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Isis Darkblade's blog: "Lust and Love"

created on 03/23/2007  |  http://fubar.com/lust-and-love/b67453
Love has many ways of returning. When you think you're heart is broken and you can no longer find love or you do find love but not sure they are right for you, then you find out that an old flame wants you back and you still have that love for them. Then you decide to go back with them. That is what I have decided to do. I have decided to give it another go with Andrew. The first time we went out things weren't good cause people were causing so much drama and so I had ended it with him the first time cause of those people. But this time, I am not letting anyone get in the way again. You can't mess around with Love. When you love someone so much, you try hard to not let them go and to keep them to yourself. That is what I am doing this time with Andrew. I'm not letting him slip away again. I love him and have always loved him and will continue to do so. No one can tell me who I can and can not date. He has changed as have I and we have begun rekindling our love and no one will get in our way like the last time. Certain people who I won't name think by saying things to me they can get what they want, but not this time. Andrew is mine and I am his. So please do not try and stop us, cause you will get hurt in the end. You will feel the pain that we've been through. Andrew is the love of my life and I know when the time is right we will be united as one. And we will have a family of our own. Andrew means the world to me,without him I am lost. He's my world! ANDREW KUNZEMAN I LOVE YOU ~Sheena

Fuck Off Guys I'm TAKEN!

I swear why is it that guys can never leave me alone when I tell them I am taken and what not. It seriously pisses me off! they will never have a chance with me. I am with the man of my dreams and these other guys need to stop saying what they would do to me and shit. I don't want to hear it! Why can't they see I am happy with the one I have? I am not a random fuck or a friend with benefits. Go find some whore or slut to do that with. I know a couple of whores you could go fuck with and leave me alone. Assholes are never getting any of this. I love Andrew and he loves me and there is nothing anyone can do to break us up. Andrew is the one I'm going to marry and have kids with. So all you other men leave me the fuck alone!GRRR....

Hurting

Deep down inside I'm hurting. People may think that I'm a happy person, but the truth is Im actually hurting. Some think Im a bitch and Im not. If you actually gave me the chance you would find that Im the sweetest person you'll ever meet. People are too fucking judgmental and assume things that are nothing but lies. If people continue to believe others and what they say bout me, then you obviously do not know the real me. Did any of you ever stop and think that maybe you are the ones being the assholes and bitches and coming up with such bullshit huh? I am a sweet person that is really hurting. I give people my all and loyalty and I get treated like shit in the end. I am tired of being hurt and stabbed in the back. I lay in my bed at night crying cause I try to please everybody but I don't get no respect or any recognition. I am tired of people treating me like shit. I am a friendly person and I don't tolerate being used. Do not use me to get to my other friends cause you will see the evil side of me and she does not play nice. Im tired of guys using me as nothing but a random fuck. I fucking have feelings and I deserve to be treated well and with respect. No I do not give head and no I will not do it. You men need to think with your brain not your dicks! That's why girls leave you cause all you guys want is sex 24/7 and Im sorry but Im not giving that to you. I want a serious relationship with a guy that will respect my wishes and love me for who I am and not judge me or cheat on me with skinny ass whores and sluts. Im sorry but Brunettes really do have more fun than blondes. The blondes I've went to school with were nothing but whores and slept around and got stds cause they weren't careful. Also know some brunettes that did the same thing skinny girls I know down here are whores. So what if Im not skinny I mean look at Queen Latifah and Monique they're not skinny and they get guys, so I should be able to as well. Guys need to realize them skinny girls are not worth it you need a girl that has some meat on her. And I have some meat on me! Im tired of talent/model agencies being so fucking baised! fuckin losers! I am so hurt right now! I NEED SOME LOVING AND A GUY WHO WILL ALWAYS BE THERE FOR ME NO MATTER WHAT AND WILL SETTLE DOWN WITH ME AND HAVE A FAMILY. I SO LONG TO HAVE A FAMILY OF MY OWN AND YEA A RELATIONSHIP IS NOT BASED ON FUCKING SEX IT'S BASED ON LOVE AND COMMITTMENT!!!GET USE TO IT GUYS!!!

