my birthday wish
spinning, whirrling, breaking down
all the things I have, trapt deep in my mind
the whispers, the mumbles, the movement of shadows
sometimes so afraid of what things I might find
I sit here and wish for an end to this bullshit
I sit here and wonder, what it is that I've done
to make all the things in my life, up and leave me
fuck that last nerve shit... I woke up with none
I sit here and wait for the phone to start ringing
expecting with each ring, my mom's crying voice
for three days I've sat here, just falling to pieces
my moods up and down, cause I don't have a choice
my friends tell me "chin up"... like I feel like smiling
a week till my birthday ... doesn't seem like 2 years
I know this is one day ... thats suppose to be happy
but instead... it's become one of my biggest fears
in '07 on my birthday... I lost my Pop to cancer
it's been two short years, but I'm starting to see
as I sit here and pray for the health of my grandma
her home, safe and sound, is all I'm wanting for me..
