Mr Wolfie's blog: "my dark days!"

4:39AM and I cannot sleep, my mind keeps focusing on my live and just how far away we are… it’s like a cold blade is slowly piercing my heart. As if that was not bad enough I keep getting flashes of all the women I have loved and lost and my heart just feels so empty until my love belle comes to mind than I smile knowing that I am loved.

Funny thing about my mind is just how perverted it really is "insert maniacal laughter" not just that though it’s also dark, the horrors my mind is capable to pull out of the darkness is amazing.

What's more amazing is how I have not lost my mind or succumbed to the darkness.

I'm lying in my dark room listening to linkin park as I write all this dren out.

My eyes feel heavy,

My chest fells cold,

My mind won’t silence,

So much noise,

So much unfelt pain.

I never… no that's a lie I have always loved the feel of a blade against my skin something about the texture of the metal threatening to slip past the surface and release the warmth hidden within.

I think I am going to stop here and try and force myself to sleep. Good night.

Hello and I am MrWolfe and I am part of a guild that runs on here and on so many other games and sites. We are House Valdyr and we're fairly organized and friendly but not too uptight with a lot of regulations. We're primarily an organization for adult gamers who want a place to hang out, cooperate and succeed without 12-year-olds screaming in their ears.

We are seeking the following:

- Friendly demeanour (we all laugh and joke, we swear and talk about ALL topics so don't come in with pretence)

- At least be relatively active

- Don't flame, grief, hack or steal

Now to what WE offer YOU:

We offer an atmosphere of fun maturity with jokes and personalities from all ends of the spectrum. For the hardcore gamer we offer chances for advancement and...eeek!...responsibility. We also give every member free Teamspeak, Free forums, free website and free access to all of the games we play (we won't pay for a sub game, but we allow you immediate access to our other guilds in any game you can play). And the best part? If you don't see us in a game you like: SUGGEST IT ON THE FORUMS! House Valdyr is expanding almost daily.

House Valdyr has a long history and strong leadership. We play games from across the spectrum (shooters, strategy, roleplay even pen and paper games).

In summation;

- Free website

- Free Teamspeak

- Fun atmosphere

- No infants

- No trolls

- Enlightenment on new games

So come on over and see us out read our story and see for yourself just how fun we are.

http://www.valdyr.us

Hi everyone.

I was going to do a little writing today but figured I would write a little blog instead because I feel the need for venting.

As I am sure plenty know I have a problem I fight every day, a normal one that a lot of people have and that is Depression. I like to think that I do a good job of keeping it away from people so they do not have to deal with my problem’s but sometimes I need to vent… to rage… I actually remember a time when my rants where almost comical and though I do try they just don’t hold that same lustre and comedy they used to *I wonder who’s fault that is Wolfie*

Oh shut up you… no one asked for you input…

So anyway I am going to try and get some of my pages written out from my head so I can post them… been having so many awesome ideas my book is full of crap *HA that not ideas those ARE your stories*

Ah for the love of darkness don’t start with me will you!

Sorry he is being a pain in my head again today. So now I am thinking of starting a steam punk adventure, what do you think? Also finishing off Demon would be nice….

You know I have noticed so many people getting mad and upset lately like there is a crazy bug going around in everyone’s pantaloons, it’s downright crazy I’m telling ya… people vanishing, yelling, throwing tantrums and just plan being crazy mofos lol

*Ah that’s normal Wolfie*

Yeah I know but still it’s a little odd that so many people are doing it…. And I am talking about my friends and people I watch… the poor dears

*POOR DEARS!?! HA they need about as much sympathy as a rabid dog*

HEY they do need sympathy jackass, I care about a great number of them you know! So you can just shut your dam mouth.

*ok, ok soooorrryyyy jeez do continue*

Thank you.

