Shadowwolf's blog: "Male/Female interaction, or why do we do what we do."

Tomorrow is Valentine's day, and once more I feel compelled to state the truths behind the holiday. 1) Valentine's day was not celebrated until businesses figured out there was no holiday between Christmas and Memorial day... So they decided to create one. 2) Valentine's day is that wonderful holiday when you are forced to go out and buy someone you love some expensive gift to prove your love. It dont matter that you have put up with their quirks, moods, insecurities, and all that other crap one deals with in a relationship, now you got to shell out cash. 3) Valentine's day is a holiday that puts conditions on unconditional love. 4) Valentine's day is also the day that is used to show people how you really think about them* 5) Valentine's day is just one more excuse to shell out cash in order to buy someone's affection. Finally, since it is expected for men to use cash in order to prove their devotion, why not carry it one step further, guys, just buy a mail order bride, I mean if you gonna use money to buy love, at least get your dollar's worth. *see Al Capone, St. Valentine's day massacre

And not in a nice way, how somebody can just jump in and ask the question "looking for a girlfriend/boyfriend?" after just a couple of posts in a chat room or shout box. The most glaringly obvious problem with this is that the person being asked may be the real life version or Hannibal Lector or the reincarnation of Jack the Ripper. (I am neither of these, because I am the reincarnation of Macsen Wellig... or Myrrdyn one of the two) and yes the previous was a sarcastic shot. The next thing that happens, at least in my case, is that when I tell a lady exactly what my future holds, the immediate response is "I will be there to help you." There is two problems with the above statement, 1) there is no way in hell the lady has any idea what she is saying, and 2) she has no clue as to just what that may entail. It is the same as someone with no experience with white water saying, "I am going down the grand canyon in a kayak and no guide." Dealing with a disabled individual on a daily basis is hard enough, just ask any nurse. But to deal with one that has been what has been called adventurous, daring and working hard his entire life is going to be next to impossible. People like me have a hard time accepting what is coming. Yes, I can say the prognosis is that I will be in a wheelchair within 5 or 10 years. That does not mean that I accept the fact. Nor does it mean that I always follow the doctor's rules now. In other words, dealing with a stubborn, mule headed, self created idiot is no picnic. It would take a strong woman to even realistically consider it, and then she has to be ready for anything, i.e, hope for the best but expect the worst.

Ok, so someone does you dirty, the immediate phrase out of your mouth will be one of these two, depending on gender or preference: Men stink! Women stink! along with various variations that include the words, jerk, bitch, bastards, asshole, c---s, wh--res, etc. (look I refuse to call women by those two words, and I will refuse to print those words simply because i feel it shows the greatest lack of respect to the gender.) Now, in using generalized statements such as these, you only make yourself look foolish. Granted, you are angry at someone, but not the entire gender. Now, would it not be simpler to take out an add in the local paper, put the person's name in it, phone number and list his/her misdeeds for all the locals to read? Not only would it make you feel better, but according to the latest statistics, at least 60% of any given market reads the classified ads. All you have to do is headline it in someway to catch the readers attention. This tactic was actually used by a female in New York, and the resulting catastrophic impact to her ex's social life was beyond description. Not only did strangers read the ad, but co-workers (he was a lawyer) his secretary, who promptly quit, and his boss, (female.) Now, I will admit to the fact that the males of the human species can make some really stupid errors, but so can the females. It takes one thoughtless action to really foul things up.

First thing I have to ask, is just what is wrong with painting a bathroom in a camouflage paint scheme? I mean everyone does the white, yellow, blue bathrooms, why follow the crowd? Secondly, what is wrong with astroturf as a floor covering,? All you have to do is hose it down once a week. How about house furniture made out of replica civil war ammo boxes and officer chests? Or the kitchen table and chairs done to look like the back of a chuck wagon, with a small refrigerator in it for ketchup and stuff, the various drawers for silver ware, glasses etc? Or maybe using surplus aircraft web seats for living room furniture, just to bring back memories of when you were young and wore army green... and jumped out of perfectly good aircraft. And the bench seats out of helicopters for a couch? What is wrong with designing a bedroom along the same lines as a bunker? I mean, bedroom door, immediate right or left turn, down a 15 foot hallway, followed by another turn into the bedroom proper, and the foot thick walls are perfect for sound proofing. As for the house itself, why not build it so that it so that the floor is four foot below grade? The walls are two feet thick, with a earth back filled along the exterior. The roof two foot thick with another two foot of earth on top of that? Windows designed so that the outer part of the window opening is larger than the inner part, and the walls angle in to meet the interior window opening. Not to mention using a lexan sandwich to make the windows, 1 inch thick lexan, followed by a brass mesh then another inch thick plane of lexan. (the brass mesh will tie into the brass mesh running through the walls turning the entire home into a faraday cage... i.e impervious to Electro Magnetic Pulse) Finally, build the house with air and water purification systems, including a well within the house walls. Wouldn't hurt to make the house so that it could use a combination of wind and solar for electricity.....

Ladies, why not admit it, when you say that, "You wish you could find a nice guy that isnt a complete jerk to have a relationship with." you really mean, "I wish I could find a nice guy that isnt a complete jerk because I want a big/little brother to cry on their shoulder." Now, i have a few female friends that are like my sister, and I have no problems with that. HOWEVER, when someone brings a lady around to introduce her to a 'nice' guy, who isnt a jerk, us nice guys end up with another frigging sister! I mean, when I was younger, boozed, partied, partook of chemical substances in search of the meaning of the universe, and was basically your typical scum bag, I had more women than I knew what to do with... AND many of them were those respectable types who liked something on the wild side. And you cant get much wilder than a biker/hotrodder type with an attitude against everything, who wore caps that said stuff like, "I dont date women who use four letter words, like dont, quit and stop" Now that I have settled down in my old age, and have discovered what is really important, the only way I am gonna get a woman to look at me with more than brotherly love is to win the lotto and then make a few hundred million in the stock market. Now, ladies, if you really want a nice guy, then stop turning him into your damn brother. Slap a flying liplock on the boy that rocks his world and makes him forget his name, the name of the current president, AND any woman that he may have had the slightest interest in. OTHERWISE, JUST INTRODUCE YOURSELF AND ASK "ARE YOU BROTHER MATERIAL?"

