James's blog: "life"

Sitting here alone with my eyes closed thinking about how it use to be, the laughter, love, holding each other. Now I look out to see that it is all gone, what once was a new love has seem to be all but dead and gone. why can't we get back to how it was? Why do I dream of an ice cold blade being thrust into my heart? God how i miss the feel of her kiss, the warmth of her touch, the sound of her voice saying i love you. She was mine and now it seems i have been replaced by another, and everyday my heart is being crushed more and more to the point that i will no longer have a heart. I am just a shell of what i use to be, just walking in a daze. I love her and i try to say what i feel and she seems to not care. Maybe someday I will be fine maybe not or maybe death will be a sweet ending. But today i just want to give up and fade away, cause I feel nothing I am numb, Yes I am just rambling but this is why I am Broken.

so yall its been forever since i blogged. well i been feelin kinda down the last few days, comin up on christmas and its a hard time for me, that is my dads b-day, and its been a long road to get here but i miss my dad still, july 4th 2003 he was takin away from me by cancer, it sucks bad cause i really want him here to just talk to and i wa=onder if i made him proud ya know those kinda things that are on my mind. dad i miss and love you so much you always on my mind R.I.P dad and happy b-day on christmas

so i sit here thinkin about this site and why i am still here. i have made some wonderful and loving friends and the love of my life, lots of the friends i have made will continue on into the real world, but there are time i ask why am i here, i feel ignored alot and i dont know why but seems wy i type i get looked over and it really hurts. so i start to think i should have never joined this site as much as i love bein here. just wanted to get down some thoughts ty for reading if u do.