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HEY EVERY ONE.. I JUST WANTED TO ASK A QUESTION.. THIS MORNING I GOT A MESSAGE IN MY SHOUTBOX.. FROM THIS GUY NAMES BIGBELLYLOVE420.. HE IS THIS FAT FUCKER THAT ASKES (ME WOULD U EVER TAKE MONEY FOR SEX?) NOW I ASK U.. DO I REALLY LOOK LIKE I NEED MONEY THAT BAD.. OR THAT IM THAT TRASHY TO DO THAT? HOW IN THE HELL COULD U ASK A GIRL THAT? MORE SO U DONT EVEN KNOW HER.. THIS REALLY UPSETS ME.. CAUSE IM NOT THAT WAY.. I PICK ONE MAN AND GO WITH IT.. TILL ITS OVER.. TELL ME IF IM WRONG ABOUT THIS..

my start

You know it sucks that when the storms of life end. An the storm clouds start to show some light. In your darkness u see the most heavenly light shining on the path to take. How in this beautiful site. How the feelings you felt before the storm come back so strong. How it feels you with all these emotions.. How you start to remember those dreams that filled you with hope. To remember that person that made you smile. How you smiled cause you could feel there touch. Or the smell they wore.. Oh and my favorite. How they looked at you like you was that person they could not live with out. Only to wake up and see how your dreams where over.How you try to see why they left you alone. How the dreams you both had is gone. Only to read them on letters of broken promises. To see there face and want to cry. An how that heavenly lighted path god is telling you to go on. Knowing they where your start on this path. That they was god way of saying there are more like that out there.. An knowing you wish you could see them one more time.. One more nite.. One more morning waking up in there arms.. Those hugs, the looks in one another eyes and those talks of life.. How there face will always be there in your mind. In your heart.. Never letting go of those memories and letters..To remember that feeling you two shared. Knowing they feel it still too. So know the storms are passing.. An you are carrying this moment with you. Only to one day hope you have it again.. With the one that is right for you. God gave you that taste.. He started you out right.. An now all you look for is that taste again.. Now here you are walking the hard road alone. But staying on the path this time. An not walking off it again. Cause that feeling is worth the fight.. So here's to you my start.. May we be blessed to meet again.. An know that we changed one another life. Only for the better..

the start of my change

BEEN THINKING.. MY CLOSE FRIENDS KNOW MY LIFE.. KNOW MY PAIN AND HEARTACHE.. KNOW MY SMILE AND LAUGH WITH MY HEART IS FULL.. THEY CAN LOOK IN MY EYES AND SEE WHAT MOOD IM IN.. MY FRIENDS HAVE BEEN THERE WITH ME THROUGH SO MUCH.. AN YOU KNOW WHO U R. IN THE LAST YEAR MY MIND AS BEEN MADE UP.. AND IN ONE WEEKEND.. ITS SET IN STONE.. I KNOW WHAT I WANT.. WHO I WANT.. WHAT I WANT TOO DO.. AND HOW I WILL DO IT.. IN THE NEXT FEW MONTHS.. MY LIFE WILL CHANGE MORE AND MORE.. FOR THE GOOD. IM NOT DOING THIS FOR ANY ONE OTHER THEN ME,. BUT I WILL DO IT.. RIGHT NOW IM HAPPY.. VERY.. BUT NOT SURE HOW LONG IT WILL LAST.. THINGS ALWAYS CHANGE.. BUT JUST LIKE ALL THE QUOTES ON MY PAGE.. IM YELLING OUT WHAT IM WANTING.. WHO I WANT.. NOW IF HE CAN SEE THAT AND WANT THE SAME FROM ME.. IT WILL BE SO WONDERFULL.. BUT IF NOT.. IF HE DOES NOT WANT THAT FROM MY NOW.. ITS OK.. IM JUST LUCKY THAT I HAVE BEEN SO BLESSED TO HAVE HIM.. HOW HE HAS MAD ME SMILE AND MAKES MY HEART HAPPY IN HIS ARMS.. OUR NITES WE HAVE SPENT HOW I LOVE THEM SO MUCH.. TO FEEL HIS ARMS AROUND MY BODY HOLDING ME CLOSE.. I WISH THAT FOR AS ALONG AS I CAN.. I HOPE HE FEELS THE SAME WAY.. HE DOES NOT SAY MUCH. BUT HIS LOOKS THAT HE GIVES ME.. R SO BURNED IN TO MY SOUL.. HE IS NOT PERFECT.. BUT I DO NOT ASK THAT OF HIM.. AND MY CLOSE FRIENDS KNOW THAT.. IM HAPPY AND R HAPPY FOR ME.. JUST HOPE IM BLESSED TO KEEP THAT IN MY LIFE.. AND I HOPE HE FEELS THE SAME WAY.. KISSES AND HUGS AND TO MY FRIENDS.. THANK U THANK U THANK U FOR ALWAYS BEING THERE.. KISSES AND HUGS LOVE YA i wrote this jan 07.. man things have really changed
so the above pic is of my friend Christi .... can you say "oh la la"??? hehehe ....... yep a major hottie ...... but once again the shell eye candy but she is an amazing and beautiful soul inside .... her adversity to life and situations has moved me in ways that idk how to even describe she's gone through some tradegy lately ..... but I think at this hardest time in life her soul burned the brightest .... she showed me ways and feelings at this stage in life I never felt for anyone or anything in my life other than maybe me she has this wild personality .... LOL ...... but I say its one I've come to enjoy ..... I just wish she didn't live so far away cuz I swear she'd make great friend material ... plus the eye candy issue hehehe her ranges vary from shy and reserved .... to asking questions and figuring out little pieces of life and lifestyles and the way ppl think ..... to just being that wild child parents don't wanna see on those Girls Gone Wild vids LOL ...... her personailty is by far what I've picked up on throughout the short friendship I've had with her she can go from dealing with her life to just hanging out and being there for friends ..... she's kind yet selfish ..... stary eyed but well grounded ...... the girl next door but the big party girl .... she can be anything she wants to be ..... and thats what I love about her personality and soul she's the mother of 2 boys (lucky them right? hehehe) ..... yep mother of 2 and she still looks this yummy LOL ...... married for 5 years I believe ..... the lucky bastard lmao ...... she's amazing when it comes to dealing with family ... and doing what she can for friends ... her nickname/screen name is Angel .... and honestly sometimes I think I can see her halo I just find Christi amazing in so many ways cuz she is such an innocent soul in this world ..... yet she can be hard as a rock ...... I can honestly say I'm glad I've met her AND I'm thankful for the nights I've spent with her online ... I don't think anyone could ask for a warmer body with the heart that absorbs the world in one glance ..... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

