People go through highs and lows. Some more than others. Well, I was going through an exceptionally low, low the other week and strangely enough it was set off by the death of Anna Nicole Smith. I found the whole thing to be such a terrible tragedy and given the fact that I have such a terrible disdain for Hollywood and the way it sucks the life out of people, it just had this negative effect on me spiritually and I spent a whole weekend in bed. Listless; unable to sort myself out.
I won't say it was because of her. I didn't know the woman. I wouldn't dare say I was depressed because of the happenstances of a stanger's tragedies, but it was indeed the catalyst for a downward spiral. It made me feel rotten. It made me remember why I left LA and why I still won't go back even to shoot. The main reason though was because I was having withdrawal symptoms from taking myself off of anti-depressants. Zoloft, to be exact, and it was taking a hard toll on me.
Anyway, I snapped out of it after a week off immersing myself into my work, staying off of this site and focusing on my business. I always seem to snap back, and part of the reason why I did this time was my friend Mistress Genevieve, who is also on this crazy site but is someone I have known for quite a long time OFF this site in real time. I used to work with her at the Den of Iniquity in LA and met her for the first time at the Houston Fetish Ball in 2004. She is one of the most hedonistic and wild people I know and yet one of the sanest.
A week off this site and then I came back not knowing why and out of nowhere I met someone totally cool, out of nowhere. Weird, huh?
Life is all about balance. Yin and yang. It's also about not trying to force things but rather letting things run their course. I'm still trying to find my happy place and the thing that makes me the happiest at the moment is working as much as possible soooooooooo.......
..enjoy my work and keep me happy!
