This is how I would update Randy Newman's classic...
Mean people got no reason, mean people got no reason to live. They got evil ways, evil eyes and walk around tellin' innocent lies. They got big ol' noses, and tiny little teeth. They wear sneaky shoes on stinky little feet. Well, I don't want no mean people, don't want no mean people 'round here.
But nice people are just the same as you and I. And they are my brothers until the day they die. It's a wonderful world. Mean people got nobody. mean people got nobody to love. They got little chubby legs that stand so low, you wanna walk all over them when they say "hello". They got little cars that go 'beep, beep, beep'. They got little voices goin' "peep, peep, peep". They got grubby little fingers and dirty little minds. They love to hate everybody all the time. Well, I don't want no mean people, don't want no mean people 'round here...