who i am

i am kind, sweet, loving and i have alot of compassion for others.. i am smart and wel rounded.. haha im full of life and passion.. i am artistic in art and in music.. i am me blod yet shy.. smart but act stupid some times.. joyfull but with a saden heavy soul.. lougd but quite.. strong but weak.. im a smile that lights a room just the one that can hide in the shadows.. i am many things.. my heart is the thing i live in.. i take it with me with every step.. my heart stays hurt.. seeming never to be fixed.. i am me cause of the things that have came to my life. my heart is my grandparents.. i am this person cause of them.. my pain came with me as i live this world.. always helping other but can never help my self.. i have loved many.. yet only a handfull keep my heart.. yet time and time. i get hurt.. yet time and time ppl like to hurt me cause im good or casue of my looks.. an all i see in that mirrow now.. is just a silly girl.cute yet misticel.. my eyes are the window to my soul.. they tell all.. show all.. if you look you can see my true feeling.. if i have told you i love you.. i mean it.. if i tell you its a forever love i can't break from i mean it.. an only one has been told that.. now where is he.. not here left again.. he comes and goes from time to time.. never saying goodbye.. just walks away.. to here i sit in tears wondering y not stay with me.. is all that i am wrong.. to be strong in my sexual being.. to be strong in my mind and feels.. to know how i feel and not question my view on it.. is it wrong to be there no matter what.. to always be a good friend to some one.. is it wrong to wait for them.. my grandparents had a good love yet tough like all.. but you could see in there eyes they loved one another.. i wonder being she has just left.. how she could leave and not be scared to go.. to not have to worrie about seeing our father and her man there waiting for her.. she has such faith to do this.. yet i am scared to leave.. scared to leave with out that love that was forever.. will i have it i hope one day.. maybe god will grant me the right to be happy more then i am.. to love some one that loves me for me.. just like my granddad love her as she was.. i am her yet she found hers.. now let me have mine.. my heart is breaking cause you are not here.. you are but your not.. and all i want is you.. my heart says so .. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ wrote in dec of 06