Mmmmmmmmm coffee… so I have diabetes type 2 I think…. The not so dangerous one lol… I am doing pretty good for myself... cutting back on so many things is not as hard as I thought it would be, but such is life and I am thankful for those close to me for being strong with me… Chelsea my love, Mumma kitteh & kitty you both keep my spirits high and well so many friends on so many sites ^_^

*You do realized putting your girls name in here is no doubt going to piss some people off right?*

I would have to say I honestly don’t give a good gods dam about how people like that.

Ok so I think this will do for now… I will let you read all this bullshit and toddle off to play a game

*yeah and die constantly because you listen to fools and play without cheats*

Hay at least I’m trying…..ok bye all

Hello everyone I hope you’re doing really good I know I am ^_^

This little blog is just to update on everything, or at least everything I can think of lol

A little note before I start… My life is all over the place at the moment and I am sorry if I don’t message you every day or take a call from you…I try my best to be there for everyone but one cannot always be around and available and if this annoys you then deleting me after you say goodbye would be best. I wish I could be there for everyone but I am only one guy and even I have problems and a life to deal with.

Well now let’s get started shall we, I have a rustled jimmie's to share…
I am starting to really hate weak willed people, take this for instance. “I just cannot take how you are” what the flying monkey balls, well then tell me you cannot handle me don’t just vanish like I don’t exist at all. So by that I meant people that just delete without so much as a work so when you go to talk to them you find out there didn’t want you as a friend… it’s irritating and stupidly childish. AND I really despise people that leave and never tell you why like it’s the hardest dam thing in the world to do, to take a few moments to write down a few words to say why…. Or even a simply one like “hey I’m deleting you have a good one” I would love that at least I know and its final, but NO nothing as nice as that just an open question as to what I did wrong. Well I’m sorry I was not good enough for you how about you go shove a banana where the sun don’t shine ^_^

Hmmmm I think tha…. Now that’s not it there is more but hey the human race isn’t going to listen to me hehe so I will leave that stuff for another time.

Ok my life well dam I don’t know I am trying to save up to go visit my girlfriend in Canada but saving moneys is hard lol… but I’m not going to give up ^_^ and my writing is slow but I am doing some interesting things so when they finish you will love it ^_^

I think that’s about it for now… but who knows with me I’m sure something will come up and get my jimmies rustled lol but until then you all be good monsters or the big bad wolf will get you ;)

 MR.Wolfe

YO,

So here I sit thinking to myself mostly and trying to stay as sain as I can even with the whole dam world on my back lol... I know a lil dramatic there but it does feel like it and since this is a rant/blog I figure I’m allowed a little literary fun ^_^

I believe thinking is my problem I just do too dam much of it for my own good.
I need to get back to writing at least when I did that I didn’t stress so much as I do now... Bills, Canada, Food, house... FUCK.... SEX... mmmmmmmm now shit um... ok so anyway depression is not as back as it used to be so I’m glad about that... seems a little more manageable when I write my feelings down *Fucking want to kill you* O.o sorry about that.... slipped out...
so anyway I try to talk these things out with some people but I just find talking about it just makes me feel worse then I already do... so I find its more better to just talk about other things but don’t think I forget these things... I just put them aside in my mind to worry about later... it’s not good to just forget ones problems when you need to deal with them constructively lol.. Or something like that.

You know I sometimes make no sense at all even to myself... it’s funny I will sit here and talk about something and get to a point where I just have no idea what the hell I’m going on about...

*I FUCKING HATE YOU!!!!!!*

So ya know something I hate is people that talk to you and vanish for no god dam reason.... no BRB nothing just poof lol.... come on... three letters people... b.r.b is it that hard? *shrugs* maybe it is... I mean it take a lot of energy to press three keys in sequence.

