Patti Mouse's blog: "My poetry"

Some memories stain the mind, Blood red like innocence left behind. Dreams of the broken pass To nothing in a careless word, As the past sneaks up And steals all Joy away. Peace of mind never settles On those of darkened heart. Some memories stain the soul with a ghostlike glow….

dreaming of weaving myself into A free flowing truth, A being without memory Without pain. No hatred to block me, no curiosity to propel me. just ever flowing on an endless cloudy sea of peace and forgetfulness to blank an overburdened and deeply bruised heart. Wishing for that end that will never be knowing that for me, The dreaming is all I have to carry me. A pain without hope drags eternal through What might have been…..

a thought in mind, of a life left behind. a song blinding me, with lyrics that share a broken soul. feeling surprise that another feels the pain within, I find myself looking towards divinity. where is the cheer and the innocent fear? the hope and dreams Fall away leaving behind cynicism and regret. are all things old being done again? a unending cycle of pain and fear going on year after year Or is the music that is speaking to my broken heart not from truth but from someone’s thoughts loose in their head?

Morbid and depressing you say Is all that I write For me the words only leak what it is I feel. I am happy enough Living my life, Climbing over the heartache And misery to find out what is real. I wish I knew how to write love poems With flowers and charm, Poems about babies or Even a limerick to cheer. I write what I know, What I have seen. I write for to ease a Troubled mind, I write to try and leave it All behind. Yet in my happiness with this talent i found, the loneliness. For though my critics have No talent of their own, Since my poems are my heart Open and laid bare, The slices cut deep.

The past is a cage with steel bars that bind. Something I once thought I could leave completely behind. A never ending loop pulling my soul from down below, deep deep below. A stigma placed upon me one that follows A consitant plan. I survived, it made me Who I am But who I was brands me, belittles me, makes me seem the monster I swore I could not be. Abused equals abuser in the eyes of the law, Yet an angel was I given to soothe a broken soul. Never an unkindness could I bear to give her, Never a harm could I do her. Because I survived I am labeled dangerous to her. A system that ignored me Now must force me into following its every Minute command. Her best interests be damned. She still needs me, and she needs the strength that is so very hard won, But for her I fight an uphill battle that seems lost before it is Onset.

what is wrong with me mother that you cannot love me? why when i speak to you do i always end up crying? i look at others, both child and grown, Then I feel most the loss of a mothers love. what is wrong that i cannot see, that you turn from me for? I am mother now. I look at my girl my bright pretty baby, with such sunshine in her eyes. My angel who everyone Says looks so much like me, I wonder what is wrong with you? You say you care yet you will not speak to me Without cruelty. You turned from the child You labeled mistake. I do not see where That mistake is me. what was done can never be undone, and the past is dead So why does it hurt so much to know That you don’t love me mother?

When out my door You went before, I always knew We’d make it through. You’d return to fix My broken heart And to dry my River of tears. Yet, I suspect, That this time You won’t be coming back. So I’ll float this river On my ship called heartache. Though the pain Seems to go on forever, I’ll find a way to make it through. As friends, we were Never far apart. As lovers, we only Seemed to be apart. Yet, still I hold you Always in my heart.

asking her will do no good, for she will not know what to say, she does not want to die... no what she wants can never come to be, she wants to have never been born. her tears fall unheeded and no one sees the pain contained within. the pain is more than her broken soul can bear. what a sad little vision is she, a child whom has never known love. she knows what she’s missing, but doesn’t know how to find it. a broken child, innocence lost... an injured soul whose cries go unheard.

Fly On the neverending Wings of love. In your freedom Soar thru life, With me at Your side. Float On love’s gentle And boundless grace. Remain true Till love brings You safely to the other shore. Sail On love’s warm And eternal hope. Find strength in being So vulnerable. Grow On love As together We can Find forever.

Tall walls surround me Blocking my only escape. Your love had set me free And taught me how to fly. Your dreams taught my heart How to dream again. You swore we’d ne’er part, Once we joined together. Now I stand so alone Without you at my side. You told me I was home, Then quietly you asked for me to leave.