sugar bosom's blog: "me too"

so i had an interesting exchange the other day with someone on the internet, someone i don't know well but who seemed to be fairly reasonable-minded and thoughtful, and it left me wondering.

it started off by my telling about a bad date - i went out with a dentist, and he seemed nice at first, and then proceeded to get creepier and creepier as the evening progressed. despite my telling him repeatedly that i did not want to kiss him, physically pushing him away from me, insisting that we sit at opposite ends of the couch, explaining that i was not interested in being intimate, etc, he kept pawing at me, and at one point pulled me onto his couch and was trying to keep me from leaving.

it was gross. i went home and had to take a shower to wash all that ick off.

the next day, the dentist was texting me repeatedly, and i was not responding, contemplating how i should respond. do i explain that his behavior was inappropriate? i apparently waited too long to respond, and he snapped, texting me a barrage of messages telling me i was being cruel to him and that he was "uncomfortable" with our communication and was going to stop writing to me. at which point i promptly responded: "the feeling is mutual! good luck in your search!"

the phone quieted for a day or two, and then he wrote: "i still like your teeth, if you want to try to connect again."

at which point i had to go shower again.

anyway, i was relating this experience to the internet acquaintance, and he was like, "yeah that sounds creepy, but..." and went on to explain that men are just dumb creatures and we women have to be more forceful in our rejections. as in: it was my responsibility to hold up my hand and say NO! STOP TOUCHING ME! and that my polite refusals could reasonably be ignored.

at which point i was like, what the fuck, dude?

i shared with him another story, about how when i hiked mt. sterling (7 miles up and 7 miles down, a deserted trail), i met a fellow hiker at the top, a guy i did not know, who tried to kiss me. he was behind me and i felt his lips on my neck, and i knew there was no one in about seven miles of me who could hear me or help, and i asked the acquaintance: should have i forcefully told him "NO, STOP TOUCHING ME!"? and he responded, yes, if that were me, that's what i would do.

i tried explaining that i am 5'4" and weigh about 110, and the guy was probably 6' and weighed 180, and this did not change his reasoning at all.

i was baffled.

he insisted that the cops would be happy to fuck up any guy who harmed a woman on a mountaintop, and i attempted to explain that in order for that to make any difference, i would have to make it OFF the mountaintop. he was undeterred by this reasoning. indeed, he then got upset with me and insisted that we stop discussing it, and he promptly blocked me.

which leaves me wondering... what the fuck? was he the guy on the mountaintop? has he been that guy before? how many guys have been that guy? is it REALLY that hard to understand when a woman does or does not want your mouth on their body?

please enlighten me.