that handsome black guy's blog: "my life"

Now That I’m 27, not really looking forward to heaven. My soul feel dead, like I never been alive. So maybe when I die, I well finally be alive. If loving is healing and hating is killing, Then what is being broken? Maybe it is when the heart feel the healing of  love, then feel pain of losing the love. Maybe why I feel dead inside or broken from being alone. Oh boy who we live your lives, with silly things that we try to feel so alive. 

Even tho I'm stall alive a day over 25. From the time I was alive. Love fall from the the sky. What I was in your eyes. The kool guy with a smile, the kiss from your lips always wet with all the love that you showed. The fun we ever had from the days when I was a kid. The days when no care with no kiss or smile. All I had was friends but no girl. Wishing why I had to be born into a world that everyone belittle me over looks or smarts. When I thought I had the one. Through the day she was playing with my heart. Saying that we was more just then friends. It all came out as I was just a friend that she was just playing with. And now that I have some one better. That I love and care for. This little boy just want to give his heart alway.

But I know when she say we are just friends.

A true Story about a man that nothing to live for.

 ”Hell found me” I said as I lay on the floor of this run down apartment.
 Stall feeling the pain and hit from the night before running through me. Looking up from the floor with darkness and hot summer’s night air surrounded me, holding me to the floor like a Sumo is on

top of me. I shake me head to clear it from the weighed down like feeling. I struggled to get on my feet, standing upright with my head down. I ran my hand through my hair bring my head up with the

pain of last night.

earlier that day

 ”James what the fuck are you doing here!” my baby’s momma said screaming at me.
 ”coming to see my son” I said trying to walk in the door.
 ”the hell you are!” she shouted at me with her finger in my face.
 ”come on get your finger out of my face and let me see my son” I said again trying to walk by her as she stand in the doorway with her hands on her hips.
 ”we need to talk” she said letting me in.
 ”you have to give me some kind of money, your his father!”she said looking at me with her big ass eyes.

 I stop walking and turned around and said ”Marry you I don’t have any money”.
 ”Well your son can’t live on you just seeing him where ever you feel like coming over.”
 I toke a deep breath and handed over five dollars to her.

 ”It’s a start” she said as she toke the money.
“i known you had something” she added
 I just walked away to my son’s room to play with him.
 ”daddy!” he said very happy to see me.
 ”what Happen to your face?” he asked
 ”daddy ran into some people that didn’t like him” I replied.
 Have a flashback of six guys walking up to me with two of them holding baseball bats.
 ”where is the money you own me” asked one of the guys.
“yeah where is John money” his friend asked me.

 ”I don’t have it” I answered.
 two of the guys penned me to a wall holding me back with my arms out.
 John and his friend stayed where they was at as the last two became look outs.
 ”so you think that your not going to pay back what you own” John said.
 ”I’m going to make your life a living Nightmare, you well be calling out for god” John continue.
 ”but god well not help you, because he don’t care about dope heads like you” John said poking me in the face with the bat as his friend next to him laughing at my pain.

 ”You know I’m not going to hit you, I’m going to let my boys kick your ass” John said as he walked away.

 ”boys show him why we call our self the hell found me boys” said John as look back with a evil smile.

 beating me half to death with their bats and kicking the shit out of face and body for it seem to for hours.
 When they was done i was left for dead, I was broken and was in a lot of pain. Crying for help but no one wanted to stop, they walk by me. Tears ran off my face as I tyred to get up under my own

power. Realizing that I may not make it back home to my darkened run down apartment. Tears stall ran down my face mixing with the blood from my cuts on my cheeks.

 I don’t know how I made it back home. Just to think that was two days ago.
 ”daddy your crying” my son said pulling me back to from my flashback.
 ”sorry daddy was thinking of that time, it is nothing Sam I don’t want you to think about it” I said trying to get him to play with his toys.
 We played for hours on end into Marry told me that I had to go. Walking out the door she said to me ” you need to get off of that stuff your on, you want your son to grow up with a punk for a

father”
That was something I really didn’t need to hear, not at this time.

 walking home I just happen to see a gun in the trash. I pick it up and put it in pants to take it home. Some people well take the gun and shoot the six guys that hurt them,no not me i have another

reason for it, reasons that take me back to now. Standing in a darken run down apartment hold a gun in my hand. walking over the chair that is out of the moon light. Some how hearing kings of Leon

revelry playing in my head. As i sat in my chair and put the gun to my head, I once more thought back on the life I had and what I did on way to now. Childhood to being a preteen, playing with my

friends in the woods behind the house at my Mom and dad’s. Acting like I going to war with my bee bee gun as my friends follow me. To sneaking out my room after dark to chill with my best friends

as a teen and that first kiss with the girl i liked. The birth of my son Sam, my first apartment with Marry and my son Sam home for the first time. Are going to be gone because i don’t want to live

with the pain of losing them, Tears run down my eyes as I uncover an note from the night before and said my last words “hell found me” as I pulled the trigger.

 The end……..

I'm the Type that get my heart broken
I'm the type to get upset and cry
cause I always keep my heart open
Relationships gets gets way to deep for me
never got the whole love thing down
and someone can say they love me truly
I don't belive
My mind is gone
I'm spinning round
i'm losing my grip, this is how i feel
I felt I was just a victim
And it cut me like a knife
When she walk out of life
now I got this condition and i got all
the symptoms of a boy with a broken heart
but no matter what you'll never see me cry
cause it's hurting me to let you go
was it when we first kissed
Maybe cause we spent so much time

Life with a sweet smile....



far off and a sunny kingdom of Searsen, There live nice and happy town's people that live there

life in happiness into one day when an out sider came to town. no one known what was going to

happen to their happy little lifes.