Funny thing about experiences, they basically create who you are.... So, when friends tell me I need to get a life, or find someone to share my life with, I give them the basic answers and then change the subject. Of course, I only have maybe five true face to face friends. I know a lot of people online, but have made no contact with them in the real world... nor am I in a rush to do so. You see, to find someone to be involved with, you have to be willing to go somewhere that you can actually meet people, which is something that scares the crap out of me. My life consists of two acres, doctors offices, the shrink, and the occasional sedated trip to Walmart. When I say sedated, I mean sedated, as in the lights are on, but aint no one home. Sometimes I go to the very UNpopular stores that have these old fashioned things referred to as books, where I rarely see more than 10 people in the store. You see, I suffer from a social anxiaty disorder, basically once outside my comfort zone, I am not very functional. Therefore, meeting people is damn near impossible. Of course, someone is sure to say, invite them to your home.... Well, in today's world, aint no way any lady is gonna chance going to a place outside the city limits to meet some guy for the first time. Simple social paranoa brought on by the society we live in. Serial Killers, rapists, freaks of every type hit the news at least once a week, so this creates an atmosphere of distrust. It is therefore totally impractable for someone to tell me I need to meet someone. If I met em in public, I would be a basic tranqed zombie, and they sure wont come to me. So, while everyone may mean well when they tell me to find someone, you really have to understand where I am coming from. After being in some really bad places around the globe, as well as working in 'safe' enviroments here in the states, my brain is pretty much scrambled.

Have you ever noticed that men and women seem to speak different languages? I mean they sound the same, but the worlds have different meanings, for example: If a woman says, "I would like your help in the yard." the translation is, "I have decided that I am redoing the landscaping in one weekend and I need you to do all the heavy lifting." If a man says, "I need your help in the yard." the translation is, "I want someone to stand in the shade while I mow and hold my beer." If a woman says, "We need to spend more time together." it translates as, "We are going shopping and you are carrying all the bags." If a man says, "We need to spend more time together." it translates as, "None of my fishing/hunting buddies can get off for a weekend trip to the woods." Then there are other things that pop up. Not dealing with language, but finding alternative uses for various things. Take a home dishwasher for example. The water hits a good 180 to 200 degrees. So, put in some good dishsoap, place two heads or an intake manifold inside, turn it on, and BINGO, instant degreaser.... Why women get upset about that I have no idea. The thing with the bulb on one end that you squirt a turkey with is also very good at getting oil into a hard to reach spot. And why do women get all bent out of shape when they come home and find you have stored everything to an engine but the block under the bed? And what is wrong with cleaning a shotgun every time a guy comes over to pick up your daughter on a date?

People say that it is just a new thing that love is no more than a word, and it means nothing. However, I disagree. Love still has meaning, but the word has always been used to further the ends of a member of one sex or another. Take Henry V, the play by Shakespeare (yes I read the classics) In the last scene he is trying to convince princess Katherine of France he loves her. Not only is there a language barrier, but Katherine aint the dumb nobel lady you might think. My favorite quote of hers is; "O bon Dieu! les langues des hommes sont pleines de tromperies." Now our good king Henry knows enough french to understand, but he asks for confirmation. "What says she, fair one? That the tongues of men are full of deceits?"

While I cant speak for every male on the planet, but in my opinion, a mature male is attracted to a woman on many levels, the more mature, the less the physical is important. That is not to say that the things that caught our eye when we were young disappear, they just become less important, except for those things that seem to drive all common sense from our brains. Take me for instance, I have a weakness for deep soulful eyes, no matter what the color, a nice smile, and the final nail in my coffin is an irish or scot accent, and depending on the region, a southern american accent is just as hypnotic. While I can keep my wits about me if a woman has only one of those attributes, I am sunk if they are in combination, and if all three is present, my brain turns to mush. I always look at a woman's eyes and smile first, because you can tell what kind of person she is with those two things. A tight smile is a warning that she is a bit short tempered and hard to please, lackluster eyes, and she has lost heart in too many things, and so forth. The problem today is that both men and women have gotten jaded. Too many times a relationship that is salvagable is thrown away because it needs more work and commitment. But there are a few of us old guys who still find the idea of a long term, lifetime partnership appealing, if we could ever get pick the right one. But, guys, I will tell you this, if you are just looking at how a woman is built, you fail to see the whole woman. To put it another way, look at a woman like you would look at a blue water sail cruiser. Her strength inside, her heart and soul is just as important as her lines. Many a vessel with good lines have sunk becuase there was no strength inside, or the heart and soul of the boat were negelected. Please remember ladies, ships, blue water sailing cruisers are referred to as she. Men who spend any length of time on the sea can see that boats are like people. They have thier own personality, thier own preferences, likes and dislikes, and above all, if you listen, they will speak to you, and if you dont listen, that boat is gonna let you down. Taking care of a nice sloop or schooner is not work, it is a labor of love, just like taking care of a woman, the pleasure is the same. For a man and woman are partners, just like a sailor and his vessel. Two halves that make a whole.