279312's blog: "My Life"

I have met several people on here, and started to talking to them. I have explained my situation to a few, but I feel that all of my friends, even those who could care less, should have the knowledge, if they desire. On the evening of August 16, 1997; me and my best friend were out bowling. It came time to leave, so we loaded our bowling stuff into his car. We ended up sitting in the parking lot a few minutes, so I sat on the trunk of his car. He didn't realize that I was sitting on the trunk of his car, and he pulled off. I made it about 100 yards before I slid off. When I slid off, I landed on the back of my head, causing me to immediately lose consciousness. My friend ran inside the bowling alley and called 911. After that he called my mom and said "Jonathan has been in an accident and won't wakeup." Within a few minutes, my parents arrived, but the Fire Dept and EMS was already there. They transferred me to the hospital. Two CAT scans were take and it looked as if my brain had exploded. It actually hadn't exploded, but it had shifted to the front of my head, causing this appearance. On the third day in the hospital, dr's had to remove part of my brain, due to the shifting of the brain. The part of the brain removed was the "frontal lobe." I was unconscious for 17 days. Upon waking up, and being semi-responsive; I was transferred to another hospital for rehabilitation. I was in rehab for 5.5 weeks, where I had to relearn all the basic things in life, that people take for granted (ie: walking, talking, eating, going to the bathroom, dressing, etc...). After the time in rehab, I went home. I had a home school teacher for the remainder of that semester, and I actually returned to school for one class. The second semester that year, I returned to school for two classes and continued to have two classes as home school. The second semester in my junior year, I was inducted into the National Honor Society where I graduated. Every day, I take time to thank God that I am still here today after all of the things that have happened to me in my past. I hope everyone that reads this will better understand me. Thanks for your time The frontal lobe is an area in the brain of mammals. It is located at the front of each cerebral hemisphere and positioned anterior to (in front of) the parietal lobes and above and anterior to the temporal lobes. It is separated from the parietal lobe by the primary motor cortex, which controls voluntary movements of specific body parts associated with the precentral gyrus. The frontal lobe reaches full maturity around age 25, marking the cognitive maturity associated with adulthood. Arthur Toga, UCLA, found increased myelin in the frontal lobe white matter of young adults compared to that of teens. Typical onset of schizophrenia in early adult years correlates with poorly myelinated and thus inefficient connections between cells in the fore-brain. The frontal lobe contains most of the dopamine-sensitive neurons in the cerebral cortex. The dopamine system is associated with pleasure, long-term memory, planning, and drive. Dopamine tends to limit and select sensory information arriving from the thalamus to the fore-brain. A report from the National Institute of Mental Health says a gene variant that reduces dopamine activity in the prefrontal cortex is related to poorer performance and inefficient functioning of that brain region during working memory tasks, and to slightly increased risk for schizophrenia. The executive functions of the frontal lobes involve the ability to recognize future consequences resulting from current actions, to choose between good and bad actions (or better and best), override and suppress unacceptable social responses, and determine similarities and differences between things or events. The frontal lobes also play an important part in retaining longer term memories which are not task-based. These are often memories associated with emotions derived from input from the brain's limbic system. The frontal lobe modifies those emotions to generally fit socially acceptable norms. Psychological tests that measure frontal lobe function include Finger tapping, Wisconsin Card Sorting Task, and measures of verbal and figural fluency.

Why again do I care so much about people yet whenever I turn around, it seems like the people nearest me that should care about me don't? I try and do any and everything for people around me as often as I can. I notice when people are upset and something seems wrong. So why is it that when I have feelings that are like those, no one can sense them? Is it because I have gone for so long without letting people see what gets to me? If someone is your "friend," shouldn't they notice when you are upset or something is wrong? Why is it so hard to find someone in the world today that you can call a "true friend"? Is it because everyone is so concerned with themselves that they don't give a crap about anyone else? If you look at it like that, it makes a lot of sense. Where are the people that are supposed to be there for you when you are down and not feeling well either physically or emotionally? If they do exist, why are they never in the same locale that you are?

