So I'm sitting outside work with my Sergeant having a smoke when one of the inmates we had just released starts to walk past. ( I work in a correctional facility for the record) He stopped a few feet away and seemed to hesitate for a moment before turning around to address us.
"I just have to give y'all a little bit of advice"
(at this point I'm thinking that this asshole is going to say 'You need to burn this damn jail to the ground' or 'The food here sucks, get a cook'... something like that)
So I gaze at him with the look reserved for people who bother me while I'm on my break and my Sergeant just sighs and lights another one up, probably preparing to cuss at this guy and tell him to get on down the road.
The man hesitates again, tells us he's been in Federal Custody for going over two years and then says "Here's the advice... never, ever, ever fuck with the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms"
That was about one of the funniest, truest bits of advice that I've ever been given. I handed the man a smoke and wished him well.
Sometimes I actually have a good time at work :P