ShandyRae's blog: "Love and Tolerance "

This is my first blog and I didn't really have a particular topic in mind before I started. I merely had the urge to write(type). I was bored. I am sure that never happens to any of you. :)

So in case you may not have been aware, I am Shandy and it's a pleasure to meet you. I am a 30 year old Woman. I am not a child and this is not high school. I am not entirely sure what my reputation is but I am sure that it precedes me.

When i decided I wanted to take the time to do this I had the urge to surround its basis on that of judgements and how we as a whole tend to harm one another. I am guilty of such things. Im human and completely fallible. However it is not how I choose to live my life. I sometimes sit here and wonder...who are you? What has happened in your life, which contributed to the person you are today. Were there struggles along the way, was there pain, joy? We all have our journeys which play a part in who we are and how we react and interact with other people. We all handle our feelings differently.

I see so much hostility on here and I wonder why, what is there to gain from that? Does bravado really matter so much? At the end of day what is accomplished? I am not sure how it is for anyone else, but I know that for me when I am angry or holding onto resentment, my entire being is engulfed in that and I am not at peace. Perhaps this is a bunch of mumbo jumbo, perhaps im talking out of my ass, or maybe...just maybe, I am insane? :)

There is this line from the "Desiderata" which I have always loved and it goes,"If you compare yourself with others,you may become vain or bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself." I do my best to not judge others cause what do I know? I don't know you. I know only me. I know that though I believe myself to be a good person, that there have been times when I have hurt others, when I have done things which I am not proud of. I am not better or no worse, for it is said that there is a little bit of good in the worst of us and a little bit of bad in the best of us. All beautiful in our own rights, all fallible, but above all else...all human.

Fubar and I have this love/hate relationship. I love that I have made a few true and loving friendships on here. There are women on here whom I would stand beside no matter what, and a couple men as well. There are a few people who I know and have come to know me and in turn I have come to love them. In the way that you would love a friend in the way you would love a person just because they are who they are, amazing and beautiful. Beautiful souls. In times of RL need they have been there for me. How amazing is that? To have people, that you have maybe never met, be willing to be your shoulder, your rock, your sounding board, is a truly amazing thing. I am a blessed woman to have them in my life.

The hate side of mine and fubars relationship stems souly from the drama. People who think they know me, or who look at me and come to their own conclusions in regards to the kind of woman I am. Or the people who thrive on attempting to hurt others. I dont understand it. Not sure that I ever will. I think assertive honesty to always be the best policy and there really isn't much of that here. There is a lot of selfish and self centeredness though. This isn't a judgement its an observation. It's an opinion. It's just my perception and perspective and that doesn't make it fact. It is what it is. It's what we make it.

Have I rambled on long enough? There are real relationships which can be had on this site. There is even love. Though I dont think it to be a good dating site, persay. It is hard to not form an intimate bond with someone and not love them. I have loved and I have lost. Life moves on, either im willing to move with it or I just sit here and look back. Today I am choosing to move with it. I choose to look forward. I trudge the road to happy destiny. I don't skip along that road naively...I trudge. It was nice sharing a few thoughts and feelings with whom ever chooses to read this. I think I just needed to talk for a bit.

May your days be bright and may you find gratitude in all the joys and miracles life has given.

From me to you...Take care.