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Sheli's blog: "My poetry"

created on 10/04/2006  |  http://fubar.com/my-poetry/b10171

Why?

Why did you call last night? Why did you have to tell me you still missed me? Why did you tell me you still loved me? Why did you tell me I was still in your dreams You told me that you be here if you could.. But your not You told me you still loved me but your married to her You told me that you wished you could see me but you wont You told me you love the fact that we lasted 3yrs but I have been married for 10 You tell me that you've never forgotten me but this isnt real You tell me you will alwys be there if I need you but I know that a lie You tell me you love the fact that we took so long to get to where we were But I know you wished we had gotten their alot sooner... But Why? Why did you call? Why did you have to bring this back up..Now it will take me so much longer to let go of you again. It took me so much to forget that I will always love you.. WHy?

Just thoughts

Every day brings soemthing new... I wish that everyone knew How easy it is to forget what really is important The health of my family, The sound of the their laughter. Their smile and their tears. The loss of a friend deeply cuts Even if you dont know them well. It reminds you to say I love you and mean it. When you meet someone new, that makes you smile and remind you how to have fun and stay young.

Fantasy

I cant help but see your eyes in my dreams. Your voice rings thru my heart. Your touch heals my skin. The day hasnt started Until I hear your voice. The night hasnt ended until you say good night. I replay our coversations in my mind over and over again. I want to act my age not my circumstance. You make me feel like dancing on stage, Like I can forget my world. You never promised me change. But your a breathe of fresh air. You ask me questions that have brought me back to life. You have given me a new joy. Something to looke forward to. You make me smile and feel so special. Like it just you and me . Like I am living my fantasy.

End is near

Lead the way.. I may just follow to see which way we go. Right or wrong? Who knows for how long? It is temporary, Its just a passing thing, maybe even a very short fling. Don't worry if the end is near. Its really OK, with me my dear. I just don't want an awkward stance. Between 2 new friends with every passing glance. You have become a very good friend which I don't want to loose. But the time may come when we both have to choose. You are a nice guy, who if you didn't feel the way you do. Could never be my friend. That is true. So don't worry about hurting me. I can handel most anything. I have been hurt and crushed until I was no more. But now I am stronger Than ever before.

What I really feel

Crazy, Out of control Is this really me? Head over Heels.. What do I seek? Something totally new? Out of the usual? A new touch a new caress I think its you! But OH NO! What can we do? Your with her, I am with him. What can we begin? It seems the feeling is truly mutual, Much to my surprise. We don't want to hurt the ones we love. But we want to see what may arise. Your embrace is tender and sweet. Oh how can I not surrender to this guilty treat?

To my girls

When you were born I knew my family was complete. Lani, you were first. A wiggle worm from the start. You never stopped moving. You are so sweet and loving. Your all heart and cuddles. Naty, you are my baby and my squeaker. Loud and Independent. Cool and collected. You both make me feel so Privledged to be your mother. My schedule makes it hard for me to say these things everyday. I want you both to always know that I love you. From the moment you were a twinkle in my eye to forever. Lani, smile more. Naty, slow down. I wish I were here every night to tuck you in. I miss that the most. I do have all my days with you But they are so rushed...Off to school you go. Soon it will be different and we will be home together more often. Forgive me for all the things I have done wrong. All I know is I love you and no one can change that forever more.

Smile

Time draws near to say goodbye You are starting a new life So far away from what it used to be I wish you love and happiness Because I love you Tears will fall on that day When I turn and walk away I wont try to hide the pain Of losing you You may not believe this today But it is true. I have never lied to you I wish you love and happiness Because I love you I know this is for the best for both of you Remember that if you need me I am here waiting with open arms. Because I love you. When you need a hug, remember to smile and what that means. Someone out there loves you and always will I have said it before I wish you love and happiness Because I love you

Still yours..

Something about those eyes caught me. They took me away from reality. You said it something supernatural. I say its an addiction! I cant think about it because it will make me sad. But I know that what we have, also makes me strong. I want to keep seeing you, I want to keep hearing your voice whisper to me at night. I do not want to let you go, But I know I have to. That's why I haven't asked those questions. I really don't think I wanted to know the answers. But now that I do, I wonder what's next. Do we continue what we know is wrong? Hurting other people? I know why I am doing this, personally. You can walk away if you wanted to and not hurt anyone but me... But you still haven't. Addicted I come back for more. But now I know that I will lose you sooner than later. Until then I still want to be yours...

Too Hard to let go..

Two years and counting,two years too long. An affair that should have never lasted, never been started. Colleagues first, friends then more. Summer nights and Cigarette breaks. See each other, in passing, daily in our business suits. Wrong from the start but too hard to say no. Try to close the door but one of us, just re-opens it. Weeks go by and were done, but as soon as we get a glimpse. The need for you is great, too hard to fight. Midnight phone calls and Valentine rooms. We've tried before but that never lasts for long. Hot and heavy Sweet and Sensitive. Months have gone by but everyday still a glimpse of your name. Outside life is busy, complicated and overwhelming. Here, I am a woman and your lover. Your a man and my lover. I knew this day was coming. Now, your saying your "I Do". And I need to say good-bye. But you make it too hard. We say its over, again and again. we have to do the right thing. Yet another midnight phone call,lasts for hours and hours. "I miss you" you said and I agreed. "I wish I could see you," you said and I agreed. "I will always love you" you said and I agreed. You never meant to hurt me, this I know. Happiness is my only wish for you. Now I say..Part of me you will always be. Now its just too hard to let go.

Meant to be..

11 years and counting, Since you turned my way. Just ended up on my door stop, That one summer day. From that day I always knew, it would only be you. Sometime I forget, why and how we fell. Life is so hard, days fly by.. Some without us even saying hello or good-bye You work days,I work nights. The kids always with us, every single day. All by choice, it is hard work. Sometimes I forget, why and how we fell. Then I look into your eyes and it all rushes back to me. We were always meant to be.
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