I like Monster energy drink... I don’t care how bad it is for me... I have given up so much cos of my fat ass but I refuse to give everything up! It’s funny though cos I hear about people that down this stuff like its soft drink then whine when they get fucked up..... *fucking stupid moron!!!!!* you should only drink one a day.... you should not need to suck them down one after the other... that’s just senseless. OH GODS I just burped and it when back down my throat.............. FLAHHHHHHH *Faints*

I haven’t done this in ages honestly people I need to write my thoughts down more often.... was even thinking of making a vlog... a video blog lol... but I never do it.. :P

Ok for now I’m off... but I might write something later lol.

Within us lies darkness so deep, so profound that we barely understand it. When it bubbles to the surface even for the briefest of moments we get a small glimmer of its darkness, its despair, its horror. The one thing most don’t realise is that you don’t need to give into this darkness, even when it cries to be fed you only have to sate it with but a thought of darkness not to actually let it free to gorge its self. I’m guessing you’re wondering why I’m talking about this huh? Well I have been watching people for a long time and seeing how they accept their own darkness with so many truly horrible vices, drugs, killing, rape... It never truly ends to be honest and I am afraid that humanity as a whole is doomed to always follow this darkened path to its eventual end where ever that is no one can tell. But I for one will not follow them, though I may watch them I do not partake in letting the darkness break free, I have my ways of feeding it without hurting myself or those around me. Granted it’s not as fun as letting it out to reek havoc but hey you don’t always get to have that much fun huh. Few simple things you can do is listen to metal or gothic music, I for one love this it feeds it and also brings me a semblance of peace, another way is to play violent games on gaming consoles or pc... again one of my favourites ^_^ what can I say I been doing it for ages and not once have I taking a hand to anyone. WRITING honestly people.... get a book and a pen and write down all your dark impulses it can take a hell of a weight of your mind and soul sometimes, I do it all the time and only post half of them hehe. I don’t really know why I got to wanting to write this down... most likely to take my mind of my home life... it is not a good time right now lol but I’m not here to blog so let’s move on shall we. Good... Now talking can help you from time to time but I find some time alone can do wonders as long as no sharp things are close lmfao... just kidding cutting is something I don’t do anymore and even when I did it was a sexual impulse more then to FEEEEEEL lol... pansies you want to feel? Go outside and weed the garden in the sun... go for a mile hike in the hills... go for a long ass swim... plenty of ways to truly feel something without needing to open the flesh for that tender feel of warm sticky blood running from the opening in your soul. In any likelihood you’re not reading this anymore so I might as well finish off here before I fall into a rant lol... want to chat about problems and such drop me a line I’m always around someplace. Now you all be good! If not then dam well be good at it! xXUnholyWolfXx

