Crazy Prophet AKA Midnight Dancer's blog: "Me"

My long term goal is to have a balanced relationship that is truly a team (in the fullest sense of the word) that will in turn contribute to all other areas of life. But what do I mean by the relationship being a team? It means that both people take full responsibility for themselves and each other, flowing power to each other. They are like a well-oiled machine, whether they are operating in tandem or individually. A constructive and fulfilling relationship with the ideal partner would be one in which both people are supportive of each other. This applies to group goals as well as individual goals and activities. They cover each other's backs, the strengths of one compensating for the weaknesses of the other. Yin and yang. I developed this list after evaluating past relationships and looked at what things were lacking for me. It is pretty certain that if things were lacking for me in the other person, then I also lacked things that they needed or wanted. We are who we are. Some puzzle pieces fit and some do not. In the list below are points that I look at when trying to determine if someone would be a good match for me. Everyone has different needs and wants. Whether someone fits doesn't mean they are good or bad as individuals, it is strictly a compatibility issue between two people. Some of the below points are "red flags" that I watch out for. Other are things that are important to me to some degree. Some of them are very subjective and can only be judged through my eyes. Everyone has good and bad days, I don't expect anyone to always be at their best. Either way, here is what I look for:

1. I am not looking for someone that is "not ready" for a serious relationship, or has been taking an extended break from dating because of "fear of getting hurt" or has issues being close or intimate.
2. I am not looking for someone that is constantly depressed or always angry about something. I want someone that is not “easily” made sad, or angry, but is normally cheerful and active.
3. Has a high spirit-of-play – in other words, has a playful attitude even when life isn’t being particularly fun.
4. Someone that can sometimes be enthusiastic or passionate about things, even little things.
5. Has no problem giving or receiving help. The ability to help others, and to allow others to help you is one of the most important qualities for a person to have.
6. A desire and a willingness to help improve social conditions, either locally or globally.
7. Can freely communicate on virtually any topic.
8. Is willing to talk through difficulties/disagreements rather than "avoiding" them or "giving in."
9. Lets me know right away if something bothers her; firmly but nicely.
10. Can evaluate the relative importances of things and operate accordingly. The one constant in the universe is change, when things change, sometimes priorities have to be adjusted.
11. Knows when to be firm and when to be flexible. Compromise is necessary in any relationship, at the same time there are things that you should not compromise on.
12. Able to hold her position – doesn't just go along to make everyone happy but keeps her integrity and her own views.
13. Someone with the ability to be both refined and unrefined, sophisticated and unsophisticated – able to operate comfortably at both ends of the spectrum, from helping me to work on a car to going to a play, symphony or opera.
14. Has class, though doesn't always need to behave that way. She knows how to be a lady, but isn’t snooty about it and knows how to relax.
15. Enjoys dressing up (whether with elegance, class, or sexily) and has no problem dressing down.
16. We should think in similar terms as far as religious/philosophy. That is a whole conversation in itself.
17. High intelligence.
18. Has book smarts (though not necessarily formal higher education) and some level of street smarts.
19. There should be magnetism between us (including mutual physical attraction).
20. We would need to be sexually compatible. Nothing to weird or deviant as far as sexual practices. Sorry to be too graphic, but no BDSM, anything involving injuring or humiliating anyone, and no anal.
21. Gets along well with my son. This is not hard to do, he is very likable and I don’t say that out of paternal biase.
22. Is not a jealous or suspicious person.
23. Is trusting and trustworthy.
24. Someone that, when they make a promise, they go out of their way to keep it.
25. Is caring and compassionate.
26. Knows how or is interested in learning how to ballroom dance. I love dancing, and of course I would want to be able to dance with my life partner. I would feel bad dancing with someone else, and so if she wasn’t into it, I would just end up not dancing. I don’t want that to happen.
27. High affinity for music, preferably enjoys singing, and some desire to create in this area.
28. Affinity for language and the written word. I am a writer. I love to read and to write. If I can not share any of that with my partner, I would end up having to spend a lot of time talking with someone else.
29. Someone that shares my sense of humor – puns, word humor, sarcastic/cynical/ironic/dry wit.
30. Enjoys movies of most types (including subtitled).
31. We operate on roughly the same aesthetic wavelength.
32. Affinity for Asian cultures and a high interest in traveling there.
33. Appreciates my other eccentricities. You will discover them as we go. LOL
34. Has no problem taking a shower/bath with a partner.
35. Can appreciate occasionally being "bad."
36. Has a tendency towards non-conformity
37. Not a huge sports spectator enthusiast. I can sit and watch a game now and then, but mostly I would rather be “doing” something.
38. And finally .. I plan to have an elevnty-first (111) birthday party a long itme down the road. I would fully expect you to be able to attend and dance with me.

