Clau's blog: "Mother"

I never met my mother. She died when I was about to be 2 years old. Since then...I grew up with a father that did the impossible to raise a good girl. And a future woman of good. I am not sure why am I writing this here. On the internet. I just need to tell the world how much I miss her. How much I need her. As I always do when I visit the place where she is resting. 

I know this is something nobody should care about. It is not my right to make anyone carry this burden. 

I just need to let it out. 

Because I am now a woman. And I would LOVE to know if she is proud of me. If I achieved to be the kind of woman she expected me to be. 

I have seen my father and my older brother encouraging my female sides...even if they were ridiculous for them. And I got to learn a lot from the male world both of them, indirectly, taught me. I know I am not the most feminine woman out there. And that I have traits proper of growing up around men. Men who did their best to encourage me to be a lady.

I just would love to know if mom...is proud of all of us. If we are the people she wished we would be.

I love you mom. I do not even know how your voice was. But I was able to be at least for some time in your arms. I know I made you smile. 

I just hope, wherever you are now, I was able to make you proud of the daugther you had. And some day.....we will meet. And have a talk from woman to woman. I will tell you everything dad did for me. The friends I have. The career I have. Everything.

I love you!!. I need you. And I will never give up in my search for you.