Beautiful Disaster's blog: "Life"

We have made it about a week with no illnesses!!!!!!! I am so happy! Tomorrow is Michelle's birthday party and I have spent most of my day shopping, cleaning, and grumbling at everyone. Someone left the toilet seat open again and Michelle found it, Billy threw all of his dirty clothes in his toy box, and Mya is following me around with questions about everything. As frustraiting as it is, it is also pretty funny. I am glad they are here to keep my mind off of most things. On a sad note: Today would have been my moms birthday. Thankfully, I have been busy, so I didn't really think about it. I think I more or less forgot or pushed it out of my mind, until I talked to my grandmother and she reminded me. I almost feel bad that we will be celebrating Michelle's birthday tomorrow and not hers. I have told myself that she would not want me to dwell on things, so I am working on not dwelling on it. If that makes any sence. I still have a few things to do, so I better get moving. And if you haven't seen the movie I made for Michelle's birthday, please go check it out. You can find it on my profile and in my videos. Thanks! Michelle's Party! We had a good day and I think Michelle had some fun. She didn't want to make a complete mess of herself again (with her cake) today. I don't know if it has something to do with her not really excepting solids or not. I am planning to wean her off the breast and start her on a bottle. I think that it might help with the solids. But, I must talk to her doctor first, sometime this coming week. Anyways, back to the party. We had five kids and eight or nine adults. She got a huge teddy bear, a puppet that is a Santa Bear, and her Grandma made her a beautiful blanket. I will post pictures tomorrow. My digital camera does not work well at night. Her daddy made a triple layer cake, two chocolate one vanilla, and it is completly gone. We also has fruit, chicken nuggets, and french fries that didn't want to cook! I am about ready to toss the stove into a snow drift (if I could in fact through it and we had snow drifts). Overall, it went pretty good, Michelle has started bonding with the rest of the family and she let her Grandma dance with her to the Hampster Dance. Unfortently, I didn't think about pictures, until this very moment. Oh, well. Tomorrow starts the day we start making our Christmas ornaments and next weekend, I won't be home. I am so gonna miss my computer! Well, I will be back tomorrow for the pictures of Michelle's gifts and the ornaments.

A year has passed since I was traped in a hospital room. Remembering back, it was probely the worst thing about being pregnant, the high blood pressure and giving birth. I was confined to bed and was depressed. I was also about an hour and a half away from home. My older two children could not come and see me every day and I hate being away from them. I don't even remember everything, because of the magnisum they had me on (to control the blood pressure and contactions). All I really remeber was the "vampires" that came in my room every hour to draw blood to check the mag levels. When I left the hospital it looked like I had shot up heroin in the past. I still can see some of the scars. I remember my husband being there, my MIL, and some other family seemed to be wondering in and out. After awhile the contractions stopped and I was taken off the mag and had that awful cathiter taken out. That is another thing I can do without, I drove those nurses crazy, I was still hooked up to an IV and they had to come and unhook me so I could go to the bathroom. In about 40 to 50 hours will be Michelle's official Birthday and the time that I started to really worry last year. We were given the choice to, let me go home and stay in bed 24/7, stay at the hospital (that was really getting old, fast), or go ahead and induce labor. We then desided I should give birth and come home in the next couple of days, hopefully with the baby. I think someone was laughing at me, because Michelle had a clean bill of health, while they wanted ME to stay in the hospital longer. We left on Dec. 8, with the warning that my blood pressure was still high and I better get to the emergency room if I started to feel bad again. I think it was hospital induced, I was fine when I got home. And so was my baby, my beautiful Michelle. Now, she is leaving babyhood and entering toddlerhood, and I am sad, mostly because, I will miss having a small baby in my house, I will miss the baby smells, I will miss the small body cuddled in my arms, I will miss it all. But I am looking forward to her growing, seeing the color of her eyes, her hair, and everything that is coming. I am just thinking about everything that has been and being happy and sad for what the past year has brought us and what is to come.