I stand defiantly in the tempest, I laugh and dare it to do it's worst. When it strikes me down I simply rise again. And I will continue to do so until the storm blows itself out and I am left with blues skies and singing birds. I need someone that can stand at my side through it all. Someone who knows that they can be battered by life, but never broken... that pain and hardship passes if you push through it... and who would never succumb to the temptation to surrender. I need someone that can run with me, dance through life with me. And someone that can kick pain in the teeth and say to it "I am not yours!" Can you do that? Can you fling caution to the wind and step forward with zest and enthusiasm? Life is here to be LIVED; the game of life is here to be PLAYED. Are you ready for it? And can you have fun while doing it? I am sure you have an idea of the "perfect guy for you." I am not what you were thinking of. That does not mean, however, that I would not turn out to be the "perfect guy." I am not the standard mix of qualities and attributes. I am not remotely what you would expect. But what you would expect is not necessarily what would make you happiest. I`m not saying I am better than the next guy, only that I am very different from the next guy. Whether I would be better for you, well .. that will depend on you. I suppose in a word, I am eccentric. Not by design, just by nature. I am a technical writer by trade and fiction by hobby. I also like to work with other writers or would-be writers to help them improve. I am an avid reader and a bit of a movie buff. I love chocolate macadamia coffee, and the occasional trip to Starbucks for a mocha. I have a wide variety of exotic teas and like to brew and drink them with my Japanese tea set (unless I am by myself; then any old mug will do. Well... almost.) I enjoy talking with a friend all night. I like long, hot showers. (Will sing on request.) Please be drug free (that includes free of prosac or similar.) I like massages by candlelight; giving or receiving. I am also a musician; I have played guitar for as long as I can remember and love to sing. I have a strong interest in other art forms as well, but have done little exploring in those areas. I have just started taking up swing/ballroom dance for the fun of it and to keep in shape. I do have an interest in outdoor activities and enjoy them a lot, but I find myself more drawn to those activities which involve communication or are otherwise mentally stimulating. I can occasionally enjoy watching sports, but for the most part I would rather be doing than watching. I find it very easy to care deeply about other people. I am definitely a people-person. I tend to be a bit picky and am somewhat of a perfectionist. Or, you could say that I simply have a high standard and would prefer not to compromise on it, though I can if the situation calls for it. I like confidence, and open/honest communication. I like a pretty pair of ankles, but if the ankles are bad I am open to other redeeming features. I like a woman who takes care of herself, but I don't want a fashion victim or a Barbie-doll. Be comfortable in what you do. I am hoping to meet the Dulcinea to my Quixote. My Lady, my love, my partner in life. I am looking for someone that is both attractive and intelligent. Both of those can be a bit subjective. It is important that the person have an artistic side, preferably including writing and music, though not necessarily. As I tend to be strong-willed, I need a partner that is also strong-willed. Someone that I can talk with about everything or nothing for hours on end, and who can appreciate enjoying each other’s company without the need for talking. Someone with the ability to be both sophisticated and unsophisticated, depending on the situation, who enjoys dressing up and has no problem dressing down. Someone that knows what it means to be a lady. Also, someone who can appreciate my sense of humor (remember, I am a writer so I do enjoy puns and other "word" humor.) People talk about the perfect date and where it would be, but I think the perfect date could be anywhere. It doesn't matter so much where we go or what we do, as it does that we are enjoying it all the more because we are doing it together. It doesn't matter if it's skipping stones across a pond, ice-skating, or laughing at a really bad movie that we wish we weren't watching. But at the end of the date you feel happy and spent, that the conversation was truly rewarding. And that regardless of whatever else the relationship may or may not hold; you know that you have a friend.