racinfanatic88's blog: "lol"

* You ever heard the phrase, "May the force be with y'all."

* Your Jedi robe is camouflage.

* You have ever used your light saber to open a bottle of Bud Light.

* At least one wing of your X-Wings is primer colored.

* You can easily describe the taste of an Ewok.

* You have ever had a land-speeder up on blocks in your yard.

* The worst part of spending time on Dagobah is the dadgum skeeters.

* Wookiees are offended by your B.O.

* You have ever used the force to get yourself another beer so you didn't have to wait for a commercial.

* You have ever used the force in conjunction with fishing or bowling.

* Your father has ever said to you, "Shoot, son come on over to the dark side...it'll be a hoot."

* You have ever had your R-2 unit use its self-defense electro-shock thingy to get the barbecue grill to light up.

* You have a confederate flag painted on the hood of your land-speeder.

* You ever fantasized about Princess Leah wearing Daisy Duke shorts.

* You have the doors of your X-wing welded shut and you have to get in through the window.

* Although you had to kill him, you kinda thought that Jabba the Hutt had a pretty good handle on how to treat his women.

* You have a cousin who bears a strong resemblance to Chewbacca.

* You suggested that they outfit the Millennium Falcon with redwood deck.

* You were the only person drinking Jack Daniels during the cantina scene.

* If you hear . . . "Luke, I am your father... and your uncle..."

 Line up and odds:


        In lane 1. Passionate Lady @ 2 to1
        In lane 2. Bare Belly @ 4 to 1
        In lane 3. Silk Panties @ 8 to 1
        In lane 4. Conscience @ 100 t0 1
        In lane 5. Jockey Shorts @ 10 to 1
        In lane 6. Clean Sheets @ 25 to 1
        In lane 7. Thighs @ 15 to 1
        In lane 8. Big Dick @ 2 to 5
        In lane 9. Heavy Bosom @ 12 to 1
        In lane 10. Merry Cherry @ 50 to 1


AND THEY'RE OFF!!!


        Conscience is left behind at the gate.
        Jockey Shorts and Silk Panties are off in a hurry.
        Heavy Bosom is being pressured.
        Passionate Lady is caught between Thighs and
        Big Dick is in a dangerous spot.


AT THE HALFWAY MARK:


        It's Bare Belly on top, Thighs open and
        Big Dick is pushing in.
        Heavy Bosom is being pushed hard against Clean Sheets.
        Passionate Lady and Thighs are working hard on Bare Belly.
        Bare Belly is under terrific pressure from Big Dick.


AT THE TURN


        Merry Cherry pops under the strain.
        Silk Panties and Jockey shorts are no longer in the picture
        Bare Belly is making a final push.
        Big Dick is in and Passionate Lady is coming.


AT THE STRETCH:


        It's Big Dick taking charge
        Passionate Lady continues to take all Big Dick can offer.
        Bare Belly buckles under the pressure
        As Thighs are forced wide


AT THE FINISH


        It looks like a dead heat but Big Dick comes
        through with one final thrust and wins by a head
        Bare Belly shows
        Thighs continue to fall back
        Heavy Bosom pulls up
        And Clean Sheets never had a chance.