It seems like so much bullshit has gone on recently. I'm not even sure what the fuck to think anymore...
Right now, I'm more confused than ever. And, what sucks, I don't feel I can even talk about it because of who all reads my blogs...
I am seriously debating deleting my fubar completly.... and then just using myspace or something... except theres a lot of ppl on myspace i don't want reading my blogs, or i could just make it all private...
I guess i need to just make a journal, although, I also like having my friends comment and give me their opinion...
Ya know whats odd... of all of the friends I have, the two I talk to most, I have become friends with because of MAN drama...
God, men suck. I just, don't know... I mean, there is just so much drama going on right now, and no matter what happens, I feel like I've screwed something up... even thought, when I sit and look at the situation, i don't feel i've done anything wrong.... but fuck, I've DONE SOMETHING wrong obviously... and I never know what!
I mean, fucking, last night for example... the power went off at work, right??? We had no power, and it was a BLAST. We sat and screwed around at work... and yeah... but then at the same time, I got off early... cuz, well, we had nothing to do. Dennis, was pissed off at me... honestly, I have no idea why. But apparently I'd done something wrong... I mean, I can't do anything right as far as he's concerned... I've just had a bad fucking past week and a half... seriously... since the whole start of this month basically... shit just keeps happening... one thing after another... and not just all with andrew, with dennis, my brother, all of my family... work, yadda yadda ya... just feels like nothing is going to just, WORK... and thats all i want, things to just, WORK out. I mean, I just want for ONE day to wake up, and not be worried about anything. I hate being worried about EVERYTHING....
But, by this time next month i'll be living on my own... or about to move out, depending, and hopefully things will start being less stressful. I think once I'm living ON my own, things will be a lot better. I'll be more in control of my life, my feelings, ME.... my heart. I think because of the bullshit with Dennis, and the drama from him, I let that control the rest of my life... I let dennis' stupid shit affect all of the other aspects of my life. And, so, then everything else gets that much more stressful for me...
GOd, I can't wait...
On my own. NO dennis... no drama... no bullshit...
GGOOODDD....
Anyways, I need to have some me time, and sit, and think, and all that, feel free to text me and whatever.... but i wont be on here much, just off and on, til 3 :D
