FreeSpirit FuAngels The Lollipop Gurlz Club's blog: "My Crazy Life"

If there is anyone in Club FAR that I have not added (sometimes friends requests get messed up),fanned , or rated please drop me a private message. If there is anyone in Club FAR that has not returned the love that I have mentioned please rtf. I do not want to have to report you to the head of the family. I am trying to make this as drama free as possible so please help me out with this !!!

I will not be posting any NSFW pics of myself on this site. It makes me uncomfortable to do so. I don't even rate NSFW pics in other people's photos. It just crosses to many lines for me that I am not willing to cross. There is the fact that posting them might come back to haunt me someday also. The only content on this page that will be NSFW, is what the bouncer's tell me my images are. That is all I have to say...Period. Case closed !!!

Well guys, I got the flu and I am sicker than a dog. I even puked on my doctor yesterday...LOL. I don't feel like lounging, answering my shout box or giving out comments. I am just so run down and worn out. On the bright side I do feel like giving picture ratings and rating stashes. I will also be working on my page. Uploading and that type of stuff. Bear with me until I get this thing over with.

I have had some problems with my blogs in the past on other sites, so I decided to write these up. Some people have even chosen to flame my father's update blogs. Just bs to get you more attention or This is depressing why would I want to read this crap, and so the rules: 1) If you read a blog show me some sign that you where there- comments, kudos or whatever, just let me know that you care enough to read them. I'm starting to feel that my blogs have no interest to you anymore. 2) No flaming in the blog- We are intelligent adults here. I know we can word a criticism in a non hurtful way. If you want to flame me send it to me in an e-mail message. I take my blogs very seriously especially the ones I write about Dad. I'm giving you something that most people would never get. A true and honest look into my life.

The side-effects of the radiation struck again. The doctor and my mom and I hoped that this would not be a problem with Dad's healing up but it was. You see the surgery required that Dad's throat be opened up and then he had to heal from the wound. When he had his radiation that is were all the radiation was aimed. When the doctor started to take out the stitches he noticed the Dad was leaking an abnormal amount of fluid from the middle of his wound and it would not stop, so the doctor decided to do a skin graft over the whole incision to make sure that it would heal correctly. The doctor took muscle and skin from my dad's left shoulder and side area and started the procedure. When he got in to the wound my dad had a huge hole in the middle of the original incision. He had to rebuild some of the things that he had done in the first procedure. He said that it was a mess in there and if he had not given dad the skin graft he never would have healed on his own. Mom said that when they first brought him back from surgery it looked like he had a sausage roll under his neck. They had put all this ointment and stuff all over it and it was pale skin. It was really swollen up too. When they got him back to his room they were have trouble getting him to take a deep breath for them so they called in the respiratory team, by the time they got there he was breathing fine. Mom said that she thought he was still in La-La-Land anyway so she didn't think that he could hear them all that well. He has a little thing that they pin to his gown now that puts out water and air onto the graft and the whole his breathing tube was in, and they also give him breathing treatments through it. He's getting very good dope for his pain. The doctor is giving no dates as to when he will be well enough to come home. I think dad is getting a little testy and is anxious to come home. He is starting to get really uncomfortable in his hospital bed and he tends to use a lot of pillows to make himself more comfortable. Note: I saw dad for Christmas and the skin graft is now pink, which means that there is blood flow in the graft. It's still a little swollen and angry looking, but it hasn't been that long since he had his surgery.

Well, Dad is coming along nicely in his recovery. He is still in the hospital and this may sound nasty but Mom and I prefer it that way. If he gets sick the doctor can treat it right away with him in the hospital. If he came home we would have to take him to the emergency room and I think everyone knows how long the wait can be there. They have taken his throat tube out and now he has this big hole in his neck that they are letting heal on it's own. We don't know if they are going to put something in it to help him do anything or not. All the mess in his lungs and sinuses is melting so when he coughs a little fluid comes out of the hole and he has to suction it off his skin . He also get the hole clogged up with something like the mucus plugs that babies are born with but the doctor said that was normal. His energy is coming up. They have been walking him around a lot in his room and in the halls. He sits up in a chair 3 hours everyday and has started to be able to lift his head and move his neck without it hurting as much as it did. My Dad is an avid note taker so he is writing down when he gets his medicine, his food, and everything else. He also does a lot of writing when people come to visit. My Dad also tries to use hand gestures to try to get his point across. Writing works a whole lot better my Mom says. The doctor has brought in a speech therapist to help Dad learn a new way to speak. It goes like this: You take air into your lungs and then force it back up into your mouth, because you teeth and tounge are mainly what make the sounds for speech not your vocal chords. I find that confusing. Right now Dad is dealing with an infection in one of the stitches that was left on the inside of his throat. They are giving him some antibiotics for this. He is starting to complain about the hospital bed and just about everything else, but like I said that's just my Dad for you!!!

