IDK but for some reason I feel so lost in my own head...I love my new home and Texas is great but there is just something a miss...I feel empty some how and everytime i think i fill that void it somehow never seems right...I want more from this life and dont know how to find it...No one is what they seem to be anymore and no one has any trust nor can they be trusted...it is a sick feeling...I want to not be so hard and cold on the inside but I cant let it down...How do i let it down!? Scars not visible to the naked eye but forever a reminder of what has been...how do you erase those?! Deep seeded hurt and sadness from days gone by alone or with some one but alone all the same....I dont know where to go from here...start my new job Monday...should be excited...no emotion...so drained...cant sleep cause my mind never stops and I am trapped there...Where is my happy place?!