Surrender

I'm on my way I'm on my way to lose it all I'm a stranger to myself, I can't go on I'm all outta space And I'm surrounded by the wall I believe that my mind has caught a million storms Falling down When you lose all that you are [refrain:] I surrender I kneal down I surrender... I'm outta faith I think I'm frail design of life Deep inside in denial The shades have grown in silence I hide my face I close my eyes Deep inside in my mind the pain has corner around me Falling down When you lose all that you are [refrain 2 (2x):] I surrender I kneal down I'm dying to find the reason to hold on Call the lies! Call the lies! I surrender... [refrain] [refrain 2]

Passions Killing Floor

It's poetry carved in flesh This beautiful hell of ours To the deadliest sin we confess (Tears of joy fill our eyes) We are saved with its bigotries My out-there prophecies of doom My heart's a graveyard, baby And to evil we make love On our passion's killing floor In my arms, you won't sleep safely And of lust we are reborn On our passion's killing floor At the first kiss the seeds of hatred are sewn Back into darkness we flee (To tear our hearts out) We are saved where all fates fail The light inside of our tomb My heart's a graveyard, baby And to evil we make love On our passion's killing floor In my arms, you won't sleep safely And of lust we are reborn On our passion's killing floor My heart's a graveyard, baby And to evil we make love On our passion's killing floor In my arms, you won't sleep safely And of lust we are reborn On our passion's killing floor (My heart's a graveyard, baby) My heart's a graveyard, baby On our passion's killing floor (In my arms, you won't sleep safely) And to evil we make love On our passion's killing floor Forever more. . .

What Do I Have To Do?

You make it hard to breathe It's as if I'm suffocating And when you're next to me I can feel your heartbeat through my skin It makes me sad to think This all could be for nothing I wish there was a way For you to see inside of me I've never felt this way About anyone or anything Tell me What do I have to do to make you happy? What do I have to do to make you understand? What do I have to do to make you want me? And, if I can't make you want me What do I have to do? I know exactly what you're thinking But I swear this time I will not let you down I'm not as selfish as I used to be That was a part of me that never made me proud Right now I think I would try anything Anything at all to keep you satisfied God I hope you see what loving you would do to me All I want is one more chance, so tell me... What do I have to do to make you love me?

Last Waltz

Make me blind Cover my eyes You can do what you want I'm paralyzed by the perfect mood When we're dancing with blindfolds on You make it easy to love you and hate you I can't explain it, I feel insecure Say it simple: "You die just to live again." You say we're waiting for the waltz Another you and me Another revolutionary heavenly romance Waiting for the last waltz And so it seems We won't find the solution Confusion leads the dance We're waiting for the last waltz Praise the wine So divine And it stings like a rose Allow the night to flow inside Open the window and let the wind blow Highlight of the night is the unhappy ending You keep refusing to answer my calls Drop the bending and stop the pretending You say get ready for the last waltz Another you and me Another revolutionary heavenly romance Waiting for the last waltz And so it seems We won't find the solution Confusion leads the dance We're waiting for the last waltz I belive that no one in this world has the answers for me But still I hope that someone has heard [orchestra solo] Ohhh you and me Another revolutionary heavenly romance Waiting for the last waltz And so it seems We won't find the solution Confusion leads the dance We're waiting for the last waltz Song:Last Waltz Artist:The Rasmus Album: Into

Do Vampires Really Exsit?

