legalboxers's blog: "Life"

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving. What do I have to be "Thankful" for. for 11 months my mothers mental health has been going in decline from March from fighting with the tax preparers, the people who installed the 2 new windows, the people who put the new stairs and cement work (calling them 4x because of something not noticeable by many) to the people who put in a new hot water heater (a small dent which does not stop the functionality of the unit) ,not to mention "seeing" things which arent there.

On the other side of the coin to my volunteer work with law enforcement. 3 pronged issue. Someone who comes to the meetings and tells people to "profile people of color and leave the others alone". to a group text which is so toxic I get yelled because I refuse to participate, and favoritism for someone who is those "Forrest Gump" wannabes who brown nose to get ahead and do other things.

PART I: something which never will happen for me. EVERWorking for a firm for months, grueling hours. Working past 6-7pm. Got into a relationship. Things are going well, but they aren't. I find something which will make the firm look golden and publicity. Its the holidays, I dont want to do anything, The relationship went south so I am immersed in my work. The head lawyer tells me to bring a tux and not to go home after work. Puzzled I look at him. Im like okay fine.

Im still trudging at my desk, until security knock at my cubical telling me the office is closed and I needed to go to the restaurant immediately but I needed to change into my tuxedo.

So I change and walk to the black tie affair, it was something which the firm had planned its Christmas holiday party. As Im walking in they are ice sculptures all over the place, Hors d'oeuvre are being served. As well as champagne, As people are milling into the dining area, the head of the firm is giving a speech about the firms accomplishments, and giving awards to honorees. I had a long day and I was walking out of the venue until the called my name to come to the stage. I refused but everyone was cajoling me to come up. Reluctantly I went up on stage, Since I finished law school I was struggling with everything, so the head attorney says how with my hard work and diligence, I was able to pick up on something which they missed in essence, winning a huge case (which they did not tell me about) and I was given a plaque, and they were giving me a "baby lawyer" position within the firm. Everyone started applauding....

Then, Jr Attorney of the firm said "we have a surprise for you", the person I was with whom I hadnt seen in 4 months comes to the stage and makes an announcement - how she is pregnant with our child (twins) and she disappeared for 4 months so she can help her family, And how she is proud of me..


PART II Its Thanksgiving (and Christmas) I dont like my family over but you invited yours, those who are more favorable to me. We are all gathered at the table, we are eating our meals, Everyone is so happy to see us, with all we been dealing with the whole year. When everyone leaves we are cleaning the table and everything else. This Holiday Night by Margo Rey is playing in the background.

We are dancing to the lights of the Christmas Tree and the candles. You tell me you love me, and you are happy to be with me...

This year fucking sucked. And my hopes and dreams never will come true.

Why do I bother with people....

I dont like doing things.. especially when Im being forced to do things.. I dont want to do....

people tend to forget who has their backs at their lowest. Should you be open to help someone or just stay cold because of a person or persons who scum you

Wanna say it now, wanna make it clear
For only you and God to hear
When you love someone, they say you set 'em free
But that ain't gonna work for me

.

.

I still love you. I wish you married me. I know I never ever will get that opportunity in my life. You said you were my twin flame. So lets burn bright together. I know somehere deep inside you feel the same....

Is this how its suppose to be?

http://fubar.com/5469757

6 years after you blocked me on here. you contacted me again. I havent stopped crying and wondering. You said I blocked you. I never did. I dont know why you contacted me. You knew the other ways to find me - even email. But alas - You said you have kids who are autistic. You know you really could of married me. We are twin flames you know......

First. I knew this person for a while. Met her in person maybe once or twice. She would only text me and send me nudes of herself. No phone conversations. I knew her for 10 plus years. A few weeks ago her mother died and prior to that her brother died. She got mad because I did not attend the wake. I dont like funerals. thats one, two. She couldnt even pick up the phone and talk to me for the 10 years. And when I tried calling she never answered. Am I wrong for not attending the funerals?

Second. I knew this person for 18 years. I wasn't keen on visiting her or seeing her since she was an addict. During the pandemic - she was so desperate to get out of New York - a 60 yr old from Florida came to pick her up and take her to Florida (she's about my age) He paid for her cell phone and the games she played on line. Even for her addiction. Until one day he messages me saying she's back up in here. She has Hep C, and I find out - she's not here legally - She says that "she's a princess - does not cook nor clean nor do anything". Should I bother seeing her or getting into a relationship with her?

You ask me to help you with the divorce paperwork. Um.. HELLO... I did it and saved it from when you were ENGAGED to me. But you didnt want to. Now Im not with you.. You still want me to help you. WHY. You dont want to marry me, you just using me to help you. How is that proper and right?