CANDYRAIN's blog: "More About Me!!!"

I am asking For anyone and everyone to please help me out I amentered in a contest for prettiest smile Im pretty far behind on some of the contestants I need COMMENT BOMBERS TO BOMB ME TILL APRIL 1ST PLEASE GO COMMENT ME AND RATE ME...IF YOU WANT ADD ME AS A FRIEND AS WELL ID APPRECIATE ALL THE HELP I CAN GET...HERE IS THE LINK PLEASE HOOK ME UPITS MY FIRST CONTEST AND PROBABLY THE ONLY ONE ILL ENTER THANK YOU!!! [ CherryTAP.com photo: 192925223 ]

Right now alot of things have been going on in my brain from having that mild case of HPV which scares me although its only mild if it does progress it can lead to cervical cancer...Then I went back on birthcontrol I even asked my man if it would bother him and he told me no hes happy with the one child we have together and I know im happy with my daughter and son I really dont think much about having anymore...Then out of no where my man was drinking and he comes out with I want another baby...Im like thinkin where the hell did this come from...I told him do to the fact of my anxiety and stress and all im going through at least let me get my mind fixed first and hes like your fixed But men dont seem to realize anything much about issues us women have most men can bottle up all their issues but us women we can spill our guts out about more than them NO OFFENSE MEN!!! I just know if I were to try and have a baby this second I couldnt handle it...Geez I can barely get out of my house with out freaking out and having and anxiety attack let alone deal with having another little one...I might end up worse than what I am and I am not willing to chance it...He hasnt brought it up since that night he was drinking so Im hoping hell lay off or its something not to worry about and he was just talking out his ass...What Do You Think??? I Believe I need to work On Me First Then Once Im Well Think About Another Baby??? You THink Im Right??? I just worry I may end up with severe post partum depression if I were to do it all now...Thanks For Reading...And If you Guys are going through anxiety please dont take what I say offensive its just based on the men I know they dont get emotional as easy and are less vulnriable to these type things...

I HAVE A FEW SAYINGS I AM FOND ON USING... 1)IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT DON'T LOOK... THIS MEANS FOR PPL WHO DON'T LIKE THE WAY I LOOK THEN DON'T LOOK SIMPLE AS THAT... 2)I AM OLD ENOUGH TO KNOW BETTER BUT YOUNG ENOUGH TO LEARN... 3)I AM SO GOOD I'M BAD I AM SO BAD I'M GOOD... 4) JUST SOMETHING TO THROW IN I AM THE BITCH OF MY CASTLE AND I HAVE NO PROBLEM SAYING THANK YOU WHEN SOMEONE CALLS ME A BITCH...I AM THE #1 BITCH SO MAKE SURE YOU HAVE IT STRAIGHT... I AM SWEET LIKE CANDY BUT I KNOW I CAN BE A BITCH AND I AM VERY PROUD OF IT!!!

I have been dealin with bad anxiety...I have been havin it for few months now more seriously...My anxiexy has made it difficult for me to just walk uptown or go out and have a night out at a club...I use to love to walk everywhere and now I can barely leave my house without havin a panic attack...I feel like I cant breathe I feel like I'm going to pass out...Walking use to be my thing now I feel safe just being in my house...I can't feel comfortable even going shoppin with out feelin like I'm crowded in...I havent gone to see anyone about it because I am unable to walk to where the place is...One thing that helps me at times is if I do go out somewhere I have to have someone I'm close to with me either my boyfriend or my Bestfriend...Also I find it easier if I'm sucking on lifesavers or something similar it helps me take my mind off it...I've had anxiety once b4 years ago and I battled off and on with depression in my life as well...I really just wanna have a normal life where I'd feel like I can take my kids to the park or somewhere and not feel like my throats closing or that I'm going to faint...It is difficult when I wish I could walk around town and not feel like shit...I just don't know if I will ever get well if I keep gettin it again after a few years of not having it...I wanna go shoppin and not have to feel like I'm inclosed by tons of people and have to hurry up and shop not take my time like I use to and want to...I'm sorry if this blog and my others aren't the greatest but maybe others know what I am going through... Thanks for Reading Ronica

My name is Ronica I am 31 I have 2 kids Arianna and Jaleel they are my world...I am a stay at home mother and I love to be home for my children...I do not trust daycare with all the stuff you hear about everywhere No place seems safe...I have a boyfriend Kevin who also is Jaleels father and he is one of the greatest people I have in my life...He works hard so I can stay at home and take care of the kids and the housework...He makes sure we are taken care of no matter what...I have been with him over 5yrs and I couldn't be happier...Sure we can have difficulties but in all relationships theres always a few bumps in the road...I graduated highschool but never went to school beyond that...I always loved to give people massages so at one point I thought if I went back to school it would be for that...I have very few good friends in this world in my life and I chose to keep it that way...I like havin friends online as long as thats what it is online friends...I have always had an easier time making friends with guys than girls probably cause Ive been a tom boy all my life...I usually dont like to dress up unless its a special occassion...I am me and thats all I can be and to me if you don't like it you don't have to look and you like then comment...I am a BBW and I know I look great when I have make up on...But I dont wear it everyday thats just not me...I am happy to have talked to the few good friends I have chatted on here with and some of them I feel like Ive known for years others they just have to get to know me...I dont like people who come across that all they wanna do is cyber...Cause if thats the case I can talk dirty too...But Im not looking for that kind of convo...So if you like my blog thank you if you dont then Screw off!!! I have a couple favorite sayings... I'm old enough to know better but young enough to learn!!! I'm so good I'm bad I'm so bad I'm good!!! I am a nice person but I can be a BITCH and I'm proud to be one I say thank you to whoever calls me it and it seems to get them madder knowing I'm okay with that name in my house I'm #1 Bitch and nobody forgets it...I do have my sweet side but hey I got my evil one too... Remember if you like comment if you don't leave me alone... One last thing B4 I go Dont call me Veronica cause that aint my name and I won't answer too it ok...My name is Ronica I was born with that name and that's who I am...