insanefreakygothgirl's blog: "life"

one day u feel like crying.... call me. I dont promise that i will make u laugh, but i can cry with u. If one day u want to run away-- dont be afraid to call me. I dont promise to ask u to stop......but i can run with u. If one day u dont want to listen to anyone.....call me. I promise to be there for u but also promise to remain quiet. But one day if u call......and there is no anwser.....come fast to see me. Perhaps i need you. Send this to all your friends, no matter how often you talk, or how close you are, and send it to the person who sent it to you. Let old friends know you haven't forgotten them, and tell new friends you never will. tomorrow the shock of your life will occur if u break the chain. you will have bad luck for 10 years, if you don't pass this on to 15 people. if u get this it means the person who sent it truly cares about u!"

life is hard to live because all i have in life is pain from the time i get up in the morning i look at myself in the mirro what a depressing lif i live life to me needs to die i need no part in this life i live toady life is something that cause me pain not and day now i'll finely tell people how i really feel about my self and this life i live im makeing sure my friends know the real me and this is me all the way so if you don't want nothing to do with me then you must live as i must walk this path alone .

When inside the darkness surrounds you? This great depression covers your heart. Your tears fall as you sit and stare out. Defeat has taken control of your emotions. There is nothing you can do to stop the pain. Knowing that tomorrow will be the same. Peace seems so far away from you. How does one live with the sadness. A life once so beautiful now weary and torn. As you sit and think your thoughts turn. To a place, only you can enter. A safe mode in your mind. Thoughts of suicide start drifting forward. You wonder if that is the path to take. Is that the only way to stop the pain? You reach for the gun knowing it is loaded. It feels cold and uncaring in your hand. You stare at it thinking it wont hurt. Just pull the trigger and it is all over. Doubts cloud your mind as you ponder. What if it fails to go off, what then? No it wont you bought it just for this moment. Raising the gun you smile freedom is a breath away. As you place it against your head, you whisper God forgive me. Your hand trembles as you feel your finger move. Then there is nothingness as the blackness comes. As silence fills the night, you fall.

My soul is twisted inside. Pain now leads me to darkness. Evil engulfs the good I once was. No more shall I be the abused. I seek this path of destruction. Revenge my only thought. As I dwell within the shadows. Waiting, watching, anticipating, I linger beyond the realm of light. A soul cast deep into purgatory. Wicked temptress of the night, a vulture now ready to feed. Come to me innocent soul. Let me devour your very heart. Become my prince in the darkness. Together we shall feast in silence. Cast out the shadows of doubt. Lovers at this lost gateway to hell. Let me feed upon your goodness. You shall become as I have. A twisted soul in purgatory...

People all around you Have to stop and stare Some will even wonder How those scars got there I have bad scars too Except mine aren't hard to hide See yours are on your skin Mine are deep inside Yes my insides damaged So cut up and torn It's not because of sickness Or because of 3rd degree burns Mine are from the past So dark and not well seen I don't have anymore nightmares In fact, I don't even dream I'm so torn apart Broken up and hurt My life has not been pleasant I've been tossed and thrown in dirt The people I have trust the most Have broken me and lied I don't have a best friend any more because she also lies When I do the right thing wrong My life goes round and round When I wake up the next morning I'm lying on the ground My heart is somewhat broken I suffer from great pain Some people stop and wonder Is that girl insane? Though people try to help me Mend my broken heart I'm starting to get better But they'll never fill the part The part that's dark and empty Gloomy and ice cold I'm hoping I'll get better Or so I have been told You and I aren't different You suffer so do I We both have lost a great amount We both sit alone and cry People all around you Have to stop and stare Some will even wonder How those scars got there see

I cry myself to sleep because it's the only thing I can do right, I avoid you because I would rather be alone, I dress in black so I can be invisible at night, I stay out late to avoid the fights that go on at home, I remain misunderstood because no one wants to understand me, I play my music loud so no one can hear me cry, I rebel because no one will let things be, I make a scene so you will notice if I die, I cut my wrists so I know I'm not numb, I sleep in late because I'm afraid of the day, I don't try because everyone just assumes I'm dumb, I don't talk because I have nothing to say, I guess I don't need to be understood, I’ll be alright, I just needs you to leave me alone! Or I might just crumble out her in the dark engulfed in my own darkness.

You don't understand And you can't see The monster inside That's killing me You say you love me You say you care But my spirit is breaking And you only stare I was alive once And I was free But now I'm only a shell This is not me Afraid to laugh Afraid to cry Afraid of you screaming Watching time pass by You don't know Because you weren't there The people you keep me from Are the ones that truly care You say that he hurt me You say that he's bad But I know we share a special bond And that makes you mad No I wait for the day When am free To prove to you He and I were meant to be really i think we were meant to be but until the day he layed a hand on me and hurt me with all this scared on my body he left behind

This season is the time for happiness and cheer, But look through my eyes and you will see a tear. The words that I speak are never to be heard, And all I want from you is your promising word. No one ever listens to a word that I say, All I need is for someone to point me into the traveling way. Having no one to talk to makes the anger build within, So I think hard and loud knowing I need to raise my chin. I fight with myself all the time, Wanting to do something but knowing it's a crime. I just want all this anger within me to just come out, I have this huge urge just to shout. I just want to release the real me from being hidden within, Sometimes I think all the things I do are a sin. Please help release the me hidden within.

Body, mind, and soul You stole my heart When I looked into your eyes And to my surprise You saw my heart And you came in and saved me Body, mind, and soul I work my fingers to the bone I work all day I work all night Night and day, day and night I wish I could relax Let my body float like a kite Body, mind, and soul Through your eyes You see my sin Through my eyes I see material things Through you eyes You see my thoughts and my pain Through my eyes and my mouth I see and say your name Body, mind, and soul Help me see what's inside of my heart Help me start a new beginning Help me take a new step A new chapter

I want to run away Inside my bright red scream I want to break the doors Holding back my dream Living like this Checking the skies for rain A constant reminder Of this burden and pain I'm holding on to A shooting star Its points cutting my skin This time it's gone too far Nothing left to wish on My bloody star fell Left me drowning in hopes Inside my wishing well Not looking for a hero To owe such a debt I could not ask for saving This loss is not a regret I want to run away But there's nothing out there I want to shatter windows That look out on nowhere This is not life If I'm already dead My bleeding heart stopped beating And tears I no longer shed