Cotton's blog: "My Life"

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A guy is hiking up a mountain when he sees a girl standing at the edge of a cliff, crying. "Hey," he says, "if you're going to jump, how about giving me a blow job before you do it?" "My life's been nothing but crap," says the girl. "So I might as well." After the girl's done, the guy says, "Wow, that was great! Why are you so depressed, anyway?" The girl replies, "My family disowned me for dressing like a woman."

"Just some guy" you see me as just some guy, walking down the street, maybe i look familiar to you, though im certain you and i will never be. i have a blank, empty heart, that you could never understand, filled with raining floods of tears, bruised, broken, torn and ripped apart. if you could help me please, to remember those little things, that made me a fantastic soul, to be a man with you completely whole. lost and confused, wandering down my lonely street, i never saw you coming, though finally we meet. for a moment you see me, as just some guy with an invisible wall, and slowly, gently as we talk, my invisible cracked wall begins to shatter and fall. i can feel your whisper of life, drying my tear filled heart, overshadowing the pain and hurt, replacing it with your spectacular embrace. as it all comes back to me, i can finally begin to see, you have come into my life, and swept me off my feet. thinkin of you is overwhelming, knowing you is a blessing, and as i raise my hands, im dazed to think that you could be the one. so as we conversate day to day, my heart begins to flutter, like the beggining of life in a newborn butterfly, i know i will never again be "just some guy."

the longest relationship ive ever had is 4 1/2 years it ended on Jan. 7th, 2005 well what you need to know is that i have a son whos name is Matthew Randell Ivey now i know for a fact that there is noone on myspace that can tell you about it, nor is there any information on my page that can fill you in on this info he would be 3 this november, his life was taken at birth he had a hole in his heart, that wasnt known about, and there was nothing tha could be done to help him well, his mother and i continued ofcourse to be together till last Jan. i was working at Boeing at the time, as a security gaurd, working 3rd shift she was and still goes to una while i was working new years eve, she went to a frat party and had sex with some guy, who i have no idea of the identity of, and dont really care because i was always, it seemed at the time, at work, i didnt see her again untill the 7th i brought her lunch, we ate, then went back to her dorm room well, having been together for 4 1/2 years, and on the edge me asking the question in a few days, we had sex, after we were finished some time later, she starts telling me everything that happend on new years eve, i didnt catch her, and noone else told me, she did i asked why? out of mind i asked why? she proceeds to inform me because i had a hole in my heart when i was born, it was the same reason he son wasnt alive, and that i robbed her of the blessing of being a mother and she wanted to be a mother bad enough, though not with me, she thought shed do the next best thing and have one anyways without my help but she still wanted to be with me so she tells me tha everything should be fine, because" she didnt enjoy it, and it didnt feel good!!" after that she wants to have sex again at about 3:25 pm, Jan 7th, 2005, i walked out of her una dorm room in boxer-briefs, army boots, and my hat, carrying everything else, to my truck and havent seen or talked to her since