Hi, here I am sitting in the lounge of my new place for a while… what can I say about the last few months… well that’s easy it was hell on earth as a few of you will know as I came to you when shit would hit the fan with catzilla and the Gimp….. *Falls over laughing* sorry just could not help that… I’m keeping names out of this for sanity sake lol so enjoy the nicknames…
Now when I first went there it was just to help out a friend but as time moved on I could see the changes I didn’t say anything at the time because I wanted it to work… but I was naive and silly to think that anything would change! Life was good when it was just us and catzilla even with the guys she had over ;) I really didn’t mind one of them he was pretty decent for a married man lol…
then the Gimp came along and slowly everything changed, human contact basically stopped and resentment grew strong in the house… I’m rushing through this but only cos I don’t want to put much in this… I will admit I have a bizarre taste in porn as a lot of you know hehe and to think that they went onto my hard drives even after they promised not to invade my privacy was just sick and wrong… a lot of it is hidden and they won’t be able to read it but a great deal of my personal thing where on that…
and now it is all lost.. As well as dear things to me... my swords and knives including a knife my uncle gave me in memory of his lost dog that I loved… and that whore stole them! And my book of shadows… my other books… my cd’s and anything that would fetch IT a price…. She kept my mum’s photos that can NOT be replaced! As long as I live I will get revenge! No one will ever see it coming! Hell I won’t ether lmfao… :P anyway… let’s see… for HER I put up with the constant smell of cat piss that not only lingered in my room but on her… and the cat shit…. And the hair… *shudders* I hate them all…
from the rotten life’s to their dicks of friends! I don’t care if they can read this but I don’t think they can since I blocked her zilla ass from everything! And this is being posted on the one site that I trust and love… man she actually accused me of going on her laptop… fucking slag I have better things to do then to go on your laptop! She also kept me writing books! Years and years of writing gone! Fucking cunt licking slag…. I’m sick and tired of being burned by people I call friend! shit happened that day she kicked me out that pretty much threw me over an edge… I haven’t told any of you about that but who knows…. I don’t think I will.
So now there I was living there and trying my dam hardest to keep the house in order… but I knew that the gimp was just fucking around at being nice to me… he always came across as hostile and just like there is nothing inside him!... both of em are on shit knows how much pills… fuck I have trouble taking… oh… fuck…I can’t remember if I took mine this morning lmfao… ^_^ but that’s beside the point… I was always nice and kind… always ready to help and you know what she said? That I was always intimidating her and she was afraid of me… what a fucking joke! She knew what I was like before I moved in IF she had a god dam problem with me she could have said no…. but did she? Nope…. Not fucking once did she lol… what a fucking retard… they both are! So anyway I’m living hell of a long way away from them… cos lucky me I know where they shop and how far they go…. If it’s longer than 20 minutes they won’t go lmfao lazy fucks… so now I have to start from nothing… I need to find all my paperwork… the slag kept my hospitality certificate… fucking… childish assholes they all are! Every one of them… that’s about it… I am done with CATZILLA and THE GIMP I am changing my phone number OH check this shit…
A txt I got: From (The Gimp)
Do not go to Catzilla’s house. Police have advised that they will attend to escort you from the premises. All data storage devices and documents are subject to ongoing investigation by police in 2 states. A body of evidence to support fraud charges is currently before police. Your possessions were retuned over 3 visits to you and your roo rental representative. All other rubbish you left at the premises has been disposed of. No forther discussion or negotiation will be entered into. You have been evicted. You will be trespassing if you attend Catzilla’s presmises. Phone harassment will be reported.
That was sent to me 03/10/2010 9:47am
SO according to the gimp I picked up all my things already but wait… on the 24/09/2010 at 10:13PM catzilla called me and told me that all my possessions will be kept and sold and anything else simply thrown away, all the art I was given by my dear friend tirr… my hospitality cert and my birth certificate, my bills, my bank account details… EVERYTHING that THING kept so tell me… how could I have gotten my things IF she has sold them? How could I have collected my things when I was told not to go back to the house or the police will be called to get me off the grounds… so tell me does this make sense to you? Or is this just all some fucking sick joke by catzilla and the gimp.
This is all getting to me… every day I wake up and am reminded that all of my things are gone... every day my heart hurts to know that someone I thought was a good friend to me has done this to me… it hurts me so deep and soo hard that I just see red… but I control myself unlike her and her gimp I can actually control myself… I intimidated her she said now you all know me, does that sound like me? Honestly I did all I could to help and be there for catzilla but noooo I was a bad bad man that she was afraid of… well if she was so afraid then why not tell her married lover to kick me out? No… how about her Dom? No…. wow she waited until I was out of the house and had nowhere to live… she waited and waited till I was vulnerable with nowhere to go… and to have the gimp get up in me and mums face while she was telling us to leave…. Well I knew what that was... lol goating me into doing something… the gimp told me “we will respect your privacy and not look through your things” now I can understand looking through papers that I was understanding about but to go onto my hard drives and say I had things on there that where not real to begine with well that just pissed me off.. They are a bunch of thieves and liars!!! And karma will get them in the end and I will laugh… I will never do anything against them cos I am bigger than them! I would never do a thing to someone like that! ok I am going now… this is just blahhhhhhh lol
Later all ^_^
And note... I never used names addresses or such...