i read a mumm today that was posted asking if people thought there was such a thing a true love. the best response i could come up with was if true love never existed then how would all the writers know how to portray true love in a movie? where would Shakespeare had gotten the romance of romeo and juliet. why would some of todays silver screen legends have passed the test of time and been married until their death? i believe its out there, i hope its out there, of course so does every other woman in the world. i think about true love all the time and contemplate its existence and there would be a lot of times that i told myself i just needed to cut my losses and go. i though i had true love at one point but that was just those blinders that were put over my eyes to see all the little things that was being done and said behind my back. i forgave my ex for a lot of stuff, stuff he doesnt even know i know, but im at the point where i am sad hes gone, he was my best friend for so long and he did give me the 2 biggest blessings i could have ever asked for, my boys. i had our whole lives planned out in my head, 2 maybe 3 kids, a little ranch house with a huge backyard, my ex and i doing work in the yard in the summer while the kids played as far as their minds would let them wonder and we knew that they were safe. but heres the big question...can you love somebody you have never come face to face with? you talk for hours on end, everything you wants he wants. he wants to offer you the world with asking nothing in return. i see in my mind now a different version of my life...this wonderful man who i absolutly think i am in love with, would love to be able to give him the family that he wants and fufill my own selfish dream of never having to hear those dreaded words again, "honey im not happy im leaving". as i run this senario over and over again in my hesd i keep stumbling into that box in my brain marked real life and damn how that box likes to follow me around, sticks its nose in my buisness just when i think i could be happy again. is it there? is the greatest love i have ever known waiting for me, standing behind him in line at the bank? passing by in a car on the freeway? is he right there, wanting me telling me everything i want to hear. ive put myself down way too long, its time i stand up and put my big girl panties on, since the sentiment fits so well. i am worthy of true love. i am deserving of a man who will be relentless in the pursuit of my happiness. i need the touch of a man that wants me and my body and i will give them to him in everyway i can. i want to look at his eyes in the morning and just know that his dreams were of me. i am a woman, a woman who has needsm wants, and desires. can this man be under my nose right now, could he be only a mouse click or text or phone call away? hes there, just when will i live out that most magical moment when we do meet and all i wanna do is wrap my arms around him and never let go. i want true love fairy tale style, with a twist of real life to keep me grounded. so what is true love, are you watching for it? are you praying it will come sooner than later? is that true love there disguised as a computer screen? when u see his face in real life remember all the things he promised you, hold him to that promise, and work so hard at living the love of the greats that you will never have to have make up sex, just making love that you can never get enough of, being taught new and different things you never knew but was afraid to ask...if i can tell you what i know and the new scenes playing in my head which would blow the love of titanic, the notebook, and romeo and juliet combined as one right outta earths reach, and attached with that, all the hurt and pain you ever received when even one person said you woudnt be good enough, i tell you now, i am good enough and cant wait...