Well, Dad came through his surgery just fine. Mom stayed at the hospital all day and half the night because Dad's doctor was running 2 1/2 hours behind and the volunteer at the front desk in the waiting room had Mom writen down in the wrong section, so the nurse had to come and find her to give her the first report on the surgery. The first report was that he was doing very good but the operation was going a little longer than planned. Mom found out from the doctor later that it went on so long because the tumor was bigger than they thought it would be so they had to take out more tissue to make sure that they hopefully got it all. Dad has a heart condition so they put him in ICU the night of his surgery to monitor that. They had to take out all the tissue in his throat out so they gave him one of those things they put in your throat ( Don't know how to spell it.) They had him hooked up to a ventilator so he could breath without straining himself and they had to get his blood pressure down. I guess the strain of the surgery made it go up. They kept him drugged up with some good dope all night long and Mom came home because she thought she would just be in the way if she stayed. The doctor told her if he was doing good in the morning they would move him to a hospital room. Right now Dad is in a nice comfy hospital room but to see him you have to wear a plastic suit and gloves. It's a new hospital policy to prevent staph infections. He still has oxygen but he is not on a ventilator anymore and Mom said his poor neck is in a mess. He has staples all over the place and can't move his head very easily. He hates having to write everything down, he's mad about it already and he hasn't been out of surgery for 2 days yet. He gets the time messed up because they put him in a room where he can't see out. He's complaining already....but that's just my Dad for you !!!

Well, the first thing that I have to say in this blog is that I'm sorry. I have been keeping this a secret since we found out, so I have not been fine, having nice days, good weeks or anything like it. It's more like I'm depressed, aggravated, angry, depressed, wanting to kick all those doctors butts, and like my heart has been ripped out and danced on. I knew that Dad was sick before Thanksgiving but I never told anyone until now. He is one day out from surgey and now I tell you guys, well as they say denial is not a river in Egypt. I also did not want to put anymore on your plates than you already had to handle. Dad had his first bout last year and had radiation treatments. He was very sensitive to the radiation and got burns several times. His mouth and his neck. Sometimes these would put off his treatments for a week or once for three weeks and they had to start giving him a lower dosage. When he had gone through the full course of treatments, the doctors did in depth testing and said that they got it all. Now that you are up to speed on the first bout I will begin on the second. This all started from side effect from the radiation. Dad had no saliva left in his mouth and this started to give him some problems. For one he always had to have something to wash his food down, etc.. Well, one of the side effects from the radiation was having tooth problems. My Dad's gums receded and he needed to have some teeth pulled. Our regular dentist would not pull them so he recommended an oral surgeon. This guy would not do it until Dad got some oxygen treatments to head off another side effect of the gradation, which was called sloppy jaw. All it means is that Dad would have healed slower than normal or not at all. He went to take the oxygen treatments and got through all of them and then the crap hit the fan. The first thing that my Dad started to complain about is that he was having a lot of trouble swallowing his pills. We took him to the doctor and he had a scope in the office and the doctor said that it looked like what he saw in allergy patients that time of year so the doctor gave Dad some ( what do you call that stuff that makes you eat a lot), and something to numb his throat because he was having trouble there to and sent him home. He took the medicine but it did not make him feel any better.At this time the swelling in his throat began. Dad had starting swelling in the throat and he could not eat anything because it all choked him. He couldn't even drink anything it was so bad. We took him back to the doctor, but this time they could see nothing. They couldn't even get a scope down his throat. He was sent to the hospital for a CT scan, but they couldn't see anything on that either. They made him an appointment to get a PET scan. That is a scan that can tell if you have cancer and many other illnesses. His doctors had a consultation about this and recommended that he go to a surgeon that specialized in many different kinds of cancer surgery. Dad went to his appointment with this doctor and he examined the PET results and told Dad that he had Become sick with cancer again. He made Dad an appointment at the hospital to do a biopsy to make sure and he was right. As for the swelling in Dad's throat that was caused by the radiation burning up something in his throat . There is a scientific word for it but it's to long to spell. Tomorrow Dad will be having surgery if there are no problems that come up in the mean time. They will be taking his vocal chords, voice box and the swollen tissue out of his throat. He will not be able to talk and will need a lot of help when he gets home. As I write this I am feeling guilty that I will not be able to go. I am somewhat phobic of hospitals after I was in one for almost two months with a messed up gall bladder. The surgon didn't know his ass from a whole in the ground so he messed up. There will be a lot of people there with my mother and I feel guilty for not being one of them. I have no problems with going to visit people in the hospital, It's just having to sit there that freaks me out and I know this makes no sense what-so-ever but this makes me so mad that I want to blow my top.