Dear Ninja,
Que the sappy romantic movie music,grab some bon bons and a box of your favorite tissue. Let's set the time machine back to a few yrs ago (ok maybe 2 1/2 or so)....I met a woman on fubar. She was in a lounge and on cam. Of course all the guys were making remarks (nice cans, i'd tap that, etc - and they say wooing is dead but i digress). I noticed that she had 2 parrots behind her so me being a animal lover and all mentioned "nice birds". That set off a flurry of sb messages between me and her. Long story short we'd talk every day on fu, on the phone, text, smoke signals and morse code. I'd use carrier pigeons but i have cats, rim shot!
Anyways, She came to visit me and we hit it off right there and then. She spent a week here and we talked, watched movies, ate pizza and all that good stuff (mmmm pizza). So ff to a few months later. We decide to move in together. I fly out to middle america (not to be confused with middle earth...damn hobbits and all) and we drove back to mi casa.
SO....we lived together for 2 1/2 yrs, a few fights but mostly good things. I can say without a shadow of a doubt , I was (and still am) head over heels in love with her. My biggest bone with her is (or are or rather were) :
1. she didn't help with any of the bills, the bill paying onus was on me.
2. she was extremely moody
3. she didn't help with the apartment, ie cleaning, laundry , etc , that was all on me.
4. Grocery buying? Again compliments of moi.
I'm not good with confrontation but I finally said enough is enough and confronted her about it. We both decided that she since she was homesick and all (all being the 1-4 list) that she'd head back to her home but we'd have a long distance relationship.Which was fine by me..i guess. That lasted almost a yr until about 2 months ago when she , out of the blue says that it's not working for her. I was devastated. I was prepared to move from a highly populated area (NJ) to her small town in Idaho. Now if that doesn't say love, what does? (Well other than a 4 carrot diamond from debeers but i digress). We would talk as friends but it wasn't the same (although her moody attitude remained). Sufficed to say she ceased all communication with me, on fubar, texting, the phone,etc. I admit I'm still heartbroken. A day doesn't go by when I don't think about her. I know I should move up and on...I wish it was that easy?
Suggestions (other than drinking mass quantities of cheap beer?)
Thanks,
A fu guy
Dear fu guy,
Everything was great because you did everything for her. When you started expecting an equal relationship, that's when she bailed. It wasn't home-sickness, it was the fact that someone else back home would pick up where you left off.
When you get into a relationship (online or offline) always know exactly what you expect out of it. Most relationships end over money or sex. You got tired of footing the bill, and expected a little help, and she wasn't willing to be an equal partner.
Also, before you shack up with a stranger (and let's face it, she was), have everything ironed out as far as bills and shared responsibilities. That way, when you pitch a bitch about it later, she can't claim ignorance. Share household duties (i.e. you cook, she cleans, split chores, alternate who does laundry), and have reasonable expectations. If you pay all the bills, then the bitch should keep the house clean. That's fair. You got screwed buddy. Say "good riddance" and move on. There are much better women out there.
Good Luck
