I sit here this evening, or morning I should probably say, contemplating life. I have developed new theories on life the past few weeks. Life, as I see it in it's full brutality, is one pain in the ass after another. There are fleeting moments of happiness. But depending on who and/or what makes you happy, they are few and far between. It always seems when I somehow find a way to take a positive step in life, something will happen that throws me back further than I was.
Now that I've gotten my logical bullshit out of the way...
The emotional rollercoaster has come to a hault. It's a good thing I think. Not with the outcome I would have preferred, but it works. I've found ground to stand on. Which is always nice. Yesterday, I turned down a job offer. Not just any job offer really though. The one I'd been waiting for. The one that could either fix, or end, my life. I'll just let you all imagine what the hell it could be. But, I turned it down. I made a promise, and i stand by it whole heartedly. I'm still working on the house thing. It will probably come together in november sometime. Which will be nice. Not having to worry about being homeless would be a great thing. Also, the great state of Missouri, in it's infinate wisdom, deemed it necessary to reinstate my driver's liscense a couple days ago. And yes, I'm going to frame the fax they sent me. As my mother says, "Baby Steps." Lets see, what else is going on. I'm still learning the recruiting biz. And I think it's going well. I still have a lot to learn though. I'm happy I work for with the best. They will teach me. That is good. I've started to work out again. At least running for my cardio. We'll see how back in shape I can really get. Keep in mind, at this very moment typing that, I'm enjoying a loverly cigerette. What a backwards fuckin world eh? Lets see, what else. I've also decided that I'm going to see if I can still write well. And yes, you people will be the judge. I'm going to take that little thing I wrote a while back on here and develope it some and see what it's capable of. I'm not looking for the Nobel Prize, just a way to vent my frustrations, which seem to be amassing more and more these days. So, be on the lookout, (BOLO for you law enforcement types), for that. I'm going to New Mexico in 8 days. I can't wait. It will be nice to relax for a little while. Although my buddy Karl will be tasting sweet vengence on the pool table for beating my ass every which way he could the last time we played. Now, time for my rant of the evening.
One thing that has been VERY irritating though. For those of you who read my shitting writings, COMMENT ON THE FUCKIN THING!!!!! I see lots of people have viewed it, but no one says anything. I very much doubt anything I say is so absolutly profound that it leaves you people speechless. Unless there is whiskey involved. But, there isn't. Even if it's something incoherant, lame, not even in the same ballpark as what I write about, or even stupid, it would be nice to see who's actually taking time our of their short existance to read my incessant yammering. Speak up! Let yourselves be known! Just put something for fuck's sake. Now I feel better. I'm gonna get some damn sleep now. Or at least attempt to.