Mr Right

ME AND MR RIGHT !!! MY IDEAL MATCH my ideal match is enthusiastic, motivated and open-minded. In fact, he's even open to breaking the rules sometimes. He's also very innovative and jumps at the chance to take on new projects. He's be very serious at times, but he's also very popular. my ideal man is refreshingly down-to-earth, and is in tune with experiences as they're happening. ME i am warm, knowing and aren't afraid to go after my goals. i tend to be patient with people, too. And if that weren't enough, i pretty much set the standard for emotional health by being filled with positive feelings and energy - energy i radiate out onto those around me. ME AND MR. RIGHT my ideal sexual partner is a very passionate person who knows how to fully enjoy sex. He has a highly active sex drive and imagination when it comes to trying new sexual moves. And these characteristics set him up for having intense and pleasurable sexual encounters that bring him much satisfaction -- even if they don't include orgasm. More than most people, he knows how to value the pleasures of sexuality and is not afraid to pursue those feelings when the timing is right. i am very passionate person who knows how to fully enjoy sex. i have a highly active sex drive and imagination when it comes to trying new sexual moves. And these characteristics set me up for having intense and pleasurable sexual encounters that bring me much satisfaction -- even if the focus isn't on orgasm. More than most people, i know how to value the pleasures of sexuality and are not afraid to pursue those feelings when the timing is right. I TOOK THIS TEST ON LOVE HAPPENS AND THIS IS WHAT IT TELLS ME.. HAHA HUGS EVERY ONE

what is love?

i have a friend that wrote this on his page.. but its so true and to what we all want.. that it touched me so much.. so i want you all to read it too.. and tell me how you feel about that kind of love and if you are one of the lucky ones that have had it.. hugs every one xoxox ~~~STALLION~~~ YOU ROCK SWEETIE.. It hurts to love someone and not be loved in return, but what is most painful is to love someone and never finding the courage to let the person know how you feel. May be God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one so that when we finally meet the right person, we should know how to be grateful for that gift. Love is when you take away the feeling, the passion, the romance - and you find out you still care for that person. A sad thing about life is when you meet someone that means a lot to you, only to find out in the end, that it was never bound to be and you just have to let go. When one door of happiness closes, another opens but often we look so long at the closed door that we don't see the one which has been opened for us. The best kind of friend is the one you could sit on a porch, and swing with, never say a word, and then walk away feeling like that was the best conversation you've had. It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives. Giving someone all your love is never an assurance that they'll love you back, don't expect love in return, just wait for it to grow in their hearts but if it doesn't, be content it grew in yours. There are things you love to hear but you would never hear it from the person from whom you would like to hear it, but don't be deaf to hear it from the person who says it with his heart. Never say good-bye when you still want to try , never give up when you still feel you can take it, never say you don't love that person anymore when you can't let go. Love comes to those who still hope, even though they've been disappointed, to those who still believe , even though they've been betrayed, need to love those who still love even though they've been hurt before. It takes a minute to have a crush on someone, an hour to like someone and a day to love someone, but it takes a lifetime to forget someone. Don't go for looks, it can deceive, don't go for wealth, even that fades away. Go for someone who makes you smile because only a smile makes a dark day seem bright. Hope you find that person. There are moments in life when you really miss someone that you want to pick them from your dreams and hug them for real. Hope you dream of that someone. Dream what you want to dream, go where you want to go, be what you want to be, cause you have only one life and one chance to do all the things you want in life. May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human, enough hope to make you happy and enough money to buy me gifts Always put yourself in other's shoes. If you feel that it hurts you, it probably hurts the person, too. A careless word may kindle strife, a cruel word may wreck a life, a timely word may level stress, a loving word may heal and bless. The beginning of love is to let those we love be perfectly themselves, and not to twist them with our own image, otherwise, we love only the reflection of ourselves we find in them. The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything they just make the most of everything that comes along their way. Happiness lies for those who cry, those who hurt, those who have searched and those who have tried. For only they can appreciate the importance of people who have touched their lives. Love starts with a smile, develops with a kiss and ends with a tear. The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past, you can't go on well in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches. When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling, live your life so that when you die, you're smiling and everyone around you is crying. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ the good things is my friend found his true love.. an she is wonderful and they are all very happy..

