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Brighteyes's blog: "Life"

created on 12/05/2006  |  http://fubar.com/life/b31416

I'm Tired

I'm Tired I'm tired of people telling me how to feel,when to feel and when it's ok to stop. I'm tired of being told how to act, what to do, and what I'm doing wrong. I'ts my life, my mistakes and my feelings my memories NOT YOURS! Let me deal with it my way not yours! Your not in my head, my heart or my life, you say you understand what I'm going through but you have no idea. When you see through my eyes, with my heart and my pain then you have room too talk.
The first time you kissed me you stole my heart and soul, from that time on my life was no longer my own. Every breath, every beat of my heart was in sync with yours, every breath you took consumed every aspect of me and i was no longer one person but two entwined. Your dreams were mine and nothing stopped me from helping you succeed in them. The young girl you met would never be the same ever again. You planted a seed in me that grew with every minute of time . The seed grew like a weed that spreads through a rose garden until you no longer see the flower but the weed. Eventually I forgot my hopes and dreams that were there before your kiss and pushed them so far inside that they began to become nothing but a memory that seemed to fade away. In time I lost myself completely and was happy with the fact that I was you. I loved the sound of your heart in my head as i feel asleep on your chest, it was the sound of mine. I no longer cared about who I once was cause I was safe in you, I hid in your strength and love, Our love was all i wanted and needed to survive.I took the vow to never stop loving you and never part until death. Your kiss was taken away as quickly as it was given and all at once I had no breath and no heart beat, all my hopes and dreams were taken away as the blood flew against the wall. As time stood still in that moment I reliezed that my life as I knew it was over. All i was left with was the memory of that kiss that stole who I was and now the memory of the gun that took it away. My saftey was taken away with your last breath and my soul was left incomplete. Now all i'm left with is the last kiss i took from your cold lips before they covered you. My soul left with yours,my breath was taken when you took your last, my heart broke into a million peices as yours stopped. All i'm left with is a memory of you and your smell on your pillow. How do you kiss a memory, you cant grow old with a memory. You left me without myself and without you,you took who I was and now i'm left here to find her again, Im left to find the lost little girl with all her big dreams. All I was left with was a memory a memory that will haunt me forever.
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