Bubbles's blog: "Me"

New posting: http://beingbubbles.blogspot.com/2010/07/lazy-bum.html

My lil niece was born last night at 11:45pm.  She weighed 8 lbs 11oz.  

I COULD DIE OF CUTENESS!

Pictures will be up shortly. Her name is Brooklyn Jean.  She has the chubbiest cheeks! Also, she didn't cry when I held her. Woot!

Did I mention how CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUTE she is?!

I know a few of you like to read my blogs, for whatever reason.  Well, a good friend of mine suggested I start a writing project, so I have.  I created a blog outside of here, so that I didnt' have to worry about where I have posted.  I now have just a central point of blogging.  You can go see it if you want.  There will be constant updates as it's a project I want to work on, as well as work on my writing skills.  If you're curious, here's the link: 

http://beingbubbles.blogspot.com/

Cheers. 

I think I have a severe mental problem when it comes to doing any type of schoolwork. I have barely 4 weeks of classes left and I've managed to procrastinate a semester's worth of work into these last 4 weeks. Usually I start to feel a sense of urgency about now and start getting things done. Not the case right now.

I don't want to do any of it. I feel very uneasy because if I don't I'll get kicked out of school. All the money and time my parents have put into me will have been wasted and I feel shitty because of it. I wanna cry.

I feel a little more than slightly depressed. I shouldn't. I'm super excited because I've managed to find a new job. When I'm there I'm happy and try my best. When I'm doing anything related to school.. I dunno. I don't feel as if I'm doing anything.

I'm wondering if I'm just lazy and selfish.

I feel as if education is being forced upon me. I have no choice. That's not right though, because you can't force anyone to learn anything.

I don't know what to do. My parents are so wonderful and I feel as if I'm just wasting the time they've sacrificed and support they've given me my whole life.

I still feel depressed. I am crying now.

I also have no idea how to talk to anyone about this. I wanna talk to Garett about it but I don't know how. Will he understand? WIll I even make sense? I feel as if everything I'm feeling is very illogical.

Do I even make sense now.. I don't even know. Probably not.

Well, I have a lab write up to do, an extra small research report for more points to do, a powerpoint presentation to do for my Thursday night class, a test to study for Friday afternoon (which if I don't pass it, I'm royally screwed) and 2 assignments to make up for another class.

And I don't want to do any of it. How many chances do I need? I can probably still pass all my classes with  C. 

Hopefully.

My work has screwed me even more.

I was sceduled this week for a 2:30-cl shift. UGH! I can't work at 2:30. I have a class that ends at 3:15. So I called my deparment head on the weekend and asked what was going on. He told me it was just a misprint and that I go in at 5:30 as usual tomorrow. So I thought it was all worked out. Not hardly..

I got a call last night from him saying that it wasn't a misprint because they had a truck coming in on Wednesday. Well shit. So he had to give the shift to someone else. I'm very bummed out. I NEED those hours! I get paid shit as it is, around 65ish bucks every 2 weeks. I was excited about getting an actual 8hr shift instead of my measly 4.5hr shift every Wednesday.Hopefully he'll call me to cover a weekend shift or something..

So my next pay check will look like around 35 bucks or so, all of which willl be going towards my credit card bill.

On a slightly brighter note, I will finally be able to hear my bff's radio show on Wednesday night for the first time in months. Radio X Show, woot!

What do you think horror is?

It should make you squirm in your skin. You're mind should go mad at thought of what could be. 

Not this stupid slasher shit. "OMG drive even though the bad guy running on foot is faster than a car."

Idiots.

The mind is much more interesting place to play with than a humans gag reflex at the site of mangled bodies. The imagination is much more powerful than we give credit. 

You know.. today is gonna be a good day. 

I didn't sleep that well, but I'm in a good mood. Just finishing up my class and I think I'm gonna do my laundry today. I actually payed attention in class today and I feel good. Borrowed my friend's laptop so I could have the slides as my teacher goes over them. Sometimes she goes to fast to write, so I thought I would try it out, having the slides on the laptop so I could write as she lectures. And it worked, so I'm very happy. 

Like I said, I think I'll do laundry today. I at least have to wash my clothes for training tomorrow. I rejoined the old kung-fu group I used to be a part of. Didn't realize how much I missed it. The style is called White Crane Silat. It's an Indonesian based kung-fu. 

I'm taking out Boots for dinner tonight. I owe her for buying me a book when I really wanted it and didn't have the money to buy it :) She's awesome. Probably gonna go to CPK and share a pizza. 

There's a girl in my life I don't wanna be "friends" with anymore. I haven't really been her "friend" for awhile. How do I tell her I don't want to be friends? Or really have anything to do with her. No, it's no one on here. This is someone I've known since I was in middle school.

I think that's all for now. 

Ciao.

So my dad bought my mom and myself tickets to go to the opening night of Cats! at the Pantages (I think that's how you spell it) Theater out here. I'm super jazzed about it! I love the musical. So I have to get all cleaned up for tonight and I still don't know what to wear.

Just though I'd share my excitement with everyone. Weeeee! *does happy dance*

So you all know I've been dating a guy for little over a month now. Well, some of you anyway. I haven't been around much because my classwork has gotten pretty heavy (remind me never to take 5 classes at the same time again) and I have been spending a good deal of time with him as well as with my bff Melissa. Kudos to her as she landed a decent job, works 40 hours a week, and possibly works in the same building as Nikki Sixx. She saw him the other day and he complimented her. She's had this major celebrity crush on him for who knows how long. I got a call from her that day and listened to her gush over him for about a half hour. It was hialrious.

Anyway.. onto the main reasons for this blog.

Been dating a guy who has seemed to walk out of an amazing dream. I don't want to say it out loud, but I'm falling head over heels for him. I know he is for me too. I feel a little apprehensive about it though only because the last time I loved someone I got skewered right through the heart. At least that's what it felt like anyway. I feel very safe with him though and that's not a feeling I get too often. I've also never been instantly drawn to someone before. It's a little unnerving. When I'm near him I want to be touching him in some way, even if it's just his arm around my shoulder or holding hands with him. I've also been good. Those of you who know me know what I'm talking about and I'm surprised with myself, but happy about it. He's in no rush either, which is just as amazing, though don't think we don't think about it. We're no angels. Just two people trying not to rush into anything. I feel as if this relationship could last, if you know what I mean. I'm not putting my actual though on the subject down even here because I'm still in shock of how I feel about it.

On a differnet topic, I've been doing a lot of thinking about my studies and career. I'm sticking with what I've put my mind to and that's to become a Registered Dietician. The thing I want though is to stop going to school full time and find a full time job. I need the money and my parents could definately use the help paying for my tuition and books needed for classes. If I find a full time job and change school to only part time, which would be only 2-3 classes at a time instead of 4-5, then I think I could focus and learn the material much better which would in turn help me in the long run when applying for a very competitive internship and the dreaded test to become a Registered Dietician.

One other thing..

Is it ok to want to be a housewife?

I was supposed to go out with a good friend of mine tonight. I had invited him to a movie screening to a film called Splice. Looked interesting and it was in the horror/sci-fi genre.

He hadn't called when he said he would so I waited an hour after that. Called and he won't be back in town until we would have already had to be there. Needless to say, I won't be going. The spots are registered in our names so I can't take anyone else and I hate going by myself. I really wanted to hang with my friend and see this movie.

I won't tell him, but this did kinda hurt my feelings.