Why is it that you see someone who seems to have a problem within their life and you try to help them, or they say something or post something that gets your attention and you try to show them a different side of what they have going on and you always end up on the crap end of it? Well, tonight I saw someone floating across the screen with a status that said "Looking for one guy to prove they aren't all the same." So me being a very genuine and understanding guy, who is not like any guy that anyone will ever meet; I attempt to show them that there is a guy unlike any other. So as I attempt to show a little compassion to the situation laid out by this person, they have to go take care of their child, so I sit and wait for them to come back. As I attempt to be a friend and show her that I am unlike any guy, and there is someone different than the rest; out of nowhere she comes off and says that she is going to go back out with her ex. At this point I am like so why am I trying to prove that there is anyone different? This really gets old, because all I do is try to make people happy. With the head injury I sustained 11 years ago, I have that aura about me. All I do is strive to make people happy, and then in the end I always end up unhappy. I wish there was something I could do about it, or that I could stop caring so much, but that is impossible. I have always been a caring and loving individual. When someone so caring and genuine tries to show compassion, why is it turned away more often than not? Why is it that I care so much about people, and get hurt more than not? It is because that is the kind of person I am. I am willing to go out and do whatever I can to make you happy, regardless of how it is going to affect me.

So yesterday (well, tuesday) a new Scratch off lottery ticket was released here. I had spoken with my parents and together we were going to buy a whole roll. So last saturday I saw my mom and she gave me their half of the money. The guy who was going to sell me the tickets got them a day early, so I was able to get them tuesday instead of wednesday. So we had made plans for me to catch a ride over near where my mom works. She picked me up and took me back to their house. When we got there, my dad was in a whatever type mood, and my mom asked when he wanted to scratch them off and he was like "let's go on." So we did, and got back 2/3s of what was spent. So my dad wanted to reinvest their half of the money. My mom and I went to a nearby gas station and traded back the tickets that had won. I am kinda hurting for money right now, so I got money back for my half, while they got more tickets. We took the second group of tickets back and scratched them off. The second group won another $200, and I looked at my dad and said I am glad you both got your money back and he said "no, we were in this together." Then out of nowhere my mom jumps in saying "Oh no, he got his money back and put it in his wallet, this is ours." What kind of message does that send and how do you think it would make someone feel saying that kind of stuff to them, especially when it is family??

General things about me: Favorites: Color: Green Food: Italian, Japanese, Chinese, Mexican (no not all mixed) Movie: Anything with Adam Sandler in it Music: Hip hop, R&B, Rock, Alternative, Some Old Rock TV Show: Spongebob or anything Nickelodeon Sports To Watch: Football Sports To Play: Bowling, billiards ANYTHING ELSE, just ASK!

Well, it has been ten years since my tragic accident. I have learned alot of things about myself and others in the past 3652 days. Yes, it was a very bad thing that happened, but in the end it all boils down to the fact that I am here today. There is a reason that I am here, and I am still on the journey to find it. If you are interested in reading the whole story, read the blog found at this link: http://www.fubar.com/blog/11497/33165 Thanks for reading this if you take the chance. Hope you have a great day!!"

The part of the brain that was removed (frontal lobe), controls many necessary emotional functions. I can not handle when people lie to me. If someone says that they are going to do something, and then don't, it gets to me. Also, I can not handle when people play me, especially women. Not saying that I am gay, but a guy could use me by taking advantage of how generous I am. I also misunderstand alot of things that people say, when they are joking. I do not recognize that they are joking, and take it personally. If someone informs me that they are joking, before they get too deep into something, I can understand. If a female lies to me, and acts like they want me, and then turn around and don't want anything to do with me, it hurts me so bad emotionally, that I go into a deep depression. If I had the part of the brain that was removed, I would be able to handle these things, like most normal people; but I am missing it, so I can't Hope this information helps you to better understand me and my situation