I have noticed over the last several months that I don't like who I am becoming. I don't know if I have been this person for a while and am just noticing or if I'm only recently changing.
I am getting so angry. I take everything as a personal attack and become defensive. I am constantly on edge. I feel the stress and frustration building and it makes me feel constantly nauseous. I swear more at work then I used to, and i probably shouldn't at all. I've started realizing that I hate everybody i work with. Everyone in the company in some way or another has just pissed me off in some way or another, with the exception of a small handful.
I have to force myself not to tell people to go fuck themselves. I constantly want to pick up the closest mouse or cellphone and smash it into the wall across the room. And I have to talk myself out of the urge to just walk out in the middle of my shift and say fuck you all.
Its probably just a combination of my clinical depression and all the stress and frustration at work, but it so draining to feel like such an angry and evil person. To hate the way you feel but not seeming to be able to change it.
