Glandular Squirt's blog: "MY SHORT STORIES"

She stared out of her dust covered window, into the garden. It once lived, she mused silently. It lived till he had died, now it is nothing but a garden of stone and thorns, a place where nothing grew anymore, nothing thrived there of beauty. He had been stolen from her, before she could ever realize how much was being taken for granted. He was her love, the only one that had walked the earth. Now, weathered and wrinkled, her only comfort was a painted picture. The painting had came from him, the one he was working in the orchard on that sad, sad day. Her painter, so talented, so young,now gone. On that day, she regretted not looking for him. She figured that he fell asleep amongst the apples and the sweet grass that he loved so. The sun blazed its circle in the sky, followed by the sun's wife, the pale faced moon and then again the morning, happy and wondrous once again. She awoke alone, frustrated that he could stay out so long and not come home. She dressed cursing him under her breath and went to look for her absent minded lover. The sun was high, but no longer beautiful, it threatened her. The birds once cheerful now scorned her. She, for the first time since they had met, really felt alone. Breaking into a cold sweat, she screamed out his name. She ran through the orchards, frantic and afraid. Then she saw him. Next to where he lay was the painting for her, his favorite brush in his cold,still hand. She knew then he was gone from her. She cursed the gods and beat on his chest. NO! Her body couldn't go on anymore, so tired she laid down next to him and kissed his cold blue lips. One solitary tear flooded her eye and escaped onto her cheek. She looked away from the grimey window to look at the painting once more. His craft, her curse. As she looks upon the painting, the fire slowly loses its life. The vibrant colors becoming more and more dim as the fire dies. Her eyes are so heavy, she just wants sleep. As the ashes from the fire grew cold she took her last breath. She finally slept and crossed the river. The Requiem

The Beach My friends and I had decided to go to a beach, we had been planning this for months. I went and bought my first bikini. I was only 15 and all my friends were jealous that I had gotten one and they still couldn't. I was so anxious to show it off. We were having a good ole' time on the beach, when one of my friends had a brilliant idea. Hey, let's dare Cougar to do something. She'll do anything!!! Yes, it's true, I will do anything dangerous, funny, death defying and downright stupid for a good laugh, to cheer up a friend and just to make sure I am not bored. My friends came up with a triple dawg dare. I couldn't refuse that, no way in the 9 circles of Hell! They dared me to bungee jump in what I had on. My pretty little bikini, with about as much decency as would a porn star in public. I thought nothing of it and accepted and off we went to pay the price of insanity. We got there, I was so excited. This was something I was wanting to do for a while. So, we paid the dude for his bungee services and he graciously accepted our money, while looking at my boobs and pondering whether or not I was worth the time in jail. Haha! Nope!! Waiting in Line: The Countdown to Blast Off So, here I am waiting in line for almost and hour. It suddenly dawned on me that I had to pee like a Russian race horse in the Kentucky Derby. I stayed calm, and looked around for my friends to see if they were close enough to hold my spot. Nope!!!! It was then, I realized that I was next in line to jump. Oh shit!!! So, I tapped the bungee dude on the shoulder and asked if I had time to pee. Nope he replied to my tits and jerked his thumb up to this fat chick already jumping. I was next! So, I told myself to be brave, hold it and after this I could go find a porcelain throne to offer my liquid gold. Turns out, I didn't even have to do that..... The Jump: Bladder Blast Off and the Photo Opportunity of the Century Once I was harnessed in, I looked over the 200 foot high ledge and squeezed my legs together and told my bladder to STFU. Then, Dude told my tits I was a go. I took a deep breath, steeled myself and jumped face first into the crowd. The free fall was wonderous, but then the inevitable happened. As the adoring multitudes gazed upon me with awed countenances, my bladder mistook their adoration for thirst. Upon them I rained golden assurances and blessings. People laughed, babes screamed, prissy bitches yacked and heaved, and retards pointed and I turned as red as Mars soaked in red ink. You all know how a bungee cord works, it stretches to its limits then snaps back up. So, now that I am sure of you being able to picture this horrid event I wll proceed. When I was done relieving my bladder on the pissed soaked, each crowd, the bungee snapped back up and yanked me into oblivion. So much into oblivion, that I wasn't aware of the renewed screams, hard on's, pointing and peals of laughter. That's right folks, my boobs had decided to make their appearence. So, helpless to save my self from further embarrassment, I let my boobs do their tap dance. There, now you know the story of The Beach Babe's Bungee Bathroom Break with Boobs!!! The End!!! ( Thank the Gods!)