NightRider's blog: "Me"

To understand the problem, you must first understand the nature of the beast. Loneliness effects everyone different. Me, well.....it puts me in a state of depression, followed by a state of regret. From there I just look for what is available (not sexual). I don't understand why things work out the way they do. If you tell me that it just wasn't meant to be, I'll probley spit in your face and tell you to go fuck yourself (harsh, but honest). To finally get with the person you most wish to be with and have things work out to equal happiness for you and your partner, is like climbing Mt. Zion in boxers and house shoes. But like I was trying to state previously, the problem is not singular, but is a reaction of both partners. I apoligize to the ones that I knew in my heart I would never love, but it worked out at the time, and when I look at those occurances now, I regret them.....well maybe not all of them *$(%& gave some great head, lol. But anyways, my point is this, some have found THE ONE, some found ONE, and some haven't found ONE AT ALL. But in all examples, to love, to be loved or to never loved at all. I think it's all a part of a game, and I haven't figured out if I'm the kid playing the game or the little blue piece, being played. ^Nic^

I've dated some outstanding looking girls. From models to jocks. From blondes to brunettes, and to be honest with you, I think I really found love in ONE of them. I won't uncover who exactly it was, but I really think she was a keeper. I know I've told other girls I loved them and at the time, I really did. I never told a girl "I loved her" cause thats what she wanted to hear or to get some ass. If I said it, I meant it. But I believe that the girl I refered to earlier wasn't the ONE for me, although she is a great girl who deserves a very worthy man. As for me, I honestly don't know whats in store for me. But as I commented before, I've dated alot of beautiful girls (and intend on dating a couple more) but seem to believe that none of them were the one I would spend the rest of my life with. So where do I go from here. As hard as it is for me, I'm gonna try to blind myself from all the girls out there and work on improving my future. You know, school, car, job, and so on. But for a guy like me, it's easier said then done. I guess we'll see what happens. "There are 10 billion girls in this world, why does it always seem the perfect one, is 5 minuets down the road." -Randy Starkey