I hate being fat, I hate being unemployed, I hate being poor, I hate being broke, I hate being lonely, I hate having to rely on my parents. When I look in the mirror after I get out of the show I am disgusted by the fat woman I see. I never wanted to be this big ever, it's no wonder why I'm single a guy would have to be blind to want anything to do with me. I am always crying, I can't be mad at anyone except for Lauren, no one else put me in the situation I'm in except myself. I want to be happy again, that seems completely impossible. I'm stuck on my weight loss, I'm on a plateau and my weight goes up it hasn't gone back down in a long time. I have no one in my family going on walks with me or being supportive to help me with my weight loss. I get comments on Facebook from other family members congratulating me on my weight loss, that's the only support I have.