so fuckin borded

1. Start Time - 2:08am 2. Name: christy 4. Astrology sign - aries 5. Gender - female 6. Hair color - redish brown with copper high lights 7. Heritage - french, indian, irish, german, polish, cajun 8. Eye color - brown 9: Nickname: chris, angel, rebelsangel, butterbean, ccc(candy coated christy) and bunny nose, and chrissy.. 10. Favorite color(s) - dodge blue, green, cotten candy pink, cherry red 11. Glasses - yes 12. Tattoos - yes one want more Where did 13 go?? umm erick you did this test not me haha 14. Hometown - jefferson county 15. Single or taken - very single 16. Sibling's name - Brothers and Sister, LOL *HAVE YOU EVER* 17. Cut your own hair? yes for a lng time now and my family and friends too 18. do something in the past month you regret? no 19: done something wrong, but enjoyed it anyway? yes and i got sick cause of it too.. haha 20. Skipped school? umm yes 21. Had sex? Yes 22. Bungee-jumped? I WISH wtf? 23 is missing too?? haha erick omgosh you 24. Punched someone? yes 25. Cheated on a test? yes 26. Been arrested? no but came close a couple of times haha 27. Broken into someone's house? no 28: Had a threesome? umm not saying shhhhhhhhh 29: Sang in public? hell yea love too 30. Been rejected? yea some 31. Been to a funeral? who hasn't? 32. Used a lighter? yes 33. Been on stage? yes i have to sing loved it such a high *FAVORITE* 34. Season - fall 35. Food - hmmm, not really sure. i just like good food 36. Ice cream flavor - don't have one 37: clothing: jeans and a t shirt if i have to put clothes on.. 38. Candy - not a candy person but i like truffles 39. Breakfast cereal- no not for me 40. Person: i have some one 41. Book - Anne Rule 42. Movie(s)- brotherhood of the wolf and Boondock Saints and alot more 43. Song - tell you later 44. Park - um the one down the street isn't to bad...wtf kind of question is this?? and once more a number is missing, no 45!!!erick where did you get this test ?haha 46. Place - out by the lake on a nice fall day feeling the wind blow through myhair and just taking the sunset in 47. Sport to watch on TV - perfer to play over watch, but I dig Hockey 48: Dressing: blue chesse hey fuck you its good for you 49: Thing on the opposite sex? his eyes,I love beautiful passionate eyes! 50. Letter - G 51. Disney movie - DON'T HAVE ONE 52. Disney princess - Pocahontas 54. Name for a son - ryle or joshua 55. Name for a daughter- don't have one.. never thought i would have a girl just all boyz *DO YOU PREFER* 56. Chocolate or vanilla? vanilla you can do more to it 57. Alcoholic or non? Non, i do drink 58. Long relationships or one-night stands? long relationships 59. Dogs or cats? dogs 60. Scary movies or comedies? i like them both 61. Short or long hair? does not matter 62. Croutons or bacon bits? both *FIRST THINGS THAT COME TO MIND* 64. Mexicans -food 65. School - need to go back 67. Cows - meat 68. Canada - maple leaf 69. Mouse - computer mouse *THE PAST 3 DAYS, HAVE YOU* 70.Had sex? yes 71. Talked on the phone? yep 72. Watched a movie? yep 73. Cried? yes, got up set 74. Smoked Pot? no 75. Drank a glass of water? 1 76. Done drugs? yes but just weed 77. Read a book or magazine? no 78. Watched TV? yes tonite CSI 79. Looked in the mirror? umm yea 80. Taken a shower? yes 81. Taken a picture? no 82. Listened to music? yeah 83. Told someone you love them? yea 84. The time it is now: 2:12am

Tell Me The Truth

1. what is your 360 name? 2. are we connected friends? 3. when and how did we meet? 4. do you have a crush on me? 5. would you kiss me or want me to kiss you? 6. give me a nick name, and explain why you picked it? 7. describe me in one word?( if you can) 8. what was your first impression of me? 9. do you still think that way about me? 10. what reminds you of me? 11. if you could get me to do any thing you want, what would it be? 12. how well do you think you know me? 13. ever wanted to tell me something but were to shy? 14. when's the last time you thought about me?

my light

your light the way your light touched me.. the way you could make me feel every thing again.. like i was dead, and your light shined on my face and brought me back.. how great it was to have that light to see every day.. and for a time there it was wonderful.. - some bumps in the road.. i could see the light faid after time.. thinking it was me.. thinking that i was the reason your light was not shining any more.. how i would cry every nite hoping your light would not stop for me.. you where my bestest friend.. how high i had you up there.. you where the sun and i was the flower.. your light helped me to grow and see what others saw in me.. then the light stopped.. no longer was it faiding but it stopped.. i could no longer see.. my light was gone.. here i was in the dark.. scared and worried about my light.. and here i am , still in the dark.. there are some light far off.. but the sun is gone.. i find my self going back to that nite you left.. my dearest friend.. how hurt i was to see you go.. how i wanted to hate you for leaving me alone.. how your promises ment nothing any more.. i faid away from time to time.. seeing your face in the far away light.. seeing that you will never come back.. i try to breath now.. i try to take my next steps in life.. with out my light.. one day i will find my place.. you will alway have a place in my heart.. you are a light i never wished to go out.. but for you my dear friend.. may you find your light at the end of the road.. i pray one day you will see again.. just like i pray i will too.. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ i wrote this one in sept of 06 its about my best friend..
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