Many claim that they have had encounters with vampires, while others think that they don't exsit. But how do you explain the empty grave of Vlad the Impaler or Countess Bathory bathing in virgin blood? Are these made up tales? I believe that vampires are real and that they are amongst us, you just wouldn't recognize one. They won't go up to you and say "I'm a vampire!" They would blend in with us. I myself, feel at times like I'm being watched or stalked by one. They stay hidden so I don't see them, but I have a feeling that they are watching me for a reason.You may think I'm crazy but I know what I feel, cause I've had dreams about it. Common Characteristics (may not apply to all real vampires) You might be a vampire if... * You have a strong desire for and/or Stimulation by blood (sexual, revitalizing or otherwise) * You have a nameless craving that can never quite be fulfilled * People you get close to tend to become tired, weary and upset a lot around you * People tend to find you interesting at first, then begin to avoid you * Even when surrounded by others, you always feel alone * Sunlight/bright light in general hurts your eyes (but you can go out in it, even so) * You tend to be a night person by nature (because you may feel more comfortable and "alive" at this time) * You have had a strong interest in vampires(in any aspect of the genre) probably since puberty onwards * You have had a strong interest in vampires since a traumatic event occured in your life * You don't get sick often, or if you do, the maladies are often strange or severe * You are a fast healer * Sex tends to leave you feeling revitalized and full of energy * You have drank blood before or would like to, if you could * You enjoy imbibing sexual fluids because of the vitality they contain * Electrical appliances and you don't generally tend to get along well (watches stop often, computers malfunction for no reason, microwaves start up by themselves, etc) * You prefer rich fabrics, tastes, scents etc. * You are very sensitive to sensory extremes (strong scents, rough textures, sour tastes,etc) * You feel totally different on some elemental,intuitive level to most other human beings * You feel you don't belong in this century, maybe even this world * You believe in reincarnation and maybe even have had past life visions * Your dreams are often extremely vivid and sometimes result in cases of deja vu * You easily "trance out" or find yourself detached from the world * You posess an ability similar to ESP (or are highly intuitive in general) * People often find you very empathetic to how they feel * People often either trust you completely or think you are very dangerous. * Your style of clothing tends to be more on the dramatic side * Your relationships tend to be very rocky and emotionally unstable * Your relationships tend to be very intense and passionate * People tell you that you are too intense/an "enigma"/"dark hole"/add similar phrase here * You look younger than you are (when you're beyond twenty years of age) or look older than you are (when you are younger than 20 yrs of age) * You can see and/or read auras * Animals tend to get along well with you * You have good, natural "magickal" abilities (if you do spells, etc, usually they work) * You have only one or two friends/lovers who really understand you and whom you get along with * When you will things to happen, they usually do * You can often easily tell how other people are feeling * You feel sick/get rashes/etc in the daytime when the sun is shining * (you're a woman) Your period starts late in the day and your cycle is usually timed to the full moon * You suffer from allergies Common Misconceptions and their realities * Misconception: Vampires are seductive, powerful, hypnotic creatures * Reality: Vampires are just like everyone else, although generally tend to have more intense, charismatic personalities. * Misconception: Vampires don't need jobs * Reality: Vampires need to earn a living just like everyone else. They hold all types of jobs from the mundane to the exciting, just like everybody else also. * Misconception: Vampires are physically immortal and/or undead * Reality: Vampires are physically mortal, with immortal souls. Vampires live normal lifespans and normal lives and have never, at any point in their physical life, died and risen from the grave. * Misconception: Vampires are repelled by garlic/crosses/roses/etc * Reality: Vampires can eat anything, are of all religions and the only time they might be repelled by a rose is if the thorn happens to prick them :) * Misconception: Vampires drink only blood * Reality: Vampires come in two types: The blood drinking type (sanguivores) and the energy absorbing type (psy-vamps). They, just like any other human, cannot survive without a regular diet of food and drink as well. * Misconception: Vampires are evil and know what they are doing is evil and wrong * Reality: Evil is a relative term, and there is no being on earth who can state with any validation what is good and what is evil. There are a great many evil humans out there too, anyway. Furthermore, not all vampires even know they are vampires...let alone contemplating whether their vampirism makes them good or bad. * Misconception: Vampires can't go out in sunlight * Reality: Vampires can go out in sunlight, it just generally tends to hurt their eyes and/or give them heat rashes/headaches or illness (to varied degrees) * Misconception: The only way a vampire can be killed is through sunlight/staking/add other fictional vampire-killing method here * Reality: Vampires can die of anything from bullets to AIDS to even a stake through the heart...just like any other human being. Sunlight; however, will not kill a vampire...this is a fictional device. * Misconception: Vampires sleep in coffins/wear capes/have fangs/ are extremely pale/cast no reflection/etc * Reality: Vampires are just like everyone else, as I've said. Many look, dress and live quite normally. None are borne with fangs (tho anyone and everyone can get fangs surgically implanted)...all cast reflections...and the only reason a vampire might be a tad paler than most is an avoidance of sunlight (if they are sensitive to it). * Misconception: Vampires are pretentious/arrogant beings who believe they are a superior race and who insist that everyone accept the fact of their existance. Vampires will, if necessary use threats and/or go mainstream (ie: appear on tv shows, in magazines, news casts, etc) to force people to believe in their existance. * Reality: For the most part, vampires are very easy-going and tolerant...well as much, that is, as any other human being on earth. Many will not force their beliefs on others or share with the world that they are a vampire, unless a specific individual asks and/or is interested in learning. If that individual still doesn't care to believe that the vampire is a vampire (and/or has a difficult time of understanding the concept of real vampirism vs, stereotypical fictional/folkloric vampirism) then the vampire will generally not force the issue further. Real vampires also will rarely go mainstream with their nature...in fact, most, if anything, set about to undo the negative connotations the vampiric community has received by the influence of those alleged "members" of the vampire community (who aren't really members) who have indeed gone mainstream and committed heinous acts of crime, etc. Vampires also will not go around making threats such as "Oh...I am a 400 year old vampire and if you don't surrender to me I will kill you, etc, etc). Most will even seek to debunk such fictionalized stereotypes. Furthermore, vampires generally also do not believe themselves a superior race, just a different race...if anything, they may have more of a deeper appreciation for life than do normal human beings. Basically, vampires tend to live by a "to each his own" motto...they will not judge your lifestyle/values/beliefs etc if you do not judge theirs.

