suicidewolf92's blog: "My poems"

you say you know what I went thru you say you felt the same way you say your sorry you put me thought it all... but you weren’t the one that was bleeding laying silently on the floor crying for the pain to end but pain only came more you weren’t the one that sat crying on a back porch step unknown you weren’t the one left out in the rain, when nobody’s ever home I waited for years and years more mom for you to see what was happening to me but even now you don’t see the full truth that I've blocked so far from my memory I’m begging you Don’t leave me here crying just yet but you jut left again you say all the pain will be over soon but you listen to much to the lies you don’t realize I'm dying inside you say you felt the same pain but you didn’t even feel half Don’t you know what I went thru? All those years I faked a laugh don’t you see what I did to myself? dying on the cold floor bleeding behind the house the knife in my dresser and one under my pillow weapons of destruction I caused smash my head against the back wall nothing but my vision ceased now I’m laying here crying waiting for you to realize I’m still dying But you'll never listen to me this isn’t just a note to you mom, but to everyone else that knows Or thought they knew… Wont someone come thru… And save me Now you try to protect me Everyone of you that never realized I exist But a simple look in my eyes Will show you what I hide All the pain that’s left… Or was left I’m dead inside I died the day you left You never came back for me And you still haven’t yet I hope you realize Life means nothing more I’m lying dead, on that cold bedroom floor you cant save me now

I'm sorry my love I didn't mean for it to end again I know you love me And I feel the same way But I just can't trust I see the pain in your eyes I know you want the truth But why I can't trust, my lips will never repeat you just must beilive me ...come back to me... I'm sorry it ended In this I write Perhaps I could end all my pain At the blade of the knife.... Gabriel, I love you Don't tell me this is good-bye

Revenge of a black rose (a boys story untold) until the darkness cease to end all that begins shall end again.... In a solemn line they now stand morning the death of a once life filled man but yet none of them neither friend nor foes will never know the truth that his grave beholds within this coffin lies the truth of beat, of rape, and harmful abuse and this one young boy he just wanted to fit in but never again never again... Here in the rain outside his window I’ll wait but never again shall I see his sweet face because of a step father who simply didn’t care and a blood father who promised he would always be there and in his final moments we all heard him call out his plea for life but the boy never said a word and it all ended that night... I’ll never forget you my friend you never deserved for it to end so early so I place a single black rose on your grave I promise to you your revenge I will keep save me a place in heaven, because we were meant to be...

Pain pain is constant inside and out it’s like lost In the silence lost in doubt though pain cannot be mistaken and never replaced it cannot be helped because it never leaves a trace in fatality it leaves in our final moments when all we wish to cry about it’s the broken shards we’ve left behind life is meaningless with pain because there’s nothing left to fell with no feeling of life nothing can be real