowboy and says, "You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves." "That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says Bud. He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on with amusement as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car. Then the Bud says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?" The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?" "You're a Congressman for the U.S. Government", says Bud. "Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?" "No guessing required." answered the cowboy. "You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You used millions of dollars worth of equipment trying to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don't know a thing about how working people make a living -- or about cows, for that matter as ½ of this is herd are sheep......... Now give me back my dog!

I Believe

Lessons in Life.... A Birth Certificate shows that we were born A Death Certificate shows that we die Pictures show that we lived! Have a seat . . . Relax . . . And read this slowly, I Believe... That just because two people argue,it doesn't mean they don't love each other. And just because they don't argue, it doesn't mean they do love each other. I Believe... That we don't have to change friends if we understand that friends change. I Believe... That no matter how good a friend is, they're going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that. I Believe... That true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance. Same goes for true love. I Believe... That you can do something in an instant that will give you heartache for life. I Believe... That it's taking me a long time to become the person I want to be. I Believe... That you should always leave loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you see them. I Believe... That you can keep going long after you think you can't. I Believe... That we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel. I Believe... That either you control your attitude or it controls you. I Believe... That heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences. I Believe ... That money is a lousy way of keeping score. I Believe... That my best friend and I, can do anything, or nothing and have the best time. I Believe... That sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you're down, will be the ones to help you get back up. I Believe... That sometimes when I'm angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel. I Believe... That maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you've had and what you've learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you've celebrated.. I Believe... That it isn't always enough, to be forgiven by others. sometimes, you have to learn to forgive yourself. I Believe... That no matter how bad your heart is broken the world doesn't stop for your grief. I Believe... That our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but, we are responsible for who we become. I Believe... That you shouldn't be so eager to find out a secret. It could change your life Forever. I Believe... Two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different. I Believe... That your life can be changed in a matter of hours by people who don't even know you. I Believe... That even when you think you have no more to give, when a friend cries out to you - you will find the strength to help. I Believe... That credentials on the wall do not make you a decent human being. I Believe... That the people you care about most in life are taken from you too soon. I Believe... That you should send this to all of the people that you believe in. "The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything..

2 Woodpeckers :)

 

 

 


Two woodpeckers,
A Mexican woodpecker and a Canadian woodpecker were in Mexico arguing about which place had the toughest trees. The Mexican woodpecker claimed Mexico had a tree that no woodpecker could peck.

The Canadian woodpecker accepted his challenge and promptly pecked a hole in the tree with no problem. The Mexican woodpecker was amazed.

The Canadian woodpecker then challenged the Mexican woodpecker to peck a tree in Canada that was absolutely 'impeckable' (a term frequently used by woodpeckers ). The Mexican woodpecker expressed confidence that he could do it and accepted the challenge.

The two flew to Canada where the Mexican woodpecker successfully pecked the so-called 'impeckable' tree almost without breaking a sweat.

Both woodpeckers were now terribly confused. How is it that the Canadian woodpecker was able to peck the Mexican tree, and the Mexican woodpecker was able to peck the Canadian tree, yet neither was able to peck the tree in their own country?

After much woodpecker pondering, they both came to the same conclusion: Apparently, your pecker gets harder when you're away from home

 

 

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