Life in the "grey-area" What does that mean? That you're not ultimately good or evil? That you're indecisive? Hardly. Yes, I think it hurts to be dead, but only when your death occurs during your life. Like asphyxiating something which draws breath.
"Death can't occur during life?" I beg to differ. Without getting into the complexity of life being death and death true life etc... Some learn to fly with clipped wings...there are exceptions to every rule. However...these are the true immortals.
I envy those who can live in the light, and those who find it again when succumbed by darkness. It's a true testament to...favoritism? I'm not sure. Life is a psychological experiment. On one hand you have people like Thorndike with his Fundamentals of Learning Theory, and others that torture rodents for sociological behavioral studies. Then of course we have genetically engineered mice which better adapted to the various mazes they were placed into. So...are we as people being genetically engineered for something to come?
As a whole, people are larger in stature than we were 100 years ago. We're taller, we have bigger feet, we're living longer...we're evolving. My question is: What's the sociological experiment for which we are the guinnea pigs? What's the divine plan? (Not for mankind mind you, but individually). What is gained by our eternal suffering when most people never learn from it? And most of all...Why the FUCK are these assholes the ones seemingly rewarded? I think this is the crux of the experiment. The only difference here is... Those of us that are mentally and/or spiritually genetically altered aren't rewarded like our mouse counterparts.
The cheese for many is intentionally and forever out of reach. Inevitably, how do we react? Suicide? Is it that hopeless? Maybe... A distinct advantage we have over rodents. Starvation? Gluttony? Repression? Sounds good in theory, but before you can decide upon a fate for every action...what's the action? I admit...I do condone such actions...in part...I fathom the pain myself, but that doesn't make them a correct response.
How would the mouse react had the mouse the ability to cut itself? I bet if I looked hard enough...somewhere there's a case study where they tortured a mouse enough by making the cheese inaccessable or rewarding other mice in front of him etc...that he in turn chewed his foot off or starved himself etc... Is this mouse defective because of its actions? I think not. Should the mouse be punished? Ridiculed? Cast aside?
"That" is what living in the "grey-area" is. The unavoidable lack of equality.
Welcome to my world.