Space Monkey

Space monkey in the place to be, Riding in a rocket to a planet of sound, Shooting the moon, playing Dominoes in drag An increase in population of a hundred percent Space monkey in the place to be, With a chemical peel and a picture of Mary Out on a limb in the carnival of me Raising the temperature one hundred degrees We're sown together, She's born to mesmer Beside, Astride her, I die inside her Space monkey in the place to be, A mass of contradiction in a golden frame Raising the roof in a calamity way Completely meretricious of a poke in the eye Space monkey in the place to be, Talk of the town with a Colombian rock Out on a limb in the carnival of me Raising the temperature one hundred degrees We're sown together, She's born to mesmer Beside, Astride her, I die inside her. It's far too sacred, Don't ever fake it, And don't, and don't, and don't let me down... Like you let me down before, Like you let me down before. Space monkey in the place to be, With some free-association and a hole in her head, Out on a limb in the carnival of me Raising the temperature one hundred degrees We're sown together, She's born to mesmer Beside, Astride her, I die inside her It's far too sacred, Don't ever fake it, And don't, and don't, and don't let me down... Like you let me down before, Like you let me down before, Like you let me down before, Like you let me down before.

Don't Know What to Do!

Too many times I've been hurt by those I've dated and it must stop. I'm tired of being mistreated. I am not a piece of ass or a fuck buddy. Sorry that is not the kind of girl I am. Seriously you fucking men need to start thinking with you're brain and not your dicks! I will never date a guy that wants sex 24/7 and someone to give them a BJ. I won't do it and I will not be controlled. I am tired of guys dating me and not really loving me. If you are going to be with me you have to love me for me and want to be with me and the whole nine yards or it's not going to work. People you need to fucking realize that a relationship is based on love,trust,honesty and committment. Sex is just a bonus. I will only date a guy that will love me for me and take me as I am and not control me. I'm a scorpio, you fuck with me and you will regret it. I've made those who I dated regret fucking with me. YOU DO NOT FUCK WITH A SCROPIO!!! WE DO NOT LIKE TO BE CONTROLLED AND FORCED TO DO THINGS. Seriously if a guy wants to date me he must posses the following qualities: -Good Personality -Good Sense of humor -Funny -Outgoing -Fun to be with -Down to Earth -Will always be there for me -Would go traveling with me and my gf to other countries and states -Generous -Sweet -Kind/Friendly -Assertive -Would do anything for me -Wants to have a family of his own -Has a good job -Has a car -Has a place of his own -Caring -Loving -Respectful -Trustworthy -honest -Would never cheat on me with another girl -Loyal -Doesn't Smoke -Isn't an Alcoholic -Has never been in jail -loves going to concerts, movies, and would go shopping with me. -Wants to be with me -Would never control me -Would move wherever I wanted to move. you don't have any of these qualities you are not worth my time. My heart can't take anymore heartache and heartbreak. You don't treat me right you will be gone in a flash!
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