Velveteenbunny's blog: "My blog?"

I so forget that I even have this account. Seems like everyone that I truely know doesn't even hang out on here anymore. The new love of my life ( and hopefully the one that will stick around forever) , is currently "playing" in the sand. Sigh. Oh ! The 10 1/2 weeks left and counting thing? I've got just about that long left of this pregnancy. Possibly less than that. I know that it's a girl. But, her name isnt going to be Annastacia Elizabeth as I had originally planned. Her name is going to be Rose Elizabeth Schroeder. I'm going to be an aunt very soon as well ( finally ). Things are really begining to look up around here. Just wishing i weren't sick right now. That's the only thing bad about working in an office. You tend to share much more than a few laughs and jokes. GERMS ARE EVERYWHERE!!!!

Well ...this marks the 5th time in my short life that I've been pregnant. Thank God, this will be my LAST time as well. I had a great and wonderful relationship ( or so i thought) we had progressed to the point where we moved in and made our two families one. In the blink of an eye, ego's became too big, pride even bigger and sight was lost on what was really important. A few weeks after our split i learned that I am pregnant. Because of this pregnancy I've managed to see life in a different light. But i'm also caused a great deal of stress and worry. Not too sure what the future is going to hold. I'm working in a locksmithing / road side service company now. I no longer stand on my feet and complain about being tired. That's SOMETHING that I have in my favor. I'm just tired of feeling nausiated all the time. ugh! Well... i've got about 11 - 15 more weeks before I find out who it is that I'm having. If it's a boy, his name will be Aiden McGuire. If it's a girl...she will be named Annastacia Elizabeth :-) Only time will tell i suppose!. take care y'all!

Well.... it's definitely been a while since i last made myself present here on this page. i'm normally logged in @ myspace ( i know i know...soooo uncool) but here's the link anyways if you're curious.... www.mypsace.com/ceramic_heart . There have been several different things to happen within the time frame from October to now. The biggest development though was me meeting my sweetheart.We haven't said those 3 big words to each other, and probably won't for quite some time. But it's one of those relationships where the more we see each other , the more we WANT to be with each other. I'm almost embaressed to admit it, but i've began to have dreams of him. Is this love for me??? I'm almost certain it is. But i'm scared to even take that risk. The last time i fell head over heels in love he hurt me the worse way any man could ever hurt another person. I'm terrified of being hurt again. I just haven't closed myself up completely. My children are doing great! My daughter will , in 5 1/2 months, be 9 yrs old! I can't believe that in just 9 more years i'll be sending her to college! My darling son, in just 3 months! will be the BIG 3!!!! Lord, please give me the patience I need cuz this is gonna be one HELL OF A RIDE!!!!

Well, it's been ages since i've even visited my lc page...at least it seems like it's been. I got an interesting offline, well, sequence of offlines from my wonderful sweet ex husband yesterday. Appearently, I'm not allowed freedom of speach and expression...even though we haven't been together for the past nine months. He feels that he needs to log in to every site he can possibly find that he thinks i just might be a member of, and find reasons to attack me. Yesterday was no exception. Instead of spending his time more wisely and putting the same effort forth to get to know our son, the son he hasn't seen in nearly a year....instead of helping to support the cost of RAISING our son....instead of calling at LEAST once a week to check up on and talk to our son.... he finds the need to tell me that I'M PATHETIC....because I refuse to let go of the fact that he walked out on me when i was giving birth to a still born child last fall. Anyone and everyone who could ever ask me why my marriage ended...I will be honest and upfront with those reasons. Yes. He did me wrong. Yes, I caught him cheating. BUT, what i did wrong was that I didn't work while we were together. Yes. I didn't work. HOW DARE I BE SO LAZY!!!! I also made sure that i sat at home night after night with him. I made sure that my kids had clean clothes to wear, a clean home to live in and plenty of food in their stomachs.I took them to doctor appointments, went to school meetings.... and even had time to spread my legs for him. HOW DARE I BE SOOO IRRESPONSIBLE! lmfao i find it quite humourous actually, that he feels the need to log into my different sites that i have checking up to see what i write about, just so that he can find more things to say to me. ME PATHETIC? That's scraping the bottom of the barrel for the pot to be calling the kettle black. Doesn't he have enough sense to say " oh well... let her write about what she wants to. She's not my concern anymore. Well...in any case, i don't think i'll be answering the phone when he calls ( if he calls ) tonight. I'll be too busy being pathetic , talking to my friends. take care!