LadyRavenwolf's blog: "Musings"

Oh where to begin...i was assigned the task of expressing what it is like and how it feels to be pleased by Master. i find it very difficult to do so as most of my feelings and such are just that. not describable in words. The emotions run rampant in times like this. i am a mix of shudders, shivers, hot flashes and the overwhelming desire to scream out what i feel. Problem is there are no words to say it. Just as saying i love you isn't enough, digging my nails into Him isn't enough. What it is like can't be compared to anything i know. It's pleasure is harder. Maybe if you recall your very first Candy Apple at a fair. The pride, the delight, the savoring of it's flavor and then the sadness when it's gone. Then you are reminded that next Fair you might get the chance to have it again, To repeat all the steps...over and over. This is how, for me, it feels to be pleased, then wanting more, yet wishing to give as receive. i hope this explains it well enough for another to comprehend.

Please, all of you and you know who you are....Thank you. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for your support and kind wishes. Sometimes it is hard for me to express this as issues take me over and I forget you all. When sanity seeps back in I see all your kind words and wishes and cry cuz I forgot. A friend I made back in Iowa, who is still with me thru all this asked me to try something. I am going to. I am willing to try anything to get back to the me I was. Here is what she wrote..: Connie Russell: try something for me see if it helps, sit on the ground, floor what ever, close your eyes, and imagine all your love wrapped around you, if on the ground you can feel the earth too/that is always better but it is up to you, breath in and imagine all that around you is drawn in and then release it out to fill the room or the area where ever you are Love you cc...you're one of the many who matter to me and forgive me for being so selfish. That goes for all my friends. You've been awesome. I love you All! Wanda

(Notes by: Master Ravenwolf) this blog is a task i asked of my R/L slave and fiance onyx ice, she wrote in her own words what being claimed by her Master is so anyone interested in the life style as a real thing not just internet kinky would see a slaves point of view. Some may find it offensive but those in the life for real as we are will know, i have been in the life for a long time and i am proud to be so are my slaves wich i love dearly and would do anything for, i am engaged to one in real life i adore her as you will see she is proud to be owned by her poly Master i am so proud of her and love her. Being Claimed 8/1/08 Anyone within the lifestyle knows the phases a relationship goes thru as it progresses. Being claimed as Master's is an ongoing ritual. Testing my limits in all aspects of the life. Master tells me i am learning well and is proud of my progress. For me the claiming ritual is very special. He tests and pushes my limits on what i can take and can't. Moving beyond my initial goals is wonderful. It allows me to set higher ones to work towards. My last claiming sent me way beyond even my expectations. Master always makes sure i am safe, is very sensitive to my feelings and body language and seems to know best as to when to stop. Even if i feel i can move forward, he knows what is best. The last time was just that. i was or felt i was able to continue but was told "No, enough for today. You're body needs the break and rest" i laughed it off but i will say He was right. i so needed to rest and regain the strength lost. His claiming was intense. It began as usual but went way beyond any before. i enjoy pain and my tolerance level is pretty high. Master pushed me beyond that and i am ecstatic about it. There isn't much i can not handle. i beg for more, to feel, to hurt and ache. Master provides me with all i need. my next goal is to handle anything he can throw my way. Anything. i have complete trust in him and i know i will go beyond even that. He has my life, heart, body and soul. i have no fear of Him or His wants or needs. i am here for Him, always and forever. Being Claimed 8/2/08 As i sit here at 4:30 am, i find myself once again writing of being claimed. Maybe this time i can explain it further. Maybe i can put in details of what it is to be claimed as Master's slave. We always begin with lots of talking, lots of soul searching, both of us. my fears, His, Our like goals and needs and wants. During this time there is constant touching. Light, gentle, loving caresses. Pillow talk if you will. The conversation always delving into what i as a slave must do to serve Him. i am happy to serve Him. Always. The caresses become more feverish, more probing. Master begins a ritual of this using pain as my guide. How far will i go? How long before i lose my sanity? By the end of the last claiming, i was left raw and sore. I feel everything He did and will for many days. Tonight's claiming was totally unexpected. i did not expect anything more than love making. As His use of pain increased i knew i was wrong. All those sore and raw spots screamed out. Not for it to end but for it to continue until i could take no more. To be claimed means not being able to control any aspect of my feelings. To give everything i feel to Him. To have no control over my body. It is His. To do with as He pleases for as long as He pleases. For most it could not go far beyond a few minutes. my training as well as my desires takes me through many hours. To some it would look like abuse. For me it's heaven in the form of my Master. We do have a safe-word in place but i have no real use for it. i trust Him explicitly. There may come a day when i will need it but at this point i am happy being and doing all Master asks of me. All the pinching, pulling, biting, stretching, insertions, clamps....are exactly what i want and i still want more. Oh those raw and sore areas? i do not feel them right now. The adrenalin rush prevents the pain from taking me over. i am still sore and raw and now am bleeding. i will feel them in the morning and be reminded i am His. i wear His collar proudly and very happily. I Love you Master Ravenwolf. (notes by :Master Ravenwolf) To be claimed and owned by a Master in real life is an ongoing thing as she grows with her Master not just a one night episode, maybe this will shed some light for those wishing it. I love you onyx ice and proud to own you and see you wear my collar.

Ok for those who do not know me and there aren't too many, I began here as Sultry1957, went thru a name change to Sexy Sultry and then to DJ black pearl and now DJ ice queen. I must say this last name fits me rather well. I am in the midst of a divorce and feel like ice. I place no blame on the break up. We are both responsible for it. Then stupid me thinking that the kids are old enuf to understand what is going on, I am thrown for a loop. I was a good Mom and raised my kids to respect others. Not to judge and always hear both sides to any story. Alas all I thought I had achieved was in vain, my girls, 27, 25 and 23 blame me wholely for the break up. I felt I had to leave the area or be stalked. I knew staying would mean no rest and no time to heal from the situation. I moved 1200 miles away. Now, because I emailed and asked how everyone was I am rejected and told I didn't care enuf to stay around and frankly it is none of my business how anyone is doing. I am so tired of caring, it hurts to damn much. I am afraid to call any of them. Is this normal? Will they forgive me? Sorry, I had to get this off my mind. Maybe now I can breath for a little while. It sucks to love!