Darkness came and a all black figure walked down the street and stoped at the end watching the

ladies of the night work.

"oh oh fuck me fuck me" she said.
"yeah! oh oh yeah! you like that?" the John said.

The figure walked over to them very slowly.

"hey buddy if you want some, you have to wait your turn after i'm done!" the john said stall

hitting it.

"no I don't want her" the Figure said in a whisper.

"then what do you want then?" the john said.

A evil laugh came over the Figure and said "the both of you!" as he grab the lady by the neck and

impale her with his sword.

"what the fuck man she was only 14 years old! and i was getting off on that!" the john said.

"well you can stall get off" the Figure said picking up the girl by the neck like she was toy.

"What? how, you killed her and i'm not fucking a dead woman!" he said.

Again the Figure laughted and said "yes you are, or I kill you."
 
The John pined her to the wall where they was having sex at. And started to go to town on her as

the Figure watched.

"are you done yet?" The figure yelled.

"almost" he said.

as soon as he was done The figure grab him by the head and smash his head into the wall with all

of his force.

The Figure bent down and toke the girl by the neck again, this time he toke his time and cut off

all of her inter and pulled them out. biting her jaw off with his teeth as a tradmark.





The very next day, The town people saw what happen and wanted something to be done.
So they sent out the guards to watch the night. That night the gates of hell well open once

again.

The darken Figure apper once again. This time The figure found a guard helpping an old find his

way home.

The Gurad notice something coming at him, but it was to late. The Figure had the guard and the

old man by neck and was moving them to the old man's house. Kicking down the door and throing

them down. The Figure tld the guard to fuck the old man in the ass then kill him slowly. The

guard didn't want to do it and try to pay off the figure to go away. But it wasn't happening, The

Figure force The guard on to the old man and made him do it. The pain on the old man face was

something that you well never want to see. Then The figure the guard up and handed him the

guard's own sword to kill the old man with.

"no no, he is my father" said the guard.

"so, take his life or I well take yours" said the figure.

"then take it! I have no more to live for now" said the Guard.

the figure toke the sword of his hands and strike the guard in his head.

for the old man, He was demember alive and got eating by wolfs.




The next day, seeing not even a guard can stop the attacker from killing people. they sent out

for kights to stop the attack from happening. The last and final attack.

As a family was walking down a dark wooded path, a beast like figure walk toward them. The fther

of the family walk up ahead of the family to keep them protected. As they walked the beast

started to disapper. so the father slowed to to wait for his family, only two walk to his side.

His little girl and his 5 month old baby.

"what happen to my family!" the father asked.

"they died" the little girl said As a figure apper before the father.

The father attack the figure but it was to late, his head cut off.

"you did good" The figure told the little girl as it toke the baby from the girl's arm. It put

the baby on the ground and step on it head then kick it to the side like it was nothing.

"I'm going to let you live" the figure said as it show it's demon face.







The end!!!!         

by Jamar Humphries

note never been edited yet!

I'm on the corner
Waiting for a light to come on
That's when I know you're alone
It's cold in the desert
Water never sees the ground
Special unspoken without sound

You told me you loved me
That I'd never die alone
Hand over your heart
Let's go home
Everyone noticed
Everyone has seen the signs
I've always been known to cross lines

I never ever cried
When I was feeling down
I've always been scared of the sound
Jesus don't love me
No one ever carried my load
I'm too young to feel this old
Here's to you
Here's to me
On to us nobody knows
Nobody sees
Nobody but me

What a night for a dance, you know I'm a dancing machine
With the fire in my bones and the sweet taste of kerosene
I get lost in the light so high don't wanna come down
To face the loss of the good thing that i have found

Woo hoo hoo
Woo hoo hoo

In the dark of the night I can hear you calling my name
With the hardest of hearts I still feel full of pain
So I drink and I smoke and I ask you if *you're* ever around
Even though it was me who drove us right in the ground

See the time we shared it was precious to me
But all the while I was dreaming of revelry

Gonna run baby run like a stream down a mountainside
With the wind at my back I won't ever even bat an eye
Just know it was you all along who had a hold of my heart
But the demon and me was the best of friends from the start

So the time we shared it was precious to me
All the while I was dreaming of revelry
Dreaming of revelry

And I told myself for the way you go, it rained so hard it felt like snow
Everything came tumbling down on me
In the back of the woods in the dark of the night
Palest of the old moonlight
Everything just felt so incomplete

Dreaming of revelry
Dreaming of revelry
Dreaming of revelry
Dreaming of revelry

Spend all your time waiting
For that second chance
For a break that would make it okay
Theres always one reason
To feel not good enough
And its hard at the end of the day
I need some distraction
Oh beautiful release
Memory seeps from my veins
Let me be empty
And weightless and maybe
Ill find some peace tonight

In the arms of an angel
Fly away from here
From this dark cold hotel room
And the endlessness that you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage
Of your silent reverie
Youre in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort there

So tired of the straight line
And everywhere you turn
Theres vultures and thieves at your back
And the storm keeps on twisting
You keep on building the lie
That you make up for all that you lack
It dont make no difference
Escaping one last time
Its easier to believe in this sweet madness oh
This glorious sadness that brings me to my knees

In the arms of an angel
Fly away from here
From this dark cold hotel room
And the endlessness that you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage
Of your silent reverie
Youre in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort there
Youre in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort here

http://sportales.com/football/why-picman-but-not-michael/

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