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I am so in love with a guy who doesn't know it, thats because i am afraid to show it. He would get upset if he knew how i feel. If i told him our friendship might have to end. Then i couldn't even have him as a friend. I hate how this all goes through my head. If only i could taste your sweet kiss, maybe then i would know about all this, I would know for sure this was true. But now all i can say is that i love you. So please give me just once chance to show you true, sweet love. I owe it to you, for all you do. You make me happy, upset and even sad. If only you'd look through my smile and see that my love for you was in denial, my friends all know i love you. But one question, " do you love me ? ". My heart is so happy whenever your near, but when your gone my eye gives a tear. My sadness for you is all so true, only because i truly love you. I want you to know, you brighten my day. Even when you stop just to say hey. Your smile so bright is what keeps me going, which keeps my love for you going. So please open your heart, my love for you will never die. even if i am only your friend. So show me the real guy of my dreams, or so now it seems. So please forgive me if i start to cry, but to me you are my one and only love. You can make me smile with just a hi, make me feel sad with the same goodbye. My stomach gets those silly little butterflies when ever i look deep into your soft eyes. For when we go our seperate ways, these of course are my sadder days, for not being with you is the worst thought of all. It makes my heartbreak. For you are the guy that makes my heart skip a beat, and with out you i seem incomplete. So please bare with me now, as i am only your friend, as i try to get this feeling to end. Please give me that one chance to show you true sweet love, for then you'd know my love for you is real.
May 19th 2008
He doesn't even know i love him, he doesn't know who i really am. He doesn't have time for me anymore. He talks to me, he dosen't listen to me. He doesn't know i cry over him, he never hears me. I am a girl to him thats all, nothing more. Yet i want more. He doesn't know i love him, for i can not show how i feel for him, yet i want more. Maybe one dayhe will look at me and see who i really am talking to him, and see me not as just another girl. But as his lover. Until then he doesn't know i love him.
Everytime i dream, he's always there. Everytime i see his face i can't explain what i'm feeling inside. Everytime we talk about friendships and things we have, i just want to hug him so tight, and never let him go. I want him to stay with me, by my side all the tim, but how can i ?. Everytime he feels down, i want to pick him up. Everytime he thinks he's alone i want to say, " i'm here beside you all the time". And everytime he tells me what he feels inside, he doesn't even know i love him so much. All the heartachs and qyestions in his heart, i want to say i've been loving you all along. So long that i can no longer hange on.
You've left me in a mess i can't sort through the pices of lies, and parts of the truth. But none of it matters because i have left and honestly speaking, i can't catch my breath. I'm stuck in a state of tears and frustration, angered at you and the whole situation. The only escape from this mind-numbing pain is leaving the place where your memories reamain. I'm haunted by your face wherever i go. Things you would've said, i already know i can play my life as if you're still here. But when i look up, your mirage disappears. I can see your smile, but just in my mind. The reality is harsh, and lifs so unkind. Now i am left with so much i just didn't say. Yet it doesn't matter anymore for another has taken your place.
April 10th 2009
All the words you said to me, that seemedto be so true, were nothingbut thoughtless lies, that i thought would never come from you. They seemd so real and seemed so true ! I was in love with you. But i should have known it was all an art, just another girl to add to your list of broken hearts. I wonder why i still think about you after all your lies and sweet talking words. I thought you cared. I could never be with you again, you lied to me. I've decided to let you go.
April 8th 2009
I sort of want to sit here, build a nice warm safe cacoon, live where no one can touch me. I'm feeling lonely and self-riteous, angry, defiant, and unsure, so bad i wouldn't go back, even though i miss the way things were. So here i go, just like you predicted, up and out, i'm taking off. Yes i think i deserve better. So this is goodbye.
april 6th 2009
You were my everything, the one i wanted to be with forever, but we can't be together. I will never forget you after all you've done for me and pulled me through. Now we both need to move on as we are now miles away, you'll never really be gone, in my heart you will stay. I'm starting all over again, i need to forget that part of my life. I know things will never be the same. Satying in contact with you would destroy me, now i have to pull myself through and no one here believs in me. So this is goodbye, please don't cry, just realize i have to say goodbye.
March 8th 2009
Today it rains like it never has before. Today the heavens opened up and all of its pain and suffering pour out. This is the start of many dark days to come. Today i lost my bestfriend and lover, i lost you. Thank you for being my friend, for always being you, for never giving up on me. I am sorry i have to hurt you, for i never meant to. I am sorry i fell in love with you, i am sorry i have to let you go. In my heart you will always be forever, where ever you may go you will always be with me because you are the one who belived in me.
Goodbye Forever My Love!
Dec 20th 2008
Everythings so silent, so many feelings, i don't have a choice. Crying so softly, so i can't be heard. Everythings so confusing, every little word. Asking myself is this how i feel. Closing my eyes on everything real. Wishing and praying, wanting to know why i care for you, why i can't let go ?. Eyes filled with tears, heart filled with fear, mind so confused. Why do i love you ?. Everyon's told me, i can't feel this way yet i still love you. I don't really want to say goodbye. I don't want to leave you, but now i have to go away, stay away from you forever. What we had was very special but now i have to go and leave you forever.
June 31st 2008
I want him with every part of my being. Thoughts of us together, make my whole day worth while.
I get shivers down my back when he says " hey baby"
Keeping my hope alive, that we'll someday be more. Wanting to make him understand, that he has the key to my heart.
I ach for his touch, my sweet desire, to feel my fingers intertwined with his.
I need him so much, does he need me just as much ?
June 10th 2008
